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Michael Parker's Journal
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Monday, May 30, 2005 |
This is the first year in I don't know how long that I can remember that we did not travel around to visit the graves of our loved ones who haved passed on. Many of you don't know that I just had my gall bladder taken out last Friday morning. I've been very ill most of the year. Symptoms worsened in March and stayed consistent till the surgeon took it out. At first, my primary care physician diagnosed it as a stomach ulcer. But when symptoms kept reoccurring after two weeks of being on Prilosec, he encouraged me to see a specialist. My specialist first diagnosed me with irritable bowel syndrome. He placed me on two medications to help with peptic ulcer. No more than two days later, I grew very ill and the specialist opted to conduct an upper and lower endoscopy.
Now, preparing for a complete GI endoscopy is about one of the most humiliating experiences you'll ever put yourself through. The day before the procedure is called Purging Day. And you can probably guess what that means. Starting at 2:00 in the afternoon, you begin taking Fleet Saline Laxative. Instructions ask that you three ounces with your favorite juice. It insists that you do not use soda pop. Well, I thought what the hell, it's all going to come out the same place. I decided to be creative. I took 2 ounces of Grape Gatorade and 2 ounces of Sprite and mixed in the 3 ounces of Fleet saline fluid. Let me tell you a secret. Don't ever use Gatorade in this mix because the sodium content of the Gatorade makes the saline mixture taste nasty; and I mean nasty. And another word of advice: Do not hold your infant son while taking this mixture. On the very last gulp, he tried throwing himself out of my arms (which is normal) and I accidentally enhaled some of the mixture. I was in such a state of coughing and dry-heaving that I thought I was a goner for sure.
Within an hour, you take up residency on your toilet. So if you have any qualms about existing in close proximity to the most unclean object in your house, get over it because you are there until midnight! And midnight is no exaggeration.
The endoscopy is the easiest part of the overall procedure. After registering, I changed into the hospital gown, given an IV, and marched into the operating room where I met the specialist who explained the procedure in more detail. The anesthesiaologist gave put me under and before I knew it I was finished. The only discomfort I had was in my throat, because of the scope.
The upper endoscopy showed two areas of inflammation. A biopsy taken of both areas, however, proved normal.
Symptoms changed in April when I woke up at 2:00 am with chest pains that were radiating up into my neck and down my left arm, nausea, and chills. Now, I'm an avid runner so I was leary that I was having a heart attack. So I held out for awhile. I went to the emergency room the next day. Of course, my heart was fine. But it was the attending physician that suggested that I get the specialist to check my gall bladder.
Nearly one month later, after two more gall bladder attacks, an ultrasound (showed nothing abnormal), and a Hadi scan (which caused all my symptoms to be manifested), I had the gall bladder taken out. And what did they find? The lining of the gall bladder was covered in crystalized cholesterol deposits. (These same type of deposits build up inside the gall bladder and create stones.)
I had a laproscopy procedure, in which they make four small incissions-- two on the lower-right abdomen, one in the belly button, and one just below the right rib cage. I was in recovery just over an hour before two nurses got me up from my bed and walked me around the nurses' station. I have to admit that I felt absolutely sore and far far away. From that point on, I recovered in a lounge chair. And I have been sleeping in one here at home because it hurts too much to sleep the conventional way.
One aspect of the recovery that I like is that I must get up and walk every three hours. Though painful, it has been a great opportunity to strectch and get fresh air.
So Memorial Day has been quite different for me and my family this year. And I'm off here in a few minutes to lay down.
I'm going to leave you with a poem I wrote years ago and re-worked it for this year.
Memorial Day
The sky drops
sun then rain then sun--
it's temperamental.
We stand holding clipped roses,
keeping green thoughts,
sharing memories and retelling
experiences with this reverent
tone as if there is something
reverent in each new telling.
We say the sun is shining because
our soul needs the warmth of it,
a reassurance all is well.
We say the sky cries because
we are crying.
We get out the new brush and cloths,
dust the cobwebs out of your name,
and out of each date.
We scrub the cement base, brush away
what came loose, then admire how
much it looks better than it did before.
Placing the roses under your name
we take in everything, look at the whole
of it. Pause. Honor the living name.
We back away slowly then turn, still
taking in the pieces of you and of us,
not wanting to forget things.
"Isn't it well kept and green?" I say
and for a brief moment it is alright that
we are leaving you here.
8:07:48 PM  | |
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Sunday, May 29, 2005 |
Ismail Merchant’s passing leaves an indelible impression on my waking moments this weekend. It’s odd, really, and it even sounds absurd, but Merchan'ts passing seems that much more tragic in relation to the quality of films that are playing this week. It's as if Fate drew him a card and his influence would be that much more apparent.
Consider this: Take one look at the films playing at the local cineplex this week-- The Longest Yard, Madagascar, Revenge of the Sith, Monster-In-Law, Kicking and Screaming, and House of Wax, to name a few-- and you see the extreme disparity in the quality of film between the popular films playing now and those he produced under the highly successful film studio Merchant Ivory.
Merchant’s passing causes us to reflect on the films he and his lifelong partner and director, Richard Ivory created. And in this reflection, Merchant’s loss appears that much more great. His films appear to represent a golden era of filmmaking that seems gone forever to a litany of films catered to a viewership with the brains and attention span of a gnat. Especially when considering his three most known films, and literally some of my personal favorites – A Room With a View (1986), Howard’s End (1992), and The Remains of the Day (1995) – Merchant and company created films introducing us to themes on the struggle for dignity, class structures, and complex human relationships. Enhanced by brilliant scripts by Ruth Prawer Jhabvala, Merchant’s films were always visual and provocative feasts.
