Day of Death
I had a horrible experience today. I witnessed something of the most horrific kind. The day started out bad and it just got worse. As you know I've been feeling a bit misanthropic lately. Not only has that feeling been made worse now but I'm also the bestowed owner of an unintended memory that will remain for all of my days. I have been made "older" now. Though I have aged only twenty-four hours, I'm more cynical now. I distrust people a little bit more. I'm more jaded than a day before.
I'll start from the beginning with two facts. My wife and I have no children and not by choice. So we have cats. I've always pictured old ladies with cats (you know, long after I'm gone) to paint a pathetic picture of "what could have been" reduced to the reality of austere loneliness and life long regret and self pity. But that's another story.
Second, I'm what many of you might call a guy's guy. Meaning, I can be rude, sometimes uncaring and definitely one to whom not a lot "gets to". A pretty big bastard in some minds. I never cry, ever. I can't remember the last time I cried. Some of you may be thinking that that's pretty pathetic in its own right.
If you are in any way a pet or animal lover or you're just fed up with rich's crap now's a good time to hit the BACK button. Because what follows isn't pretty and it doesn't turn out any better.
I was getting off from work at the old PACOM today at 13:00. It was the heat of the day in these tropic latitudes. The sun was blazing having broken through after a morning downpour. There is a major intersection at the base of Halawa Heights and as I neared I could make out some sort of disruption in that intersection. A black SUV was stopped seemingly mid intersection. As I grew closer the SUV drove on.
I came to a halt at the red light. That's when I saw it. A wee tiny kitten. Couldn't have been bigger than my adjoined fists flailing, nay flopping in the middle of the intersection. It had obviously just been struck by an automobile. I could see the terror in his little eyes as he unsuccessfuly attempted to get clear of the onrushing traffic. But he had been paralyzed in his hindquarters by the impact. He was pulling himself this way then that by its front paws over the scorching asphalt dragging his lifeless hind legs behind him. As I rolled my window down. I could hear his pitiful desperate mewling.
People passed by, slowing, rolling down windows to gawk at the flailing kitten on the scorching asphalt only then to accelerate, seemingly not wanting to be a further witness this kitten's agony.
I signaled the car behind me and pointed to the strickened kitten. Then pulled my pickup into the intersection (against the light) and stopped just short of the little ball of fur. The traffic light now turned green and the woman behind me honked her horn, annoyed that I was now impeded her progress to whatever respectively meaningless agenda to which she was so appointed.
I gave her one of those looks - you know the kind - "If you honk at me one more time you compassionless bitch I'm going to throw my tire iron through your windshield" - kind of looks. She swerved and went around me tires squealing.
One of those huge concrete trucks pulled to a halt and then turned sideways when I pointed to the kitten in the middle of the intersection in order to block further traffic (thanks brah whoever you were. You are who I like to think of when I say Hawaiian.)
The panicked kitten tried to bite me as I tried to rescue him. Non-plussed (by many vetererinary visits by unobliging felines) I merely grabbed him up by his scruff and placed him in my truck. His underhair was melted and his belly was scorched. In obvious agonizing pain the kitten mewed pitifully. Off we went to the emergency vet. I had already decided half way there that I'd spend a maximum of ten thousand dollars on this cat - I am a guy's guy and this was just one little kitten. There are enough cats in the world, yes?
The vet x-rayed him then promptly euthanised him. I told you - this didn't get any better.
I sat out front of the vet's in my big manly pickup truck and I just bawled. Not cried like a ten year-old with a skinned knee but cried for mankind's and animal kind's suffering. Cried because it seemed that I was the only person that in that moment had the least bit of compassion for this suffering little animal. Cried because for all you rat bastards that didn't find it convenient to render aid to the true epitome of innocence (and you know who you are) I'm truly, sorry. You'll never grasp the notion of what is truly good and right in this our human experience.
I could equate this experience to some higher allegorical purpose. Perhaps to explain in my small way why the Saddam's of this world exist. But that is for the more existentially scholarly's explanation. All I know for sure is that the Easter kitten is dead. Talk about a crappy day. I'm emotionally drained. This blog won't be getting the obligatory "spell check". Sorry in advance. I'm pau.
6:56:19 PM 
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