Dave Pollard's environmental philosophy, creative works, business papers and essays.


 



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Amsterdam

kissLogan had been at the conference in Amsterdam all week, and now some weather delay he didn't understand had caused the cancellation of the last connecting flight home of the day. So, exhausted and out of breath from the scramble to Schipol, he'd re-booked on the Saturday morning flight, called his wife Martine with his new arrival time, and now was standing staring out a picture window in the terminal trying to decide what to do next.

"Logan, isn't it?" A female voice.

"It's Alyssa. From the conference. Remember? You missed your flight, too, from the look of it."

Logan looked at her blankly. She'd changed from business attrire into jeans, and had let her hair down. He hardly recognized her. He frowned, confused and embarrassed.

"Yeah. You were the facilitation leader in the morning sessions." Pause. "I guess we're stuck here 'til tomorrow. Where're you staying?"

"Haven't decided yet. Ron's really pissed -- we were supposed to go to some friends' cottage tomorrow for the long weekend. How did your wife take it, or are you married, I don't remember?"

"Martine has to work tomorrow anyway, so she was fine with it. Do you want to grab something to eat somewhere?" He felt helpless. He didn't know Amsterdam well, had only been in the city once before.

Alyssa smiled. She looked thoughtfully over his shoulder at the falling dark, then said:

"I could use a drink more than anything." Then, after a pause. "You know what? I've got another idea. I've always wanted to find out whether what they say about this city is true. You game for a little adventure?"

Logan sighed, suppressing a groan. He was worn out, and her enthusiasm for any activity after the gruelling events of the week deflated him. He didn't know where she got the energy. She could hear it in his response, tentative, almost apologetic:

"I don't know", he said. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well, my Dutch co-facilitator was ribbing me about how much bolder Europeans are when they explore foreign cities. When I told him I'd seen the Red Light district and wasn't impressed he just laughed and said 'That's just for tourists. The real night-life in Amsterdam is the clubs with the live sex shows, the hash bars, the nudist clubs and the swinger bars.' I think he's making it up, but I'd like to call his bluff. What do you think? I bet the taxi drivers here would know where these places are, if they exist. We could pretend we're a shy married couple, and keep each other out of trouble. No hanky-panky, just looking. I'm dying of curiosity. You up for it?"

He wasn't. Quite apart from his fatigue, the moral repurcussions of such an escapade, no matter how innocent in fact, distressed him.

"The locals will see us coming a mile off. We'll be ripped off, and possibly mugged. How would you explain that to Rod?"

"His name is Ron. All you had to say was no. It was just an idea."

She looked disappointed. He knew it was game over. He took a big breath.

"Well, I guess there's no harm in trying out one place. If it looks dangerous or things get iffy to either one of us, we bail, no arguments, no questions asked. OK? We stick together."

"Deal." Her obvious pleasure at this contract, the conspiring look in her eyes, caught him aback. She was headed for the taxi stand. He checked their carry-ons into a single locker and met her there. The cabby was young, long-haired, casually dressed, obviously amused at the conversation. They climbed in and instead of driving he turned around.

"It's a good thing you came to me and not to any of the regular taxi drivers. They would charge you 75 Euros and take you to one of the tourist traps and abandon you. You've seen the Red Light District so you know how tacky it is. The sex shows are just as bad -- bored people doing mindless fucking. It's not erotic at all. If you really want to see that I'll take you to Casa Rosso, which is not as bad as most. But if you really want an adventure, why not go to a parenclub?" There the customers are the show, and they're real. The best ones are for couples only -- it keeps out the single male tourists and the prostitutes."

Alyssa was nodding.

"So these clubs are, like, for voyeurs and exibitionists, couples who get off watching other couples."

"Yes, of course, but also swingers. Threesomes and foursomes and swapping and all that. They're very safe, clean. No violence, no unprotected sex, no singles, and some of them have been around for decades -- their reputation is everything to them."

"We're in your capable hands."