IN fact, I dare say that there was a time when just the mention of Merchant Ivory brought to one’s mind beautiful cinematography, the paragon of the period piece, and Oscar. Roger Ebert, in his eulogy, compiled these numbers:
Merchant productions earned 31 Academy Award nominations, including "best picture" mentions for "Howards End" (1992), "Remains of the Day" (1993) and "A Room With a View" (1985). "The Creation of Woman" (1960), the short film that began his career when he took it to Cannes, was also an Oscar nominee. "Howards End" and "Room With a View" both won as best picture at the BAFTA awards, the "British Oscars."
Merchant passed away while working on their latest film The White Countess, starring Natasha Richardson, Ralph Fiennes and Vanessa Redgrave. Set in 1930s Shanghai, Fiennes plays a blind American diplomat who develops a curious relationship with a young Russian refugee (Natasha Richardson) who works odd, and sometimes illicit jobs in order to support members of her dead husband's aristocratic family.
Sir Anthony Hopkins gave this statement to the BBC in regards to Merchant’s death: "He was the one and truly great maverick producer, a law to himself. He could charm the birds out of the trees, which had its very positive side (most of the time) and sometimes he could get you to work for nothing."
In his introduction to "Film: A Montage of Theories," Richard Dyer McCann quoted the film critic Arnold Hauser as saying "all art is a game with and a fight against chaos. The film that simply says life is chaos is a film which has not undertaken the battle of art."
I can’t help but think that the top-grossing films of the here and now are gleefully created to cater to the chaos crowd because chaos sells, especially if you can sell it behind CGI visual effects (Revenge of the Sith) or J. Lo’s ass (Monster-In-Law).
Only a few filmmakers these days even concern themselves with art. Unfortunately, the artisans have just lost one of their finest champions.
****Roger Ebert’s thoughts on the passing of Merchant can be read here.****
Here is Merchant’s filmography:
"The White Countess" (2005) (producer)
"Heights" (2004) (producer)
"Le Divorce" (2003) (producer)
"The Mystic Masseur" (2001) (director)
"The Golden Bowl" (2000) (producer)
"Cotton Mary" (1999) (director, producer)
"The Proprietor" (1996) (director, producer)
"Surviving Picasso" (1996) (producer)
"Jefferson in Paris" (1995) (producer)
"In Custody" (1993) (director)
"The Remains of the Day" (1993) (producer)
"Howards End" (1992) (producer)
"The Ballad of the Sad Café" (1991) (producer)
"Mr. & Mrs. Bridge" (1990) (producer)
"Slaves of New York" (1989) (producer)
"The Deceivers" (1988) (producer)
"Maurice" (1987) (producer)
"A Room with a View" (1985) (producer)
"The Bostonians" (1984) (producer)
"Heat and Dust" (1983) (producer)
"Quartet" (1981) (producer)
"Jane Austen in Manhattan" (1980) (producer)
"The Europeans" (1979) (producer)
"Hullabaloo Over Georgie and Bonnie's Pictures" (1978)
"Roseland" (1977) (producer)
"The Wild Party" (1975) (producer)
"Mahatma and the Mad Boy" (1974) (director, producer)
"Savages" (1972) (producer)
"Bombay Talkie" (1970) (producer)
"Shakespeare-Wallah" (1965)
9:24:26 PM | |
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Saturday, May 28, 2005 |
It’s been a great pleasure working with and getting to know J. J. Ace, an upcoming published novelist and soon to be discovered screenwriter. And you can just imagine what happens when you get two writers together at lunch or afternoon walk. We talk shop-- he tells me the projects he's working on and I tell him mine. To an outsider, it would be as thrilling as listening to moss grow.
Nontheless, if I’m the first one to write about J.J. Ace on the blog-o-sphere, then I’ll at least be famous for something in my life.
J. J. is a technical writer "with more years of experience than [he] cares to contemplate." And when he is not writing his Toy-Story-like screenplay (which is ingenious by the way) or writing for television or his second novel, he enjoys playing Gamecube with his daughter, putter around in the kitchen, and read.
As I mentioned above, J. J.'s first science fiction/fantasy novel Judgement Day is being published in hardcover this September by TechnoBooks. He's allowed me to include a summary of his book. It's a privilege to introduce you to J.J. Ace. Enjoy.
For Elias, being murdered is just the beginning. Heaven and Hell want his help . . . whether he’s willing to give it or not.
The unlucky "winner" of a celestial lottery after his death, Elias has the role of Forerunner thrust upon him. He’s given the powers of angels and devils in order to cast the thousand-year judgment of what forces rule the world. He must chose Heaven, Hell, or a twisted sort of self-rule for Humankind. But that’s the easy part of the job.
Elias quickly discovers that powerful, ancient forces would sooner the judgment never be made. And the only way to stop the judgment is to erase the Forerunner from existence.
It’s one year until Judgment Day, and Elias may not make it past the first day on the job.
9:56:57 PM | |
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Wednesday, May 25, 2005 |
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You scored as Artistic. Congratulations, you scored Artistic. You're looking for the unique movie in the bunch. You've probably watched a lot of movies that nobody has ever heard of, and good for you. You also know good filmmaking when you see it. You just get it, no questions asked. Check out: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Amelie, Garden State, Lost in Translation.
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Artistic |
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100% |
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Drama/Suspense |
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70% |
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Mindfuck |
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65% |
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Sci-Fi/Fantasy |
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45% |
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Sadistic Humour |
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30% |
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Romantic Comedy |
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25% |
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Mindless Action Flick |
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10% |
Movie Recommendation.
