THE E-FOLK PROCESS
More anonymous funnies for your delectation & delight, each a product of the e-folk process. This is the socio-cultural phenomenon whereby material either emerges organically, arising from day-to-day domestic experiences &, passing across the picket fences of Middle America, arrives in cyberspace, or it’s made up by bored under-employed office workers…
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat lying by the side of the road. Concerned, she asked him if it was dead or alive.
"Dead,” the little boy informed her laconically.
"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the boy.
"You did WHAT?” the teacher asked in horror.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
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A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....
"Da-ad...."
"What?
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later:
"Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?"
"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll come up there & spank you!!"
Five minutes later......
"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
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An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you ever expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said,
"Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
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When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said,
"Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied,
"Yes, honey. Remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know that," she replied impatiently, “but what's growing in your butt?"
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A little boy was doing his math homework, muttering to himself, “Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and, puzzled and concerned, asked,
“What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, “I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
“And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother demanded incredulously.
“Yes," he answered with a shrug.
Infuriated, the mother confronted the teacher the next day,
“"What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
“And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" the mother asked.
After the teacher stopped laughing (which took a long time to happen), she answered,
“What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
