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QUEEN SHOCKED BY HUMAN TOUCH / NEEDS THERAPY
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Queen Elizabeth was completely shocked by Michelle Obama's friendly touch at a palace reception ~ which brought horrified gasps from the British Press, bemusement from Prince Philip and benign indifference from most Americans: Allen L Roland
Etiquette is quite stern about meeting the Queen of England and the cardinal rule is always Don't touch the Queen !!
After all the Queen is a national symbol of the once great glory of England and is worth millions, if not billions of dollars or pounds, even though her loyal subjects are mired in a deepening recession ~ going on Depression.
The Queen was obviously somewhat shocked when Michelle placed her hand on her back and shoulder during a reception and is rumored to be undergoing therapy for this blatant breach of royal protocol.
So where does this rule about not touching the Queen come from?
HOWARD CHUA-EOAN of Time explains " The sovereigns of England and France at some point in their nations' long histories claimed a divine right to rule, a right often amplified by titles bestowed by the Pope in Rome. (The Queen, in fact, still has the title Defender of the Faith, an honor given to Henry VIII before he broke with the Catholic Church and established the Church of England.) That touch of holiness once gave the occupant of the throne the supposed ability to cure certain diseases - most famously, scrofula, a terrible skin ailment that was called "the king's evil." Thus, the miraculous contact had to be conserved. And so, whether a touch or a nod or a gaze, royal favor, like that of God, is not a subject's on demand; it is dispensed by kingly prerogative."
Because of my extensive contacts in the United Kingdom I was able to obtain a copy of the Queen's diary entry regarding the Obama visit. Be aware, that this was seen and scribbled hurriedly by a royal chamber maid who then passed it on to a royal footman who then gave it to the royal gardener who then passed it on to the royal garbage collector who then gave it to my contact who made it available, by fax, to myself ~ after fighting his way through the rioting and angry G20 protestors in the streets of London.
Dear Diary
I am in such a terrible state of shock tonight. A commoner touched me inappropriately, in a public reception , no less, and I could hear an audible gasp go through the room. Although the commoner was Michelle Obama, America's first lady, she obviously breached royal protocol and I almost screamed a profanity at her ~ like I do with Philip when he tries to do the same thing. But I digress ~
Fortunately I caught myself and recovered and tried to be polite ~ but I was mortified by her impudence ! Who does she think I am ~ one of her black friends ~ I'm the queen of England and I won't soon forget this affront ~ Philip, of course, was bemused by the whole incident and laughed to himself all the way back to the castle ~ " What did you expect, Lillibet ~ they're commoners and American, no less ~ such fun, indeed, we must have them over more often," he teased. Sometimes I just hate him !
As shocked as I was, and after talking to the royal therapist ~ I felt a curious sense of connectedness with Michelle ~ it's been so long since I've been touched ~ quite a new experience ~ but maybe it's just spring.
Allen L Roland
Freelance Alternative Press Online columnist and psychotherapist Allen L Roland is available for comments, interviews, speaking engagements and private consultations ( allen@allenroland.com )
Allen L Roland is a practicing psychotherapist, author and lecturer who also shares a daily political and social commentary on his weblog and website allenroland.com He also guest hosts a monthly national radio show TRUTHTALK on www.conscioustalk.net
Cartoon courtesy of Pat Oliphant / Washington Post
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