Dr. Omed's Tent Show Revival
featuring Dr. Omed's Patented Oil of Prosody and the dancing Elders of the Seventh Day Atheist Aztec Baptist Synod. Fair and Balanced since 8/14/03 00:12AM GMT
Last updated:
5/2/2007; 8:25:49 PM


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Sunday, February 29, 2004

POEM OF THE DAY    THE GREAT BEAR


7:01:25 PM    comment []

DR. OMED’S SUNDAY SERMON:  GAY MARRIAGE IN THE OLD TESTAMENT

 

I can almost hear the members of my e-congregation chorus as one: “Wait-one-gosh-darn-minute, Dr. Omed, there ain’t no gay marriage in the Bible!  Au contraire, pilgrims and seekers.  Shall we examine the text of 1 Samuel 18?  Young David has just slain Goliath in battle with the Philistines.  He has just met King Saul and his son Jonathan for the first time:

 

And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.


And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father's house.  (Like a new bride?)


 Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.


 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.

 

 1 Samuel 18:1-4

 

If you don’t want to call the covenant between Jonathan and David marriage, call it a civil union.  However, later in the chapter Saul gives his daughter Michal in marriage to David, and makes a curious remark:

 

Wherefore Saul said to David, Thou shalt this day be my son-in-law a second time.

1 Samuel 18:21

 

The only child of King Saul’s other than Michal with which David has a contracted relationship—is Jonathan.  Saul’s words certainly imply that he regarded David as already married to Jonathan.

 

Later, when Saul and Jonathan are killed, David sings a lament:

 

I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.

 

It seem that at least one instance of same sex… civil covenant between two of the Lord’s Anointed was condoned and even approved by no less an authority than the King of Israel.

 

Fundy FactsTM

 

Did you know:

 

Of the patriarchs in the Old Testament, only Issac(Gen 25-28)had just one wife reported, with no concubines mentioned.

Abraham(Gen 25:6) was fairly conservative, limiting himself to one wife and several concubines.

Jacob(Gen 30) had 2 wives and 2 concubines.

King David(1 Chr 24:3) had 6 or more wives and 10 or more concubines (Not to mention his husband, Jonathan).

Rehoboam(2 Chr 11:21) had 18 wives plus 60 concubines.

Studly King Solomon (2 Kings 11:3) had 700 wives plus 300 concubines. King Solomon also flouted the ban on intermarriage, and "loved many strange women" including at least one Egyptian, several Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, and Hittites. (1 Kings 11:1;14:21)

 

Next week: Jesus’ twin brother Thomas

 


6:31:22 PM    comment []

Dr. Omed received this sight unseen review of the Passion of the Christ from Steve Raker:

The Passion of Jesus Bloody Jesus is the best movie.  I useta think that Jesus suffered a lot, but now I think that he suffered about double that much which is really a lot, so now I love him twice as much.  And you will too if you see that movie.  It's twice as good.  The Romans didn't want to do it, the Jews made 'em.  Which makes sense, if ya think about it.  My girlfriend's Mom said that one guy(not Jesus) gets his eyeballs eaten by a bird.  It's rated 'R' I think, but not because of boobs 'n stuff, just lots of beating and whipping and stabbing, which is good if you want to take the kids.  Kids shouldn't see boobs.      Steve

Pilgrims and Seekers, put your Ouija board under your keyboard and slip on a blindfold, and let the Holy Spirit guide your fingers.  Cloven tongues as of fire (Acts 2:3) will come and sit on your heads, and you will testify.


11:27:58 AM    comment []



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