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8:26:42 PM | |
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Tuesday, May 24, 2005 |
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Note: This post was inspired by the shenanigans of the Star Wars: A Tool for Satan website, which included this most ridiculous picture above, (except that I added the Yodaspeak phrase). If you are easily offended, take the pin out of the Holy Hand Grenade and count 1, then 2, then 3 and throw the Holy Hand Grenade at your foe and run for cover! Well, just stop reading already...... |
There was a great disturbance in Heaven after the box office results were released on Monday. Shortly after the numbers for the Revenge of the Sith were posted, showing an impressive record breaking take of $158 million in its first four days, Jesus called a press conference to make a major announcement:
We have been following with great interest, like many of you good people, the two trilogys of Star Wars. More importantly, we’ve been following the box office receipts, trends in conversations of good Christians in and out of the churches, and the heartfelt aspirations of all good people everywhere. Without mincing words, let’s just say that we have been around and know when it’s time for a change. We are very thrilled to announce that from this day forward, the Power of God will now be manifested through the Force, and vice versa. This merger completes us in so many ways–the Jedi outfit is an upgrade, they have great light sabers, they can control weak-minded people, and they know how to raise money quick. Most significantly though, this collaboration strengthens our power-base and gives us great leverage in the soul-conversion market.
In closing, Jesus mentioned that these changes would not effect the staff, religious consultants, or church representatives. "There is definitely no need for down-sizing."
"In all actuality folks," he said, waving his hand in front of him in the spirit of Obi Wan Konobi, "we’re looking for millions of a courageous candidates."
In other highlights, Obi Wan Konobi and Luke Skywalker were named as his newest apostles.
Asked if there would be any new commandments in the upcoming months, Jesus responded: "We’ll be meeting with Yoda and the Jedi Council on the direction of commandments. I mean, we can’t have a commandment about not killing when there are Sith and people who think in absolutes running amok. It simply doesn’t advance our position in the world, does it?"
Mingling with Heaven’s Press Corps and dignitaries of churches and LucasFilms after the press conference, Jesus seemed genuinely thrilled about the changes in Heaven.
St. Augustine, who looked a bit peeved on the back row during the conference, sauntered into our circle to ask Jesus: "And why appoint young Luke Skywalker into our circle?"
"Oh dear Augustine!" Jesus replied. "How many times have I talked to you about envy? You saw how forgiving Luke was to his father in Episode VI! After seeing Darth Vador slaughtering the young Jedi in this last film, well, I don’t know about you but I was angrier than when I stormed the temple and whipped the hell out of those money changers. But Luke has a great ability of seeing the good in even the most evil of souls. Besides, and don’t you dare tell Peter or Paul this, but his schwartz is much bigger."
Oh, and for all of you Obi Wan fans: Jesus told me to pass on the message that Obi Wan is fine. He never lost his head in Episode III. Jesus said that Obi Wan will have to give you all the details about that event later, that is "if you first get into Heaven, and second, get accepted into the School of the Jedi Apostles and Prophets, which is lead by Master High Priest Obi Wan himself."
May the schwartz be with you!
8:02:23 PM | |
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Sunday, May 22, 2005 |
Anyone who follows the boxoffice knows that Lucas and Co. were battling SpiderMan for the biggest weekend gross of all time. And as you know from the title, the teen do-gooder who dresses in blue tights beat out the teen who turned to evil to retain the title. Revenge of the Sith only brought in $108.8 million in its first weekend, which barely surpassed Shrek 2 ($108 million), let alone reach the $115 million of SpiderMan. Yes, this a major defeat.
Sith broke the first four-day ticket sales record, beating out The Matrix Reloaded.
The overall take for Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, however, has reached $158 million. For more information, check out this AP report.
9:06:23 PM | |
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Saturday, May 21, 2005 |
According to the AP today, Sith has broken two boxoffice records:
1. Thursday's 12:00 AM showing on 2,900 screens nationwide brought in $16.5 million dollars. That beat out the Return of the King, from 2003, which had a midnight take of only $ 8 million.
2. Thursday's single day boxoffice take was $50 million dollars on 3,661 screens nationwide. This beat out the previous record by Shrek 2, which brought in $44.8 million.
The next record that Revenge of the Sith is dying to beat is held by SpiderMan. It's the opening three day gross. SpiderMan owns that record, taking in $114.8 million dollars in its opening weekend.
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Thursday, May 19, 2005 |
Mike over at Chew Toys tagged me and I couldn't refuse since I love music so much.
Total Volume Of Music On My Hard Drive: 450 Meg approximately
Last CD Bought: “With Teeth” – Nine Inch Nails
Last CD I Listened To: "Follow Your Heart" -- Mario Frangoulis (One of these days I'll get around to writing a review of this very good CD.)
Before That: “Legion of Boom” – Chrystal Method
Before That: "With Teeth" -- Nine Inch Nails
Last CD I Ran To: "Astronaut" -- Duran Duran
Next CD I Would Love to Own: "Out of Exile" -- Audioslave (BTW: You can listen to the CD in its entirety here.)
Second Choice: "Love. Angel. Music. Baby." -- Gwen Stefani
My Favorite 6 Songs:
“Hollaback: Bananas” - Gwen Stefani
”Collide” – Howie Day
”We Belong Together” – Mariah Carey
”What Happens Tomorrow" - Duran Duran
”Look What You've Done” – Jet
"Don't Phunk With My Heart" --Black Eyed Peas
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Wednesday, May 18, 2005 |
From Ed Harter's Village Voice article, "May the Force Be Over."
