30 January 2005

Now here’s an enormously useful set of prophecies & prognostications.  At least most of these cut-price Cassandras weren’t around to see their solemn assertions turn to dust.  Whereas those who predicted, say, the imminent discovery of weapons of mass destruction in the sand dunes of Iraq are still around.  In fact, they’re still holding the reins...   PREDICTIONS FROM THE PAST   "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949 "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 "I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957 "But what ... is it good for?" Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip. "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 "This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." Western Union internal memo, 1876. “Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?” H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927 "I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper." Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."   "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.   "The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives." Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project.   "Everything that can be invented has been invented." Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.   ........................................................................................... WORST SONG TITLES Returning to a previous meme, I found the following horrors here. 1. "I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Ice Cream" 2. "They Needed a Songbird in Heaven, So God Took Caruso Away" 3. "Plant a Watermelon on My Grave, and Let the Juice Soak Through" 4. "If the Man in the Moon Were a Coon" (!) 5. "Where Did Robinson Crusoe Go With Friday on Saturday Night" 6. "Come After Breakfast, Bring Your Lunch, and Leave Before Suppertime" 7. "How Could You Believe Me When I Said I Love You When You Know I've Been a Liar All My Life" 8. "I've Got Those Wake Up Seven Thirty, Wash Your Ears They're Dirty, Eat Your Eggs and Oatmeal Rush to School Blues" 9. "Would You Rather Be a Colonel with an Eagle on Your Shoulder or a Private with a Chicken on Your Knee" 10. "A Woman Is Only a Woman, But a Good Cigar Is a Smoke   10:45:20 PM    Mmm? []

© Copyright 2005 Dick Jones. Last update: 01/02/2005; 22:43:22.