Dr. Omed: The Dromedary Syndicate

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 13:28:55 GMT

FRESH SCISSOR DANCE

WRITTEN IN THE BOOK OF LIFE

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 08:33:30 GMT

LEONARD NIMOY / THREE GRACES / THE FULL BODY PROJECT

At the age of 76, Leonard Nimoy has a voice that sounds like old Bourbon should taste. I heard his voice on NPR this weekend, talking to Weekend Edition host Scott Simon about his new book of photographs, The Full Body Project. I was delighted to learn that Mr. Nimoy has not limited his artistic pursuits to acting the role of Spock, and among his non-Vulcan pursuits is fine art photography. In this series of nude photographs of the frankly obese-and-proud-of-it women of the Big Burlesque and Big Bottom Revue, he fights the good fight against the 'tyranny of slenderness.' Good on him.

See also: Girth and Nudity, A Pictorial Mission, New York Times, May 13, 2007. Live long and prosper, y'all.

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 03:50:09 GMT

TWO PICTURES WORTH TWO WORDS:

ABOVE: Extent of Arctic ice cap September 18, 1979

BELOW: Extent of Arctic ice cap September 18, 2007

The Cryosphere Today

HOLY SHIT!

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 02:30:48 GMT

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

Alan Greenspan photo credit: AP

It was just one of those things
Just one of those crazy flings
One of those bells that now and then rings
It was one of those things

Just one of those fabulous flights
A trip to the moon on gossamer wings
It was one of those things

If we'd thought a bit 'bout the end of it
When we started to bust up the town
We'd have been aware that this affair
Was too hot not to cool down

So good-bye, good-bye, good-bye,
Ta-ta, so long and you might even add "Amen"
Here's hopin' we'll do it again

It was great fun
But it was just one of those things

Cole Porter

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 04:02:09 GMT

AP Poll: 'None of the above' leads Republican field

2007-07-17 18:03:26

WASHINGTON (AP) - And the leading Republican U.S. presidential candidate is ... none of the above.

The headline says it all, folks. 23 percent of Republicans in the latest AP/IPSOS Poll prefer NONE OF THE ABOVE over all the declared candidates of the GOP. Rudy 'Judy' Giuliani, Fred 'TV' Thompson, John 'Capt. Queeg' McCain, Mitt 'Headroom' Romney, they all take a back seat to...NONE OF THE ABOVE! A candidate we can all embrace, no matter how unlike minded we are on the issues. None of the Above has no issues, and takes issue with none, always in agreement in the midst of disagreement. None of the Above promises nothing to nobody...and delivers.

None of the Above's past can't be mined for scandal and embarassing flip-flops, because None of the Above has no past and doesn't wear thongs. Give it up, swift boaters--Trying to pin something on None of the Above is like playing pin the tail on the donkey--with no ass. None of the Above represents the faceless and silent majority of Republicans who would just rather not think about the past six and a half years. As a matter of fact, None of the Above has no face and no comment, and therefore requires no expensive make-up artist, hairdresser, or speechwriters. None of the Above has no need for expensive consultants, requires no bales of money for pol-ops and dirty tricks, doesn't have to hang even one chad; all that None of the Above needs is for you the distressed and dissatisfied Republican voter to write in None of the Above on every ballot you cast.

Listen to the dog whistles, the creatures of the right, ah, what music they make... Tired of barking every time a tighty righty purses his lips and blows? Whistle for None of the Above and you will ride with the wind. The whistle stops here, that's None of the Above's motto. None of the Above needs no bus or private jet on loan from your friendly corporate overlord; None of the Above is everywhere and nowhere...wherever you go in these United States, None of the Above is already there.

Just think how much safer the world would be if None of the Above were president.

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 20:06:13 GMT

CELEBRATE ROSWELL DAY WITH A FRIEND.

WE COME IN PEACE.