The club had no sign outside the door, but they could hear the music playing inside. The hostess, a slim, mature Dutchwoman, greeted them at the door as if they were old friends, led them to the bar, and a few minutes later returned to find them looking at the crowd and then at each other in obvious bemusement. She leaned close to Alyssa's ear and said:

"There's a young couple over there, Karel & Lina, two of our regulars, who would like to meet you. Would you like to join them at their table? No obligation."

Alyssa nodded, the hostess made the introductions, and the couples exchanged handshakes and three-cheek kisses. Karel said:

"Welcome. We understand you are visitors to our country, and new to this type of establishment. We want you to know that there is no pressure to do anything at a parenclub, but also that nothing is forbidden. If you just like to watch, this is fine, but if you should be interested in participating, that too is fine. Also you are free here to put on a little show, and others I am sure would enjoy this as well."

Latin music was playing, and three young people, two boys and a girl, perhaps in their final year of high school, were doing a lambada style dance together, not very well, but with great enthusiasm, and all three naked from the waist up. They were playing to the audience, which they obviously enjoyed, and which clapped in appreciation. Karel excused himself, saying he had "something that must be looked after", and to Alyssa's and Logan's astonishment he disappeared under their table. From the look on Lina's face there was no doubt what he was doing. Alyssa, bug-eyed, covered her mouth to stifle an amazed laugh. Lina smiled, eyes sparkling, and said, ambiguously:

"There's room for you down there, too, Logan."

Logan's mind was reeling. Too much to drink on an empty stomach, he thought, but he felt uncharacteristically restless, out of control. Alyssa, seated close beside Lina, was giggling, now, uninhibited, as the two women whispered in each other's ears, and Logan, seated at the end of the table beside Alyssa, wondered whether Karel was limiting his attentions to his own wife. Lina's nipples, clearly erect, and the aureoles of her breasts were both visible through her thin, bra-less blouse. Lina said, to both of them:

"I hope you don't mind, we took the liberty of putting a little pick-me-up in your drinks. Something to get you into the spirit of our club. Nothing that would make you do anything you wouldn't do anyway, of course. It is a relative of Viagra, except it is a bit stronger, longer lasting. When the two of you get back to your hotel, you probably won't do much sleeping."

A moment later she closed her eyes and gasped, moaning softly. Karel re-emerged, and Lina turned to Alyssa and said:

"I think I need to visit the toilet. Alyssa, would you care to come with me, please?"

When they got there, Lina said to Alyssa, "You know, you are a bit overdressed perhaps for a club like this. You look like you're going to a business meeting. Do you have something a bit less...uh...confining?"

"We just came from a business meeting. We didn't have time to change. Are jeans unacceptable here? It looked to me like the dress code was, uh, pretty liberal."

"Yes of course, but...Your blouse. Is it long enough to wear as a dress?"

Alyssa blushed. "It would be a very short one."

"That's fine. Let's take a look....Ah, that's wonderful, you have magnificent legs, and the silky blouse is perfect! Just take your belt and put it around the waist. That will make it even a bit more short, and complete the ensemble. Magnificent".

When they returned to the table, both men's jaws dropped. They had been watching the young trio, who had lost the last of their inhibitions and stripped off their remaining clothes, writhing against each other with abandon. But the muscles of Alyssa's thighs caused gasps and whistles from many of the club's admiring patrons.

"What do you think, my love?" Alyssa said to Logan, twirling around. She leaned against him and whispered, "We're not making a very convincing married couple", and then kissed him, wantonly, lingering, her tongue caressing the inside of his lips, and then, as she brushed up against him and felt his response, said, "Wow, that stuff really works, doesn't it? You're obviously not wearing any underwear."

Karel looked at them with admiration and said, "We spent a weekend last year with a French couple who had studied the Tantric sciences for a year. They make love for six hours straight, every day, and they taught us a Tantric kiss. Can we show you how it works?"

He turned to Lina and gently pressed his lips to hers. A minute later they broke apart, dreamily, and he explained:

"It's a combination of slow alternating breathing -- one breathes out while the other breathes in, and slow caresses with the tongue at the same time as slow caresses by the hand -- of your lover's face, fingers, back, and with eyes always open, looking deeply into her eyes. It's as if you're breathing as a single creature, in a cycle, that continually renews and deeply sustains itself. Now we will show you directly, OK?"

