Excerpt of The Departure by Michael Parker

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Tuesday, January 11, 2005

You can’t build a house on sand and you can’t build a conservative wing-nut talk show on anything but controversy, heresay, or fear. It just won’t have staying power.

Of course Bill O’Reilly knows all about staying power, or at least, his prowess, as evidenced by harrassing phone calls to a female co-worker revealed late last year. (Remember? Loofah.) All right, so that’s a low blow. But don't you think O'Reilly should be used to it? After all, that's the same type of ilk his own show uses to keep its little heart beating -- lots of false accusations and fear-mongering enough to keep the Right reaching for their pom poms or heart pills, depending on the message coming out of his mouth and the tell-all facial expression he wears while delivering it.

By the way, you wanna talk about open books? This guy is the prima donna of them.

PRODUCER : BILL, THIS IS A SAD STORY SO SHOW ME SAD....I MEAN PUPPY-DOG-HAS-JUST-DIED SAD.

Yes. One doesn’t need to have the volume turned up on the television to know how O’Reilly feels about a subject. Just look at his face and you’ll know everything. (Personally, I think he does the I’m-so-hurt-and-offended-I-just-might-cry-and-die look the best.)

But I digress.

O’Reilly made some disparaging remarks about the upcoming Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope telethon. In his O’Reilly Factor show that aired last Thursday, O’Reilly mentioned that he would be watching to see if the funds raised would actually make it to the victims. "If it does not," O'Reilly warned, "there will be trouble."

George Clooney, the shows top recruiter, came to the defense of the fundraiser and called O’Reilly on it in a letter released yesterday through the actor’s publicist.

"Your report last Thursday was a preemptive strike...NOT to protect the families affected by the tsunami, but to create more controversy for your own personal gain. Because of it, fewer people will donate money to help truly traumatized victims, they'll be afraid that their money will do no good," Clooney wrote.

The suave, politically savvy, humanitarian, and superstar actor closed off his letter with nothing other than an invitation, stating: "I'm booking talent for the tsunami event...and you, Mr. O'Reilly, are now officially invited to be a presenter...you personally follow up on our fundraising."

Last night, in O’Reilly’s segment called "Most Ridiculous Item," O’Reilly stuck to his loofahs stating that he would participate only if they told him the specifics on how the money would be distributed.

Just the fact that O’Reilly addressed his reply in the "Most Ridiculous Item" section reveals it all-O’Reilly isn’t going to participate and anyone who does, whether they perform or pledge funds, is ridiculous.

O’Reilly should get real. If he is going to disparage efforts for assistance, he should pick up his No Spin Zone and set it up squarely in the middle of the Tsunami Disaster Zone; and after interviewing survivor after survivor about how the tsunami took everything they own, he should plead with his viewers to contribute and help.


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Blog banner taken from the oil painting "The Departure" (40"x 30") by Michael Parker, 1999.


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