SCENIC TULSA: WALKING WITH THE 900 FOOT JESUS
Dr. Omed visits Oral Roberts
THE PRAYER TOWER
Oral Roberts University is a creepy place, even for some Christians. The buildings are oppressively tacky, in a Fascist-Modern sort of way. The architect or designer seems to have drawn his inspiration from watching The Jetsons while sniffing glue. The Prayer Tower is the spiritual hub of the place, and you see what I mean. ORU also reminds me a bit of pictures of Brasilia I saw when I was a kid, in a 1960 issue of National Geographic. Could be Oral subscribed. The campus has a slightly seedy air about it. Oral, in spite of his God-given grandiosity, built it on the cheap. The construction and materials were shoddy, and not all of the buildings have been well maintained.
The students and staff I’ve encountered positively glow with unrestrained sanctity, and are fanatically polite and helpful. I always pull my hat down low, so they won’t see the Number of the Beast branded on my forehead. Some fundy will read that and take it literally, no doubt.
A close up of the "saucer section."
When you enter the sanctum, the gift shop is to the left, the elevator is to the right. Sad to say, the gift shop no longer carries the John the Baptist Action Figure with the detachable head. I should bought one when I had the chance. There is also a little theater that shows an inspirational movie about the prayer tower, and an ever smiling attendant will take you on a little tour of the tower, if you ask. Bear in mind, tho', the urge to uncontrollable laughter will eventually overcome you, and you have be able to get back to your car. Here's what the official ORU website has to say about that:
"Located in the center of the campus to symbolize that prayer is of uttermost importance, the 200-foot Prayer Tower serves as the visitor center. Constructed in the likeness of a modern-day cross, the Prayer Tower's upward spiral is a reflection of man's relationship with God. The outward thrust of the observation deck represents the crown of thorns worn by Jesus Christ on the cross, and the red color represents the blood that was shed at His death. Atop the Tower, the eternal flame represents the baptism of the Holy Spirit. On the ground level visitors can view the Journey into Faith and ORU Perspectives presentations or browse in the gift shop. On the the observation deck level is a self-guided visual tour of the ORU campus."
A view from the upper deck of the Prayer Tower. Push the button on the pillar to the left, and a Disneyesque recorded voice will explain what you are looking at.
This is the door to the prayer room where Oral holed up when God was threatening to "take him home." His son Richard has sent Oral home into plush, secluded retirement at Palm Springs. Richard also hires keepers to make sure Oral doesn't get away. The room is now occupied by prayer warriors of the Abundant Life Prayer Group.
A JETSONESQUE FACADE
THE FORMER CITY OF FAITH
In the late seventies and early eighties Oral started construction on the so-called City of Faith, a cancer hospital that would employ faith healing and prayer as integral elements in the treatment of this illness. Why? Because the 900 foot Jesus told him to. Wouldn't you do whatever a 900 foot Jesus told you to do? He says build, and you say "How high, Lord?" What God-zilla failed to notice was that Tulsa at that time already had plenty of hospitals and more beds than patients to fill them. Even Oral couldn't fleece enough lonely shut-ins and born again nimrods to keep an empty hospital open, and the fundy folly was sold off. It became the headquarters of CFS, a debt collection business, until that company went tits up in the midst of Enron-like financial shennigans. The building now houses a number of different businesses, including Decision One, where our esteemed friend Brother Merle now works.
On our way out, let's stop to wave good bye to the Praying Hands. According to the Official ORU virtual tour:
"The Avenue of Flags is the main entrance to Oral Roberts University. The driveways are lined with lighted flags representing more than 50 nations from which ORU students have come. Sixty-foot, thirty-ton Praying Hands, the largest bronze scructure in the world, is the centerpiece for the Avenue of Flags."
"The largest bronze scructure?" What it doesn't tell you is that this huge holy hunk of scrap metal was originally made for and placed in front of the City of Faith. They moved it when the property was sold. I've been told by a native Tulsan that these monstrous mits are modeled on Oral's own hands. Dudn't that make your ass want to take a pinch of snuff?
Wave bye bye.
4:31:55 AM 
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