VITAL DATA # 2
If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
Don't worry about what people think. Most of them don't do it very often.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Not one shred of evidence available supports the notion that life is serious.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
8:33:54 PM 
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