Directed by : Mark Rosman
Written by: Leigh Dunlap
Starring: Hilary Duff (Sam), Jennifer Coolidge (Fiona), Chad Michael Murray (Austin), Dan Byrd (Carter), Regina King (Rhonda), Julie Gonzalo (Shelby), Lin Shaye (Mrs. Wells), Madeline Zima (Brianna), Andrea Avery (Gabriella), Mary Pat Gleason (Eleanor), Paul Rodriguez (Bobby), Whip Hubley (Sam's Dad), Kevin Kilner (Austin's Dad), Erica Hubbard (Madison), Simon Helberg (Terry).
(PG-13)
Hilary Duff as Hollywood's latest Cinderella
Is not a far reach considering our Bubble Gum era--
Mouseketeer mentality owns the radio and screen--
"Run to the nearest audition, be the new American Idol dream!"--
We demand Barbie looks like Britney, Ashlee, and Mandy--
An insta-makeover turns you into the latest eye candy.
Leigh Dunlap's script is sugary-sweet nonsense overload--
A gum-chewing cheerleader in passion melon dumb mode.
It's not the characters but the lines she's created
That leave the actors appearing bored and deflated--
Fiona the Flouse competes for the year's worst Botox queen
But she's far too dingy as the Threat to any of Sam's dreams.
And Brianna and Gabriella, so poorly created
Torture via scratching chalkboards might as well be reinstated.
Rosman's Cinderella tries too hard to catch the romance--
Eating cotten candy fluff, realizing there's no substance--
Even discussing Tennyson while phone-messaging Austin
Can't rescue the inanity this film gets lost in.
So for what it is worth, there was a film much less lamented
There's a more clever Cinderella. Take note: Ella Enchanted.
10:23:07 PM  | |
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