Thursday, May 04, 2006

DR. OMED ASKS:   IS OUR VICE A DICK? and other questions   (1) Which do you think is a better nickname for the Vice President: Dead Eye Dick; or The Dick Who Couldn’t Shoot Straight?   (2) Should Vice President Cheney have his sneer corrected by cosmetic surgery?   (3) Or do you think he should have collagen injections to enhance it?   (4) Do you think the Vice President would get more respect at press conferences and public appearances if he wore a camo suit and carried a shotgun to the podium?   (5) Next Christmas will people give our Vice Dick, as a “gag” gift, those strings of shotgun shell Christmas tree lights available at Bass Pro Shops USA?   (6) Have you ever wondered whether anybody on the Secret Service detail that has to guard the Vice President has ever wished that Cheney’s pacemaker had a big knob that could be turned all the way up to OVERLOAD?   (7) If Cheney worked for Tony Blair, would he be in charge of the Ministry of Swaggers and Rude Gestures?   (8) Imagine that you are member of a Ms. Manner’s Star Chamber tribunal: Would you vote to have all of Dick Cheney’s fingers, except for the middle ones, amputated?   (9) Does the Vice President keep his conscience in an undisclosed location in case President Bush has a sudden, unforeseen attack of scruples?   (10) If Cheney is subpoenaed to testify before a grand jury, would it be fair and balanced to use the headline: BUSH’S DICK IN A VICE? 7:20:29 PM    comment []