Anakin's defection from Jediism to Sithdom should provide the film's
backbone, but neither the script nor Christensen delivers the needed
nuance. "If you are not with me, then you're my enemy," warns the newly
minted Darth Vader to his mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi (the still respectable Ewan
McGregor). "Only a Sith deals in absolutes," Kenobi counters. Attendees at
the New York preview screening responded with cheers, taking the exchange
as a blatant Bush bash, but the line also betrays the failure of Lucas to
portray the elder Skywalker's moral downslide with anything close to
complexity; indeed, the underlying premise of Jedi-Sith duality rests on a
fairy-tale Manichaeanism of unpolluted good versus total evil. Convinced to
join the dark side in hopes of gaining new powers that will save Padmé from
a prophesied death, Anakin thus transforms schizophrenically from
broodingly ambitious knight to bloodthirsty killer once he has crossed the
line. No wonder the film's space battles still echo nothing more modern
than World War II naval combat; the Star Wars cycle remains in a
comfortable fantasyland of melodramatic moral choices and unambiguous
military tactics. The messy asymmetry of 21st-century warfare has no place
in Lucas's retro future.
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If you like snark in your critical reviews, this well written New Yorker review of Revenge of the Sith is for you!
Some of my favorite lines:
"Sith. What kind of a word is that? Sith. It sounds to me like the noise that emerges when you block one nostril and blow through the other...."
"What can you say about a civilization where people zip from one solar system to the next as if they were changing their socks but where a woman fails to register for an ultrasound, and thus to realize that she is carrying twins until she is about to give birth? Mind you, how Padmé got pregnant is anybody’s guess, although I’m prepared to wager that it
involved Anakin nipping into a broom closet with a warm glass jar and a copy of Ewok Babes. "
"The general opinion of "Revenge of the Sith" seems to be that it marks a distinct improvement on the last two episodes, "The Phantom Menace" and "Attack of the Clones." True, but only in the same way that dying from
natural causes is preferable to crucifixion."
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Tuesday, May 17, 2005 |
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You scored as Idealist. Idealism centers around the belief that we are moving towards something greater. An odd mix of evolutionist and spiritualist, you see the divine within ourselves, waiting to emerge over time. Many religious traditions express how the divine spirit lost its identity, thus creating our world of turmoil, but in time it will find itself and all things will again become one.
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Idealist |
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75% |
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Postmodernist |
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69% |
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Modernist |
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56% |
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Cultural Creative |
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56% |
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Materialist |
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56% |
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Romanticist |
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56% |
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Fundamentalist |
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50% |
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Existentialist |
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50% |
What is Your World View? (corrected...hopefully)
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8:02:47 PM | |
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Monday, May 16, 2005 |
It's only fitting that I'm posting my thoughts on yet another review of Revenge of the Sith. I mean, why not? Every one and their dog is talking Star Wars this week anyway. It's premiering at Cannes and they even broadcasted Episode I on television yesterday afternoon.
I was preparing the kids to go to my parent's house when I happened to catch the scene where Annie's mum tells Kai Gwon (Liam Neeson) that she conceived Annie without, you know, having sex. Yep, the immaculate conception.
A flash of memories from seven or eight years ago flooded over me and I burst out laughing. Indeed, I forgot that this was yet another plot surprise I deemed most ridiculous. And the drama of the moment is intensified by a crescendo-ing orchestra. Oh, how I wanted Kai Gwon to look at her with this epiphany-like expression of "Koo-koo koo-koo!" But alas, that explanation seemed to only intrigue him. What a pity, I thought Jedi were smarter than that.
It simply comes down to lazy storyboarding and writing.
If Lucas would have thought more on this, he could have come up with something more viable, maybe could have even foreshadowed the plight of Anakin's future son's teenage life on a desert with no future.
For example: Why couldn't she have been impregnated by her first love? Just think of it: They fell in love, were married in meager surroundings, and were attempting to build a life together out on a small parcel of land in a remote desert region breeding sand crabs when suddenly they were ambushed by hooligans working for the slave trade. He valiantly fought them out in front of the house while she cowered in a makeshift hiding place holding her newborn baby. They killed him and marched them by his broken and bloodied body when they captured them.
Yes, things could have been more fleshed out.
Anyway, I digress. I read Glen Oliver’s fascinating review of Revenge of the Sith last night. Titled "Angst and Inconsistency in a Galaxy Far, Far Away...", Oliver poses an intriguing argument on why these last three installments are so bad, including Sith. Primarily, he believes that there is an erosion of basic fundamental truisms or natural laws that its characters have been made to live by.
I'll leave you with these paragraphs:
Revenge of the Sith is not the "masterpiece" some make it out to be. It is, simply, a far more worthy installment than we've recently been fed. Its currently lofty status is a mirage, induced and perpetuated by the shameless hokum which preceded it. This being said, it should be noted that Sith, perhaps more than any other film in the sextilogy, tries valiantly to be a "real" movie – and often succeeds. But, in doing so, it also forgoes the most fundamental tenets of storytelling.
When creating any universe or mythology, the sky's the limit. People can be any color a creator wants them to be, be from any time or place of the creator's choosing, and do anything a creator wants them to do. The physical laws of our world can be tweaked, suspended, or thrown out completely (e.g., The Matrix). This being said, the overall universe (story) these elements exist still has to make sense unto itself – it still has to be consistent.
