Wednesday, August 02, 2006

DR. OMED HAS A CLARIFYING MOMENT     HIS LOVELINESS THE POPE Last week, as I listened to what was hitting the fan on the other side of the world come spewing out of the radio on the desk in my windowless cubicle in Hell, I made a noise, evidently a really pitiful noise, a whimper or well heaved sigh. My coworker, who is a decent if unimaginative guy, said “Oh, Dana, it’ll be OK.” I, who am an indecent but imaginative guy, replied “Oh, no it won’t. We’re stupid and greedy, we’re going to destroy civilization, and we’re all going to die.” And I meant it. In that moment, I meant it. (Right now, as I’m writing this, I feel cautiously pessimistic.) My coworker began singing a hymn sotto voce, and then praying under his breath, as he sometimes does when I go off on a rant while listening to the news. Dr. Omed is always winning friends and influencing people this way.   As I reflected on this little exchange, I indeed experienced a clarifying moment, and in that moment I realized that I am ready to be issued my white robe, take up the standard sign that says “THE END IS NEAR,” head for the nearest high traffic street corner, and become a living cartoon. (My stepdaughter suggested a sign inscribed “GOD IS A SOCK,” but while that appealed to my inner absurdist, it’s not nearly apocalyptic enough.) The clarified fact is that I believe, down to my hindbrain, that it’s too late for the human race to save itself, from several fates most of the fat-headed arrogant hominids that comprise the citizenry of this country would consider worse than death, which works out because death is what a lot of them will get, a lot sooner than they think, when they bother to think, may the God I don't believe in fuck them all.  I guess you could say I’m still a bit peeved about it. Jeremiads ‘R’ Us here at the Tent Show. 6:21:20 PM    comment []

MEG'S MUSIC QUIZMEME caught at Patteran Pages (DAMN YOU, DICK, DAMN YOU) How many hours in a day are you either directly or indirectly listening to music? Depends on what you call listening. My coworker often plays some oldies station while I’m listening to NPR or the BBC, but normally we both keep the volume down, so it’s a duel of murmurs, and I can tune it out, most of time. I never listen to music stations on the radio voluntarily. I can’t bear the repetition of songs I thought were stupid the first time I heard them. I have absolutely no nostalgia for the popular music of my youth. Even songs I like become annoying after the ten-thousandth time I’ve heard them. Most of the music I like is not and was not played on the air, except by the rare overnight DJ on a college radio station. I listen to music I hear on NPR, some of which I like. Ambient noises in the environment—or silence—are more interesting than most music. How many hours in a day? Not more than a couple at most, voluntarily.   How often are you in charge of said music?   Not very often, since I don’t choose to play music all that often. I occasionally play music at home when I’m doing housework, or “termiting” as I call it, and I employ music as a form of incantation when I’m working on art or poetry.   Do you need music as a part of your day?   No.   What band and/or solo artist have you been a fan of for the longest period of time?   Leonard Cohen   What three albums could you not do without?   New Skin for an Old Ceremony/Leonard Cohen Slaughterhouse Five soundtrack/Glenn Gould Third is a tie: Red Headed Stranger/Willie Nelson OR Is That All There Is?/Peggy Lee   What’s the last concert you went to?   A Jacob Fred Jazz Odyssey gig on New Year’s Eve several years ago.   Name two songs your friends/family associate with you?   I have no idea.   It’s Karaoke Night. Let’s say you’re the karaoke type. What do you sing?   Sisters of Mercy by Leonard Cohen—I know it by heart.   If you could sing/play an instrument like anyone else on earth, who would it be?   Glenn Gould   What musical format do you use most often (CDs, mp3s, vinyl, 8-tracks, live instruments, squeezed cats…)?   Tapes, CDs, or vinyl.   Do you own an iPod or mp3 player of some sort?   No.   Do you listen to music when you exercise?   No. Unless you count termiting (see above).   And finally… dedicate a song to MegFowler.com!   Joan of Arc/Leonard Cohen 5:55:53 PM    comment []