ALISTAIR COOKE
Alistair Cooke has died at the age of 95. And what a consummately useful life the guy led. Nearly 60 years of non-stop commentary on ëdark days & brightí in the United States ñ quiet, measured, humorous, liberal & utterly civilised. As the lunatics now secure their hold on the asylum, we have great need of such quiet, measured voices. Whoís left out there?
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The following are responses by British women to the section 'Father's Information' on Child Support Agency forms. All are, of course, absolutely genuine.
Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.
I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto heels in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW dealers in this area and see if he's had it replaced.
I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.
I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for British security. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.
Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?
So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith [celebrity TV cook] did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilised.
From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at EuroDisney. Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.
I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 36 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.
d
Weíre off to Brighton for three days. More precisely, the village of Steyning where we shall stay in Emmaís parentsí bijou cottage ñ 16th century with floors that slope & beams that mug you in the dark. So no blogging until the weekend, which will be strange indeed. Be good & keep the place tidy until I get back, everyoneÖ
11:38:10 PM 
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