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 14:25:56 GMT

DICK IN A VICE:

STOLEN IN ITS ENTIRETY FROM THE RUDE PUNDIT

Six Other Things the Office of the Vice President Actually Is:

Dick Cheney has decided that his office is a free-floating radical in DC, not quite an executive entity, not truly a legislative one, but some unholy Reese's cup of evil. Here's some other ways the Veep has untethered himself from mortal binds.

1. Because his office is not an entity in the executive branch, but actually a Native American religion, Cheney and his staff are free to smoke peyote at the start of every morning meeting.

2. Because his office is not an entity in the executive branch, but actually a breach in the space/time continuum, Cheney is free to enter at will his own dimension, the realm of Cthulhu and the slime beasts.

3. Because his office is not an entity in the executive branch, but actually a motorcycle gang, Cheney is free to beat Senators with chains and blackjacks.

4. Because his office is not an entity in the executive branch, but technically an executive bathroom, Cheney is free to wipe his ass with whatever documents are handy, memos, executive orders, Constitutions.

5. Because his office is not an entity in the executive branch, but actually a freak show, Cheney is free to bite the heads off chickens. And nosy members of Congress.

6. Because his office is not an entity in the executive branch, but actually an insane asylum, Cheney is free to rain bedlam down on the whole of government.

His Loveliness the Pope, the Reverend and Doctor Omed (SDAABS) grants absolution of mortal sin to any pilgrim and seeker that emails the above text and link to at least ten (10) recipients. One (1) absolution of mortal sin per pilgrim. Nihil Obstat. Ego Pater Omed.

Sat, 26 May 2007 22:21:53 GMT

LIVING IN THE LAND OF THE FISH PEOPLE

Coming soon on DVD: Clint Eastwood as Christ!

Never before released movie trilogy of the life of Jesus Christ, filmed in Italy in tandem with the Spaghetti Westerns Eastwood made in the Sixties:

The Spaghetti Passion: A Fistful of Souls, For a Few Souls More, and Jesus Force.

Made for the Italian market and withheld from release due the objections of the then current regime in the Vatican, these films have been digitally remastered with a new vocal track in English, featuring the voice of Clint himself. With Lee Van Cleef as Pontius Pilate, Charleton Heston as John the Baptist, and Eli Wallach as Judas Iscariot. Thrill to the parables and sayings of Jesus told the Eastwood way: In monosyllables through clenched teeth:

"Do you want some of these stigmata, punk? Well, do ya ?"

Sat, 26 May 2007 20:09:56 GMT

NOT EVEN WRONG

DEVIL GOIN' DOWN

Wolfgang Pauli, Nobel Prize winning physicist, the Pauli in the Pauli Exclusion Principle, as the tale is told, once succinctly reviewed a young physicist's paper, saying sadly, "That's not right; it's not even wrong." I heard a soundbyte of Bush on the Beeb yesterday, and those three words said themselves to me with my own mouth. Not even wrong. Almost every statement that comes out of Howdy Dubya is so dumb and delusional that his assertions (pre-programed or otherwise) do not even rise to the level of being wrong. Not falsifiable, as Karl Popper put it; not susceptible to proof, because the proposition has no testable hypothesis. The Decider doesn't have a plan or a goal, much less a strategy, he has articles of faith so slippery that they can explain any fact and elude any test.

People speak of framing the debate on the war; that we must change the frame, that is to say, we must alter the rhetoric and metaphors of political discourse in our favor, ala George Lakoff. We must substitute, insinuate, and impose our memes such that we replace the Republican frame with a Democratic frame. That's OK as far as it goes. We are all soldiers on the field of memes. But a frame is just a frame; it may largely and elaborately distract from, subtly direct attention to a particular aspect of, or complement the essence of the picture; but the picture is still the same picture no matter what the frame. It's the same picture if it has no frame at all. And the picture we're looking at is ugly. It's so ugly people can't bear it. We can't face our shame. No one is putting a frame on this picture, we're all putting a good coat of whitewash on the picture so we don't have to look at it. We don't want to look in the mirror and see ourselves as we truly are. Dubya, like Tom Sawyer, is standing by and collecting our treasures one by one, as we each take our turn with the sopping brush.