Just because we're in "a galaxy far, far away," for example, does not mean that the "laws" of that galaxy...or the intricacies driving stories told in that galaxy...can be ignored. This factor can be applied to any kid of broad-canvassed storytelling: mythology, science fiction, historical romance, etc. For example: on Earth, Superman can fly. But, what if someone came along and told audiences, "Superman can only fly on Tuesdays, even though he flew in last month's comic installment"? It would not make sense, because such rules and limitations had not been previously established or upheld in the Superman mythology. This is the kind arbitrary, sloppy thinking that ultimately dilutes Star Wars: Episode III, and prevents it from becoming all that it could have been.
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Saturday, May 14, 2005 |
Film critic Peter Travers of Rolling Stone has published one of the first major publication reviews of Revenge of the Sith. Let me just tell you upfront that it is not a pretty one, especially when you consider the opening sentence is "Drink the punch."
Am I surprised? No. Nada. No sireee. Nil. Nope. Not in the least.
If you have read my previous posts regarding Revenge of the Sith, you’ll be familiar with the concerns I’ve vocalized:
From my May 7 post titled A Revelation: Fans Taking Over, I talked about one radio critic saying that he had seen the first 45 minutes of the film and said that he’d give this film an A +. I commented that "maybe Lucas pulled his head out and wrote a decent script and instilled in his actors better direction so they don't look like animated cardboard stand-ups!"
And lo and behold, Peter’s review validates my concerns. Consider these paragraphs:
Heralded for its savagery (my God, it's rated PG-13), the film follows Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen -- to merely call him wooden is an affront to puppets everywhere) as he loses his limbs and his conscience and takes on the evil mantle of Darth Vader. But thematic darkness is no excuse for dimness in all other departments, except the visual.
In this heretic's opinion, Sith is a stiff, brought down by that special knack Lucas has of turning flesh-and-blood actors into cardboard cutouts. To hear Anakin and his pregnant wife, Senator Padme (the vivacious Natalie Portman rendered vacant), discuss their marriage -- a secret that could get Anakin defrocked as a Jedi -- is to redefine stilted for a new millennium. The minute any character -- human or droid -- opens a mouth to speak, your eyes glaze over.
But hey, I have to do something in celebration of the release of Revenge of the Sith this week. So, I'm re-posting some of the movie titles I came up with for the film last August when they announced the title of the film.
(Some of these titles I took from other films since Revenge of the Sith seems a ripoff of Revenge of the Nerds anyway.)
NOTE: If you come up with a title, feel free to leave it in the Comments page.
Apocalypse A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away
Annie Flies Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Annie Goes Goth
Annie Without A Cause
Annie Becomes a Dead-beat Dad
Annie Gets Really Mad
The Sith Connection
End of An Empire
Death of a Jedi
Return of Another Mediocre Film But At Least This is the Last One
Crouching Jedi, Hidden Sith
Gone With the Force
Anakin Skywalker and the Master's Light Saber
Princess Amidali and the Seven Jedi
And just for George Lucas:
Star Wars Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Focus on the Special Effects
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Thursday, May 12, 2005 |
Directed by: Joel Schumacher
Written by: Andrew Lloyd Webber and Joel Schumacher
Adapted from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical of the same name.
Starring: Gerard Butler (Phantom), Emmy Rossum (Christine), Patrick Wilson (Raoul), Miranda Richardson (Madame Giry), Minnie Driver (Carlotta), Ciarán Hinds (Firmin), Simon Callow (Andre), Victor McGuire (Piangi), Jennifer Ellison (Meg Giry), Murray Melvin (Reyer), Kevin McNally (Buquet), James Fleet (Lefevre)
When I think of Joel Schumacher’s adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s monstrous hit musical The Phantom of the Opera, I think of dramatic overstatement. Consider the first (and really the most primary) flashback transition, the montage of scenes following right after the raising of the great chandelier. It’s the moment that we are transported back in time thirty years. Knowing we are the eyes of the older Raoul and Meg, we expect a subtle transition befitting their age and aged memories of the old opera house. (See footnote 1 below.)
Instead, Hurricane Andrew blows in to literally blow the cobwebs and dust away, fix broken seats, shine the gold-plated statues, refurbish the stone columns and oil paintings on the dome ceiling. It is a visual spectacle for sure, and probably helped them get Oscar nominations for Art Direction and Cinematography. But, in my opinion, overly dramatic for the circumstances.
(My hopes are that the fan they used to complete this transition is put out on the market! It could come in handy, don’t you think, i.e. "Ooops, honey, there went your bra!" "Whoa, there go my pants!")
Another dramatic overstatement occurs near the end of the song Masquerade. As Raoul and Christine swap spit in the middle of the ballroom floor, with all of the other dancers conveniently leaving them their space, the Phantom suddenly appears at the top of the balcony, dressed all in red. Gasp! Everyone stops what they are doing and pretends to be concerned while they look at him. And then, as the Phantom takes a step down each one of the stairs, this obnoxious beating of a synthesized drum echoes through the opera house. (It nearly created an earthquake under our home theater.) Not only was this effect overly dramatic but the Phantom walked like he had just had a lower endoscopy with a broom handle.
And while we are talking about the Phantom, what was up with him running up the backside of the giant Pegasus statue on the roof in order to scream-sing his revenge on Raoul and Christine. For crying out loud, the entirety of Paris would have heard that!
Other elements I found a bit too dramatic--
- Miss America-like shots of Christine’s face, especially when it is conveniently displaying a Mary Poppin’s-like expression.
- That Emmy Rossum was made up to look and act like Sarah Brightman.
- That Christine seemed drugged whenever she was in the presence of the Phantom, while he was singing. Now, I know how I get when I listen to Mariah Carey, especially when she hits that high note in the stratosphere, but I do not look or act as if I’ve had a frontal lobotomy.
