Osama the Pooh
The more it snows - tiddly pom
The more it snows - tiddly pom
The more it goes - tiddly pom
The more it goes - tiddly pom
On snowing
And nobody knows - tiddly pom
And nobody knows - tiddly pom
How cold my toes - tiddly pom
How cold my toes - tiddly pom
Are growing.
Is Osama bin Laden a better student of history than we are? I am starting to wonder. I have this vision of him sitting in some bunker somewhere with a white board or perhaps a notebook computer working on his excel spreadsheet for how to take over the world.
He scrolls down to an item that says, Pax Americana = Pax Islamia
He adds a check into the 'done' column. Maybe he chuckles softly. Somehow it sounds like muhahaha to me.
In his memoirs before his death in 2034 he was asked to reveal the strategy that took a rag tag group of sorry ass towel heads and turned them into a force that brought down the largest world power of its time. My mind leaps ahead to some imaginary interview with IOX news somewhere in the future.
Supreme Ruler of the World. Tell your loyal followers how you brought down the Yankee Imperialist Dogs?
Well, the plan was quite simple really. I wanted to suck America into trying to insinuate themselves into the middle east. Iraq would be nice. I never did like Saddam anyway. He was a secular heathen who never really did know how to make nice.
The thing is that no matter how primitive I looked at the time, I had a nice DSL connection to the internet and while I did not do very well in some things in school, I did learn how to surf the web.
I found this document called "Rebuilding America's Defenses" on one of my surfing expeditions. I almost dismissed it as some kind of parody until I realized that it was on the list of Donald Rumsfeld's internet favorites.
Once I had read it, it was pretty easy to see how a strategic strike would lead them into the cesspool that the colonial powers had created when they arbitrarily and capriciously drew boundaries on their maps of our homelands.
Given their sense of entitlement and smug superiority I pretty much figured that they would have to react in some macho gung ho way. Of course it helped that Mr. Bush had to keep his promise to pay off his supporters with that big tax cut. Once he had lost control of the money his guys would never agree to schlep some back when he ran out of ammo. And I was right. It was not rocket science.
Do you mean to tell us that they had their whole strategy laid out in the open for anyone to see?
Well, it does seem pretty silly in retrospect I guess. But, yes. I have to admit that I nearly spewed my tea a mile when I saw that Geraldo guy get kicked out of his insertion group when he drew that map in the sand. Allah works in mysterious ways I guess.
I could Google with the best of them. All I had to do was get to the PNAC home page and there it was - the second item on their navigation bar. It was not very subtle I remember. I think it said “Iraq”. They had a time line going back all the way to 1997 or so if I remember correctly. They had eight years to sit around and come up with a plan for global domination during the reign of Slick Willie.
I did not really even have to do any stirring of the pot. After Mr. Bush called Mr. Kim a pygmy, and mentioned the word “crusade” in his emotional appeal to the American public I pretty much figured it was in the bag.
Of course, it did help that he failed to mention that this had been his intention long before our freedom fighters took out the symbol of western degeneracy, the World Trade Center. Once the major news outlets put two and two together that helped. Hypocrisy in a leader is not an attractive quality.
(with apology to A. E. Milne. In this case the snow has job implied)
*this post is meant as political satire. The Homeland Security forces will find no WMD on my property.
4:20:13 AM 
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