The English language is particularly distinctive for the very wide range of homonyms it supports. A lexicographer friend sent me this new set of definitions as shortly to enter the updated Complete Oxford Dictionary.
Coffee (n.)
A person who is coughed upon.
Flabbergasted (adj.)
Appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.)
To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.)
To attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.)
Impotent
Negligent (adj.)
Describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Lymph (v.)
To walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.)
An olive-flavored mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.)
The emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.)
A rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle (n.)
A humorous question on an exam.
Rectitude (n.)
The formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist
immediately before he examines you.
Oyster (n.)
A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
Circumvent (n.)
The opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Frisbeetarianism (n.)
The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
Pokemon (n)
A Jamaican proctologist
It's possible that you too have friends who are lexicographers & they might have shared some of their discoveries with you...
10:59:12 PM 
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