24 February 2005

Last year I posted a number of questions that had been bothering me for some time.  Not one of them got answered. So, more in hope than expectation, here are some more… Why is there only one Monopolies and Mergers Commission? Light travels faster than sound: Is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead? Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts? Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is? Why is the alphabet in that order? If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money? What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way? If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it? Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? Do fish get cramps after eating? Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"? Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go? Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but washing-up liquid contains real lemons? How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it? Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking? 11:09:53 PM    Mmm? []

© Copyright 2005 Dick Jones. Last update: 01/03/2005; 22:00:26.