Monday, September 27, 2004

DR. OMED'S MISSION TO THE PUNDITS: MORASS   Dr. Omed notes that pro-war punditry at large has objected to the use of the word “morass” in reference to the current situation in Iraq. They regard it as an antique term reverberating with unhelpful connotations from the Vietnam War. It’s so Seventies.   The American occupation of Iraq deserves an enlarged vocabulary to describe it in its fullness. As a public service, Dr. Omed would like to suggest some alternative words and phrases. Instead of a morass, call it   A mire A cesspool A tarpit A sand trap with a real bad lie   A charnel house An abattoir An artificial limb salesman’s wet dream   A sinkhole A black hole Toadies in the hole The spider hole of Democracy A hole with a lotta shakin’ goin’ on The pie hole of an angry Allah Another Bush with a dry hole A three hole shitter sitting on quicksand   Bill and Dick’s Not So Excellent Adventure A disaster that’s not waiting to happen RPGs 'R' US   Anarchy on a stick Neocon shake and bake An extra large bag of Haliburton brand pork rinds A load of MREs with puke jerky An order of Crow Nuggets with French Fries (Would you like to supersize that?)   Haliburton’s honey wagon Colin Powell’s Foggy Bottom A little dab of Dubya Osama’s own petrie dish Texas on the Euphrates   The Mother of All Deep Doo Doo Ground Zero East Desert Shit Storm A whole lotta pants on fire A real Bush burner What’s worth two in the Bush A multi-passenger handbasket in the commuter lane to Hell   OR   The Elephant’s Graveyard   Dr. Omed welcomes additional suggestions from faithful pilgrims. Send words and phrases to help the pundits and recieve the blessing of His Loveliness the Pope (SDAABS). 5:53:54 PM    comment []