Sometimes the poor old rich rolls out on the wrong side of his bed. Sometimes he just stumps his toe or something else because he hasn't walked the same way as his other thousand times after waking up.
Now let's all switch back to first-person writing because the rich is still here.
If Sundays aren't always fun, then there must be something wrong. Here's what cracked me up on this Sunday.
I'm sorry. This is just one of my many other multiple part stories.
I don't mean to jump on the Pepperidge Farm company because this company creates some really delicious things. Sometimes I thought that on top of everything else they also just make me laugh. What a perfect way to start any day. They aren't alone either and of course you're all aware of just these things...
I call myself a chef. Look out folks! Don't refer to me as a "cook". If you insist, I'll hand you the common spatula and say something like, "Just flip the eggs for someone's breakfast - boy."
No, the fun part for the majority of food buyers and users and eaters who all shop in any grocery store stories will continue.
Of course any of us love to prepare apple turnovers for our friends. Either start preparation of a crust with flour or perhaps more likely just get some turnovers out of your freezer from a good company like Pepperidge Farm. I swear the preparation instruction located on every box said something like, "Pre-heat oven to 450° before removing this product from the freezer."
This HTML term; (ROFL) means "rolling on floor laughing" because I instantly realized that I as nearly everyone have "fucked up". We couldn't follow the instructions because both your and my x-ray vision has failed. I don't know. In my "emergency" I could have gotten that package back into my own freezer just in the nick of time...
I'm going to halt with part two because I might hurt myself laughing. Here we go anyway.
When I go to any grocery for milk to put on someone's morning cereal I always gaze at the expiration date on any cheap milk carton's top flap. Oh yeah, I'm the nasty guy that always buys the milk from the cartons in the rear row. Why? Don't you all know? Who's the idiot? I or the grocers who line them up in that distinct way?
My own mate the Richenatrix was out shopping (as always) the other day. This mate insisted that (among others) Planter's "Famously Fresh" sunflower kernels contained a high amount of potassium which is a chemical that is good for my mere brain. Terrific. I'm all for that one. Ya know, I covered that chocolate titled thing a little bit back. Okay, I'm a sexist but women eat chocolate more than men do. I know that I sound ridiculous but men generally eat and then spit sunflower shells for some reason. I don't know why. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Maybe I have a feminist side? We all do - as each other's reverse. Sometime in my life a seller built a device to de-shell the sunflower kernels and put their results in a bottle for sale. Halleluiah.
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