Saturday, May 14, 2005

DR. OMED'S LATE NITE SERMONETTE: UTICA SQUARE SYNAGOGUE 10C FACADE, TULSA, OK THE TEN COMMANDMENTS VARIATIONS The Ten Commandments have become an issue of controversy between the faith-based red insurgency and, well, all the sane people in America. As His Loveliness the Pope, the Reverend and Dr. Omed, of the Seventh Day Atheist Aztec Baptist Synod, I am issuing a challenge to all pilgrims and seekers, and fellow bloggers of any ilk. Write your own ten commandments. Taking my inspiration from the physicist Leo Szilard, I have written my own as you see below. As these ten are not immutably written in stone by the Finger of God, but rather pulled out of my ass when I sat down to write this, I may revise this set or create a new and different Decalogues as I please. I’m not looking for originality necessarily, crib from whatever sources you like, check out the two versions of the original ten in the book of Exodus and Deuteronomy in the Old Testament. Be your own lawgiver. Join the ranks of Hammurabi, Moses, Solon, and that Al Capone of Deities, Jehovah Himself. Play God. I’m sure you can do a better job of it than any slicing and dicing chapter and verse bible throwing Evangelical.   TODAY'S TEN:   1—First, do no harm.   2—Love the one you’re with.   3—Love yourself. This is harder than you think. I’m not talking about solipsistic self idolatry. I’m talking about having forgiveness, lovingkindness, and compassion for yourself as well as others. You are your own judge, jury, and executioner. Have mercy.   4—Bless everyone and everything you cannot love, since this is usually the only thing you can do for them, the only grace you can give. As Graham Greene put in the mouth of one of his characters, "You only bless what you cannot love."   5—Try not to offend anyone, except when you intend to give offense. “A gentleman (or lady) is someone who never gives offense unintentionally.” I can’t remember whether Lord Chesterfield or Oscar Wilde said that.   6—As you treasure your own solitude and privacy, protect the privacy and solitude of others.   7—Make art out of whatever you lay hands on. Make art out of things other people throw away. Create an art that never existed before you discovered it. This is the birthright your Paleolithic forebearers laced into your genes. It is a sin not to use it.   8—Don’t be mean. Or greedy. Or wasteful. These three go together like St. Paul’s “faith, hope, and charity.” I know our current culture is pretty much based on that first trio rather than the latter, but do the best you can.   9—Betrayal is an inescapable condition of human existence. I’ve done it unto you, you’ve done it unto me, we’ve done unto them, they’ve done it unto us…and so on and so forth. In spite of justifiable and rational paranoia about the possibility of betrayal in any relationship, you must not lose the ability to trust people. This requires a leap of faith, which is to say you must act like you believe something you know to be untrue. This leads to 9a: Don’t lie to yourself, and don’t lie a lot to other people, either, you lose track of the truth that way. Sometimes it leads to a new religion.   10—Pray for grace. I don’t mean petitioning a personal god for an undeserved boon. I don’t believe in god.  I mean something like doing Tai Chi while singing Amazing Grace to the tune of House of the Rising Son, or some other act of tuning oneself to the universe, both as instrument and actor, like a string player getting ready to play a part in a Bach concerto. 2:03:20 AM    comment []