Lina kissed Logan while Karel kissed Alyssa, and then Karel insisted that Logan and Alyssa practice it, for "an absolute minimum of fifteen minutes". Blushing and laughing, they complied with the order. When they finished they were both quivering, pupils dilated, breathing heavily and harmoniously, but they found that Karel and Lina had gone. When they went to settle their bill, they were told it had been taken care of, and that Karel and Lina had left them a note that said:

Loved meeting you. Go next to Zandershuis. Shed your inhibitions. Tell Marijse we sent you. -- L.

The hostess said that Zandershuis was a short walk away and offered directions. Alyssa looked at Logan and they both smiled. There was no need to ask. It was raining lightly so they ran the few short blocks to this next destination. Alyssa suddenly remembered she had left her jeans at the other club. But when they went into Zandershuis they realized it didn't matter, and understood the meaning of Lina's note. Zandershuis was a nudist club.

They were offered a crisp white linen numbered laundry bag for their clothes, which would be stored during their stay. Logan, still suffering the effects of Karel's 'pick-me-up' was reticent, but was assured that this was an adult-only, couples club and he'd be in good company. This was no family naturist club. A stunning black woman came up and introduced herself as Marijse as they undressed, and she explained the Zandershuis rules:

"It is a bit dark inside, and we use glow-in-the-dark bracelets to signal each customer's interests. Lina said you would probably want to start with reds -- voyeur/exhibitionist only. There is also yellow, which is for swapping, and green, which is for multiple partner activities. We ask the men to always wear condoms -- these days you can never be too safe, and this bag I'm attaching to Logan's bracelet has a complete supply. They're top-of-the-line, so sheer they're almost invisible, but strong enough to survive a marathon..."

She stopped as Alyssa gasped when Brent removed his pants. It was not a response to his equipment, but rather to the fact that he was hairless. Marijse winked at him and went on:

"Just for fun, the bracelets hook together. There's a little clasp on each one that locks like this. In an emergency just pull very hard and it will come undone. It is a custom here that couples wearing red bracelets come in with their bracelets hooked behind them, so others can see what they're missing. Later you can re-hook them to each other while you're dancing. Very romantic. We have no furniture here, so each customer gets a pillow to sit on. Don't worry, they're laundered and bleached daily. What else do I need to tell you? Oh yes, I need to know your favourite song for the DJ. And Lina told me that she'd already looked after you, which I can see very well, but if you like I could give you a booster in your next drink.."

"No" said Logan, "Yes, please", said Alyssa, simultaneously. They stared at each other. Alyssa went on: "And our song is Je t'aime...moi non plus."

Marijse laughed and said "Excellent. I will look after that immediately. Let me introduce you now to our little group."

To their astonishment, their entrance was greeted by a round of applause by the assembled crowd. The room smelled of sex, sweat and the sweet aroma of marijuana. The DJ was playing an interminable trance song, and some couples, and green-braceleted groups, were dancing, while others were sitting around talking or making out. They chatted for awhile to some other 'reds', who reached around and unhooked their bracelet handcuffs as their drinks arrived. A young lady with a small box came over and whispered in Alyssa's ear. Alyssa opened her eyes wide and laughed, embarrassed, but then nodded. The woman with the box signalled to Alyssa to swivel around and face her, as she opened the box. It was a shaving kit. She performed her job quickly and meticulously, enjoying Alyssa's obvious arousal and self-consciousness. She was asked to stand, to another round of applause, both for the model and the artist, who did a mock-curtsey. She then whispered again in Alyssa's ear "Marijse asked me to give you this. The others can show you how it works", and then she packed up the shaving kit and departed.

