A ROSE WOULD SMELL AS SWEET…
Reuben & I went to the supermarket this afternoon. As we cruised the aisles I was telling him through yawns that I could in all seriousness lie down on the hard floor & fall into a deep, dreamless slumber in seconds. He was shouting more loudly than should be physically possible at the age of 9 months. The two of us didn't make ideal candidates for casual conversation with passers-by.
However, as we yawned & yelled our way between baked beans & pasta sauces a little old lady from Central Casting (slightly stooped, amber beads, a cloud of white hair) blocked our path. Adopting that benign pout that they teach you on your first day at Granny School, she cooed, 'Oh, what a beautiful little boy. What's his name?' I told her. Her face fell. 'Such a shame. Why oh why all these modern names? He's such an obvious James'.
Because we live in a civilised part of the world I refrained from bundling her into her own trolley & rushing her into the car park. But as we left the aisle in search of organic muesli I did give a few seconds thought to the increasingly fraught business of naming a child in the 21st century. Indeed, why not James, Thomas, Peter, Graham, Michael..?
Any lingering doubts as to our motives in selecting a name that was slightly off the beaten track evaporated as I wandered this evening through that excellent repository of show biz lore www.rockingvicar.com & came across the list below.
ROCK & FILM STARS' CHILDREN'S NAMES
Frank Zappa 's children: Moon Unit 2, Dweezil, Diva, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan
Diana Ross' daughter: Chudney Lane
James Hetfield's son: Castor Virgil
Tony Bennett's son: Daegal
Nikki Sixx's son and daughter: Decker Nilsson and Storm
Bono's son: Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q
Sting's son and daughter: Giacomo Luke Sumner and Coco
Aretha Franklin's son: Kecalf
Stevie Wonder's and Syreeta's son: Mumtaz
LL Cool J's son and daughter: Nejee and Tally
Brian Wilson's daughter: Carnie
Snoop Doggy Dogg's daughter: Chordé
Keith Richards' and Anita Pallenberg's daughter: Dandelion
Quincy Jones's daughter: Kidada
Melanie B's daughter: Phoenix Chi
Tanya Tucker's daughter: Presley Tanita
Clay Walker's daughter: Skylor ClayAnne
Neneh Cherry's daughter: Tyson
James Brown's daughter: Yamma
Marisa Berenson's daughter: Starlite Melody
Mia Farrow's kids: Lark Song and Satchel
The Phoenix Clan:
River Jude Bottom, Joaquin Raphael, Rain Joan of Arc, Summer Joy and finally
Libertad Mariposa Phoenix & her children: Rio Everest, Indigo Orion and Scarlette Jasmine Phoenix-Ash
12:59:01 AM 
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