On another topic: The vocal track wasn’t in line during the vocal numbers in many instances. Did these actors actually sing these songs? If so, they were just alright. I doubt anyone will ever forget Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightman in the lead roles.
ON the surface, Joel Schumacher has created a lavish and beautiful adaptation. And for what it is worth, I think Webber’s musical is better on celluloid because they were able to create and define the Phantom’s underground labyrinth under the opera house. I thought the flashbacks showing the caged and abused Phantom boy were useful to the development of his psychological state as well.
Other than this, though, The Phantom of the Opera is entertaining and fun to sing along to. It’s been four days since viewing it and my kids are still walking around the house singing "The Phantom of the Opera....he’s here!"
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TRIVIA: I don’t know if you recognized the choreography to Masquerade but that was none other than a recreation of the choreography for Madonna’s Vogue music video. I wondered, and I didn’t have the time to validate this, if the main dancer in Vogue is the main dancer, choreographer. It sure does look like him. In all, it was nice to see those unique moves on film again.
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AWARDS: Emmy Rossum won a Saturn award for Best Performance by a Younger Actor; won a Broadcast Film Critics Association award for Best Young Actress; and won a National Board of Review award for Best Breakthrough Performance by an Actress. She received other nominations from the Golden Globes, Golden Satellite (International Press Society), and the Online Film Critics Association.
The film was nominated for 3 Oscars, 3 Golden Globes, 11 Golden Satellites, and 2 Broadcast Film Critics awards. It was also recognized with nominations by the Art Directors Guild, Motion Picture Sound Editors Guild, and the Visual Effects Society.
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FOOTNOTE:
1. In Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, it has one of the most amazing transitions. Before the children are to be driven to another one of their relatives’ homes, the caretaker drops them off at the place that used to be their home. They get out of the car, walk up the stairs, and walk into a beautiful entry hall. Then, before our eyes, and theirs, the beautiful hall slowly transforms itself into the ruins left by the devastating fire. It’s a scene in which the whole of the heart of the film rests -- this is the visual representation of the children’s passage from innocence into reality. Masterfully done.
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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 |
Because of my comments regarding my concerns that the dialogue in Revenge of the Sith might be as terrible as those found in Episodes I and II, Mark Hoback of Fried Green Al Qaedas emailed me this article "Attacking the Clones" by Mike D'Angelo, published in this month's Esquire Magazine. It's simply one of the best arguments I've read on why we as paying film-goers should stay away from seeing Revenge of the Sith the first few weeks-- if we go, we are going to hate ourselves for spending the money to see another deplorable, uncreative Star Wars film.
In the comments section for my last post, readers have been pinpointing the fact that films are becoming dumbed down in order to appeal to mainstream movie-goers. And we appease the studios by going out and supporting the trash. D'Angelo creatively describes this fact when he opens his article with this parable:
So this ordinary, middle-class American male walks into a bar. "Gimme a beer, whatever you have on tap," he says, slapping down a fiver. The bartender, smiling, reaches below the bar, audibly unzips his fly, and a moment later produces a tall glass that looks suspiciously as if it might be full of warm urine. But our guy is a trusting soul, and he gulps it down anyway. Big mistake. He retches, curses, and then storms out, furious.
Three years later, the same guy walks into the same bar and asks the same bartender for a beer. No problemo , says the barkeep. Zzzzip . Handed what again looks like something better suited to a specimen jar, the guy barely even hesitates. Down the hatch it goes, and then halfway back up the hatch again. Tears of rage are shed; a lawsuit is threatened. Exit the dude, livid.
Three years later, the same guy walks into the same bar and asks the same bartender for a beer.
You're waiting for the punch line. It's not a joke, I'm afraid. It's a parable. The guy is you, the bar is the neighborhood multiplex, and the third steaming glass of piss you're about to be served with a smile is called Star Wars: Episode III—Revenge of the Sith.
D'Angelo ends off pleading: "For God's sake, don't drink it."
You can read D'Angelo's article here.
You know, I just can't end on this note. I must leave you with one more hilarious quote from D'Angelo. In this paragraph, he lays out his plan for what we can do to stay away from attending the film opening week:
Here's the plan. It's exceedingly simple but also potentially revolutionary. If you saw and genuinely enjoyed the first two installments, by all means dash straight out and see Episode III , taking special care that your imperial-stormtrooper helmet hides the lobotomy scars. If, on the other hand, you found one or both of the previous two films lacking in some way yet feel obligated by a sense of pop-cultural duty and/or lingering nostalgia to tune in for the grand finale: don't. At least not for the first week. See an intriguing foreign film instead, or catch up on the first two seasons of The Wire (the best TV series nobody's watching), or gather like-minded friends and play a drinking game in which you watch Attack of the Clones and do a shot every time Hayden Christensen pouts. Do whatever it takes; just avoid the theater for seven days. And tell every single person you know to do likewise.
In the first Star Wars film, Obi Wan Konobi and Luke have been stopped by Imperial guards. As the guards approach his side of their landcruiser, Obi Wan waves his hand and says "These aren't the droids you're looking for."
Yes, if Sith indeed is as terrible as D'Angelo fears, I can just see a viable entertainment cartoon going something like this: As a throng of angry filmgoers swarm the landcruiser, Obi Wan raises his DVD copies of the first Star Wars trilogy and screams "These are the films you should be looking for!"
May the force be with you!
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Monday, May 09, 2005 |
Over the weekend, I watched the DVDs National Treasure, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, and The Phantom of the Opera.
