SPORTS: THE FOOT-IN-MOUTH EVENT
A dangerous combination of professional verbal diarrhoea & not infrequent intellectual incapacity renders the sports commentator peculiarly vulnerable to the mighty on-air blooper. The veteran British satirical magazine Private Eye has a long-running column called Colemanballs (named after a much-loved commentator prone to such cock-ups). Iím not sure what the provenance of the quotes below is but they may well be selections from Colemanballs, in which case I have given credit where itís due.
Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event:
"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator:
"This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience
since I once mounted her mother. "
Grand Prix Race Announcer:
"The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back."
Greg Norman, Pro Golfer:
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
Ringside Boxing Analyst:
"Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing -
but none of them really that serious. "
Baseball announcer:
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
Basketball analyst:
"He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
At a trophy ceremony BBC TV Boat Race 1988:
"Ah, isn't that nice? The wife of the Cambridge president is hugging
the cox of the Oxford crew."
Metro Radio, College Football:
"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.
11:28:17 PM 
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