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Dead Letter Office, Dept. of Nightmares
Dear Galway,
It began late one April night when I couldn’t sleep. It was the dark of the moon. My hand felt numb, the pencil went over the page drawn on its way by I don’t what. It draw circle and figure-eights and mandalas. I cried. I had to drop the pencil. I was shaking. I went to bed and tried to pray. At last I relaxed. Then I felt my mouth open. My tongue moved, my breath wasn’t my own. The whisper which forced itself through my teeth said, Virginia, your eyes shine back at me from my own world. O God I thought. My breath came short, my heart opened. O God I thought, now I have a demon lover.
Yours, faithless to this life,
Virginia
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Dear Galway,
I have no one to turn to because God is my enemy. He gave me lust and joy and cut off my hands. My brain is smothered with his blood. I asked why I should love this body I fear. He said, It is so lordly, it can never be shaped again—dear, shining casket. Have you never been so proud of a thing you wanted it for your prey? His voice chokes my throat. Soul of asps, master and taker: he wants to kill me. Forgive my blindness.
Yours, in the darkness,
Virginia
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Galway Kinnell, The Book of Nightmares, 1971
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