National Treasure, starring Nicolas Cage was fun, mixing historical locations and artifacts with a plotline straight out of Indiana Jones.
I want to write up a formal review of The Phantom of the Opera. It's not that I loved the film but I did find some elements of it that, in my opinion, made this musical a better film than a stage show.
Because of health reasons, I've not been out to see a film in a very long while. I've wanted to see Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Crash, Kingdom of Heaven, Millions, and Downfall. One of these fine days.
In closing, there has been alot of press written about the terrible slump hitting the boxoffice this year. Well, I have a few prognostications about this: 1) The cost of getting the family to the cineplex, a.k.a, gas prices, and the increase of other prices because of this is keeping families home to save money for summer vacations. 2) People are looking forward to the release of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. If it is as good as many minor film critics are saying, people are going to be flocking to this film two or three times. They need money to do this. And 3) Maybe the films released so far this year have simply been uninteresting. For example, the movie XXX. It's not that I dislike Ice Cube, or think he is a mediocre actor. This sequel lacks interest because of one element-- Vin Diesel, Mr. XXX, is not in it! And the film Kingdom of Heaven? Forget that Roger Ebert believes this is better than Scott's previous blockbuster Gladiator, some critics are thinking the film just doesn't appeal to people right now. They ask: "Who wants to see a war film about the Crusades between Christians and Muslims?" It's too Reality TV-like right now.
Anyway, some thoughts on a Monday night.
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Saturday, May 07, 2005 |
The release of the last film in the Star Wars franchise is drawing nigh. Boy, after sitting through the extremely lackluster Episodes 1 and 2, I have to admit that I'm leary of Revenge of the Sith.
(I've heard critics on the popular radio morning shows the past two weeks saying they've seen the first 45 minutes of the film and it's an A+ in their book so maybe Lucas pulled his head out and wrote a decent script and instilled in his actors better direction so they don't look like animated cardboard stand-ups!)
This morning, I discovered an excellent article on Slate titled "May the Force Be With You: Why Fans Make Better Star Wars Movies," written by Clive Thompson. In the article, he talks about the group of fans that have joined together to create or recreate Star Wars films, right down to suprisingly professional visual effects.
 Here are the opening paragraphs:
Good news, Star Wars buffs. There's a new movie out this spring—and it isn't by George Lucas. The 40-minute, fan-made Star Wars Revelations cost a mere $20,000. It's also just as good as—and often quite better than—the cringe-inducing Star Wars movies of recent years. Indeed, it's so artistically successful that it suggests a radical idea: Maybe Lucas should step aside and let the fans take over.
Our most cherished sci-fi franchises are in a creative trough. Lucas' movies have spiraled into unwatchability; Paramount has so exhausted its ideas for Star Trek that it's folding up its tent and going home. The fans, in contrast, still give a damn: The director of Revelations, Shane Felux, is clearly more knowledgeable about the strengths and weaknesses of the material than Lucas himself. Felux's movie retains the funky vibe of the original Star Wars, down to the kitschy, '70s-style wipes, the obligatory scene in an alien bar, and Darth Vader's throat-choking technique. Better yet, it jettisons Lucas' most loathed innovations—neither Jar Jar Binks nor any Ewoks make an appearance. Fans may be pointy-headed and obsessed with useless trivia, but they have excellent bullshit detectors.
In order to get you over there to read this, I'm not posting the links to download site for Star Wars Revelations. You'll have to go there to get them. But so you know, I'm going to download this and watch it.
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Thursday, May 05, 2005 |
In April, my poem Plotting Escape was selected with two other poems to represent Mipoesias at the IBPC monthly poetry contest. I didn't win but it was a thrill just being selected to represent the international group of writers at Mipo.
Note: The ending that I'm including on this version was not part of the poem that went to IBPC. But I'm adding it on here because I just love the idea of The Fates. Studying the Classics at university can be blamed.
Plotting Escape
I plot. The moment my owners' eyes
turn away I will run through
the yard under the fence. Across
the park and across the street I’ll hide
in the open field. Plan freedom’s course --
Tomorrow, run to the edge of the horizon
where mountain and sky meet at a point.
Chase the sun into its hole. Steal
a finger of its fire for night. Keep it in
the hollow of a Joshua nearby and sleep
under thickets of desert sage.
Don’t stir 'til the wild rooster breaks morning
silence. Do not even open your eyes 'til
the sun peaks its bright head out
of its eastern hole, itself looking
for escape.
Your days are of your own making.
Nibble on earth’s natural delicacies -- wild
rye, bluestem, bottlebrush, sweetgrass--
and drink the dew from any blade.
Chase lizards and squirrel just for fun.
Nap anywhere under sky’s blue dome.
And if by chance a fox hunts
use native rabbit magic. Cast spells --
play dead with rotting flesh, transform
into an old woman cooking stew, become
a wise medicine man, then run circles
round a dead tree. Make the fox believe
you are the tree and watch him chew you
down believing you are the dry bark and wood.
Giggle yourself to sleep and dream-– Find
the Fates. Thank them. For you are alive
today and you are free.
(c) Michael Parker. March 2005.
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Wednesday, May 04, 2005 |
There simply are not adjectives strong enough nor harsh enough to describe the Cambodian faction, Khmer Rouge, that gained control in 1975 and its leader Pol Pot.
Today, type the word "genocide" and you see fresh reports of Darfur and Rwanda. But it was the Khmer Rouge who marched through Cambodia, one by one emptying villages and cities of its people. It is estimated that the minimum loss of life is around the 1.5 million mark.
TIME magazine penned it appropriately: this is "one of the century's greatest massacres."