A young lady sitting nearby slid her pillow over beside Alyssa and opened the package. She wrapped the two blue glow-in-the-dark straps around the top of each of Alyssa's thighs, and then connected the soft blue pad in between them, sliding it up into place. "Who gets the remote?" she whispered to Alyssa. A lot of red-braceleted hands in the group in which they were sitting went up, volunteering. Alyssa nodded to Logan. The young lady handed the remote to him, showing him how the slider worked. He turned it on and Alyssa jumped, startled, as the butterfly massager sprung into action, bringing a round of laughter and more applause from the crowd. A moment later 'their song' came on and Alyssa pulled Logan to his feet for the slow dance. As they moved to the music she clipped his bracelets together behind her back, and her own around his neck. He pushed the slider on the remote up and she moaned in his ear "Omigod" and then "Ready to practice that Tantric kiss some more?" She didn't wait for an answer and a moment later his kiss muffled her cries as he pushed the slider up to full.

They lost track of time. Marijse came over and pulled them, still tied together, through a narrow door. To Alyssa she said:

"Thought you might like a bit of privacy. The music is piped in here. The toilet and shower is over there. I've refreshed your drinks. See you later."

Alyssa was drowning in bliss, oblivious to everything. She was holding on to Logan for dear life, and the vibrations against his body were soon too much for him. For the first time in his life, he screamed, bringing their hour-long kiss to an end.

They slid to their knees, quivering uncontrollably, still clasped together. Alyssa was crying. For what seemed an eternity they just held each other. Then slowly they extracted themselves and Logan said:

"I think that might count as infidelity. Do you think we can use the fact we were drugged as an excuse?"

"I don't make excuses. Masturbation isn't infidelity. I don't think we've crossed any line. Besides, I wouldn't have missed this for the world. This little device is magic; I'm going to keep it even if it costs a thousand dollars... But now I need a shower. You might as well join me; I don't think there's anything you haven't already seen." Then she looked at him and added "Good God, that drug is absolutely amazing, too. Look at you, you look like you're ready for more already. When Lina told me it was good for thirty-six hours I thought she was kidding. Take that thing off and let's get cleaned up."

Exhausted, they sat, rather than stood, in the oversized shower stall. The Europeans have this right, Alyssa thought, marveling at the comfort and convenience of the long, flexible spray wand of the shower, which she used to hose them both down as they sat cross-legged. She pulled him up and asked him to help her wash her hair by holding the shower head for her. He obliged, but mischievously, as she lathered her hair, he slid the shower head down between her legs. She gasped, writhed, pressed forward crushing his hand and the wand between her body and the shower wall, and cried out again. "Now you", she said, spinning, pushing him face-first against the shower wall and sliding the hot, pulsating spray between his legs. For five minutes she pinned him against the wall that way, grinding against him, until he too, succumbed to the sensation. They sat again, arms on each other's shoulders, panting, gasping, and then washed themselves again.

As they passed back through the narrow door into the main room, Alyssa was astonished to see Logan was still rigid. "Christ, how much of that stuff did they give us?" she said.

To their amazement, it was already dawn as they retrieved their clothes and made their way out the main door. Alyssa had been surprised to find her jeans in their laundry bag, with some pills in the pocket wrapped in a piece of paper on which Lina had written: Take one every six hours as required (no more). The rest of their clothes had been washed, dried and ironed, to Logan's great relief. The bill was considerable, but discretely marked "Amsterdam Hotel", with charges not out of line for what an expensive hotel stay might have cost them. As they were dressing, Alyssa said:

"Logan, you're never going to get through airport security like that without any underwear." She took hers off again, and handed them to him. "Here, takes these. Now I've got my jeans back I don't need them...Besides, they're not mine. They're Lina's. She gave them to me when she took my jeans away in the bathroom of the other club. You'll look adorable in them."

At the airport, Logan used his frequent flyer points to upgrade them both to Business Class, seated next to each other, saying they would need to catch up on their sleep. But once on board, Alyssa surprised him again, slipping into the bathroom and removing her jeans, wearing only the freshly-cleaned blouse and belt from the previous night -- and, after telling him they needed to do a lot more practicing of the Tantric kiss before they could properly show it to their significant others, she pressed the butterfly's remote control discretely into his hand.

"I wonder if this thing will interfere with the airplane's navigation equipment", she said, smiling, leaning towards him.


Click here to visit the Radio UserLand website. © Copyright 2004 Dave Pollard.
Last update: 05/09/2004; 2:13:26 PM.



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