TIME compiled a disturbing but important photo journal titled "The Legacy of Pol Pot: A Photographic Record of Mass Murder" that shows the mass graves from the "killing fields," the high school that was transformed into a modern day Auschwitz where men, women, and children were photographed and then executed, and anonymous pictures of those who were photographed and murdered. The look on these peoples faces leaves one without a shadow of a doubt that they knew their end was imminent.
Many might read this and say "Why in hell would I want to view these pictures?" For the same reason that if we ever were placed in the same situation, we would hope someone would not turn away the opportunity of looking into our eyes, recognize us as human – place a face to the horror – and remember us.
Last week, I introduced you to the poet Christopher T. George. He recently wrote a fascinating poem titled The Ghosts of Cambodia that I wanted to share with you.
Chris wrote the poem after reading an article in the Washington, D.C. Examiner several months ago. He said he was moved by the story about how the skulls from Pol Pot regime’s victims were being put in a ruined school by local policemen near Tonle Bati Lake. George later researched and found that there were Angkor Wat-like ruined temples near the lake which led him to adding the opening stanza about the ancient temple.
George explained: "I feel that the old tragedy and the new tragedy speak to each other and amplify the loss and the pain."
The Ghosts of Cambodia
The old farmer takes us to a temple splashed
with magenta bougainvillea; a carving shows
a royal horse trampling a king's unfaithful
wife to death. Below, a saronged woman
offers rice and plum wine to the dead.
A ruined school is now a shrine stacked
with skulls rescued from the fields;
offerings of fruit and cups of water sit
in the door. He says, "Where the skulls lay
in the fields, they became soft and smelly.
"The water buffalo began to eat them.
If we hadn't gone and collected them,
the buffalo might have eaten them all.
"Nightly, the spirits of the dead startle
us as they call out, ‘Bring us water,
it’s so hot and crowded in here!’
Still their spirits cry out, taunt us."
(c) Christopher T. George. Published with author's permission.
Christopher T. George was born in Liverpool, England in 1948 and first emigrated to the United States with his parents in 1955. He now lives in Baltimore, Maryland, near Johns Hopkins University with his wife Donna and two cats. Chris’s poetry has been published in Poet Lore, Lite, Maryland Poetry Review, Smoke, and Bogg, and online at Crescent Moon Journal, Electric Acorn, Melic Review, Painted Moon Review, Pierian Springs, the poetry (WORM), Triplopia, and Web Del Sol Review. Chris is the Editor of Desert Moon Review http://www.desertmoonreview.com/. He has his own personal poetry site at http://chrisgeorge.netpublish.net/index.htm
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Monday, May 02, 2005 |
Once upon a great time, speaking in the range of millions of years ago, oceans and inland seas covered most of the earth. Through the centuries, these seas have dried and their seabeds have become great deserts. One such desert is the Wadi Hitan in Egypt. And this week, the Wadi Hitan made international news.
Geologist Philip D. Gingerich and his team discovered the first known "complete" skeleton of one of the earliest known whales, the Basilosaurus isis. The Basilosaurus is 50-feet-long and estimated to be 40-million years-old.
The National Geographic highlighted this find, describing the Basilosaurus:
The first of the truly gigantic whales, Basilosaurus had the serpentine shape of a sea monster and short, sharp teeth for hunting sharks and other prey. Unlike today's whales, it had no blowhole—the ancient behemoth had to raise its head above water to breathe. What's more, Basilosaurus still had the feet it inherited from its land-dwelling ancestors,
Wadi Hitan, which means "Valley of Whales," teemed with sea-animals. The University of Michigan article on this latest find reported that the Wadi Hitan "included five species of whales, including the Dorudon atrox, presently exhibited in the University of Michigan Exhibit Museum. There are also three species of sea cows (Sirenia), two crocodiles, several turtles, and a sea snake, in addition to a large number of fossilized sharks and bony fishes."
The U of M article shows a skeletal representation of the whale. You can see graphic by reading "U-M team recovers ancient whale in Egyptian desert."
A few days ago, I introduced you to one of my favorite contemporary poets, Pris Campbell. This week, she was impressed to write about the discovery of the whale in the middle of the Wadi Hatin. She has given me permission to print her exceptional poem here for your review. (Thank you Pris!)
Song of the Wadi Hatin
Prone on the hot white sands
of the Wadi Hitan,
I slide my arms up and down
making angel wings.
The dust storm still looms;
a large grey powderpuff on the horizon.
Soon it will sweep past me to Cairo,
that jeweled lady sprawled by the roving Nile.
Men and women will cover their faces.
Cats will hide beneath buildings.
Windows will take weeks of polishing
to come clean.
Deep in the sands beneath me, a whale cries.
For forty million years he has yearned
to be heard, he tells me. His flesh
has melted. His teeth are scattered
like broken pearls. His last meal
of fresh shark meat has long been digested.
He laments the loss of his ocean
and friends to hunt with when nights are cool.
Unlike the Pharaohs, Cleopatra,
and the Great Pyramids, he, alone,
has been forgotten, he says.
I don't make whale sounds, so
I can't tell him he wasn't forgotten,
can't ask what song he sang those
fourteen and more thousands of years ago;
the song that could break someone's heart
and inspire turbaned men resting
here at this spot on camel-back
to name this place Wadi Hitan-
Valley of Whales.
Instead, I scheherazade him images
of high tumbling waves, fat sharks waiting
to be eaten, giant squid drifting under
moonless nights good for hunting.
A whale swimming free.
I hear him sigh a sigh of contentment.
The desert sleeps.
(c) Pris Campbell. 2005. Published with author's permission.
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