Every day I listen to NPR and the BBC World Service. I read the blogs, sometimes even WaPo or other MSM. If I pinched myself every time I thought, "I can't believe that Bush is President, it just can't be this bad," I'd be covered with so many welts I could get a job exhibiting myself at a freakshow as "The Pincher." I feel like I am living in some alternate reality, but that hypothesis is not testable.

Another soundbyte that has got a lot of play is John Boehner's tearful "After 3,000 of our fellow citizens died at the hands of these terrorists, when are we going to stand up and take them on? When are we going to defeat 'em?" That is not the pertinent question. Rather ask, "When are we going to stand down from these people?"

We already got us right where they want us. Some Republican or other, I can't recall who, had the absolute, fatuous arrogance to assert that we will see the light at the end of the tunnel, come September. The conventional riposte is, "Yeah, and it's the headlight of an oncoming train." There is no light. We're groping in black void, hoping to find a wall, and to feel our way to the opening of a tunnel. The tunnel has already left the station.

Follow the tropes.

We have our ass in a crack in Iraq, and Dead Eye Dick is offering Iran the other cheek. The longer we stay, the bigger chunk we leave behind. Meanwhile, Al Qaeda has the Enemas-R-Us franchise. In all seriousness, folks, what we are facing away from is the Crack of Doom. It is too late to do our duty and get off the pot. The situation calls for a crowbar, not a plunger. Congress has handed the Plumber-in-Chief a new plunger; he's already got a fan.

Open a frame shop, invest in Sherwin Williams, pray to the murderous God of Love, if conscience permits; we, as individuals, as a people, as a nation, will not make this right because we can't even make it to wrong.

Well, it's a long, long time
From May to December
But the days grow short,
When you reach September.
And the autumn weather
Turns the leaves to gray
And I haven't got time
For the waiting game.

Music by Kurt Weill,

lyrics by Berthold Brecht,

translated by Maxwell Anderson,

and best sung by Lotte Lenya.

Fri, 04 May 2007 13:48:37 GMT

CASSANDRA ALERT:

GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE MODELS WRONG

Memo to Senator Inhofe, Micheal Crichton, and all Global Warming deniers: Some of them pesky climatologers, geophysicalists, and scienterrorists have finally admitted their fancy supercomputer generated climate change models are WRONG. In a study of Arctic sea ice, they 'fessed up; it turns out, after you throw out all the big words, the North Polar ice cap is most likely melting THREE TIMES FASTER than their models predicted:

Scientists at the National Snow and Ice Data Center (NSIDC) and the National Center for Atmospheric Research (NCAR) found that satellite and other observations show the Arctic ice cover is retreating more rapidly than estimated by any of the eighteen computer models used by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) in preparing its 2007 assessments.

The study, "Arctic Sea Ice Decline: Faster Than Forecast?" will appear tomorrow in the online edition of Geophysical Research Letters (GRL). Julienne Stroeve of NSIDC led the study, with funding from NASA. NCAR’s principal sponsor is the National Science Foundation.

The Arctic is highly sensitive to global warming. However, the study shows that Arctic ice retreat is happening more quickly than any of the IPCC models have indicated. "This suggests that current model projections may in fact provide a conservative estimate of future Arctic change, and that the summer Arctic sea ice may disappear considerably earlier than IPCC projections," said Stroeve.

<snip>

"Because of this disparity, the shrinking of summertime ice is about thirty years ahead of the climate model projections," said NSIDC scientist and co-author Ted Scambos.

Y'all can read the press release HERE. Just think. The long sought Northwest Passage will finally be open to shipping. Some Inuit village above the Arctic Circle in Alaska or Canada might become a booming freeport city, sorta like a Dubai of the North, ruled over by some Sheik of the Eskimos. At the very least they could open some casinos like the American Indian tribes of the lower 48. Hit the jackpot at Nanook's Big Igloo. Just think. Those polar bears won't have an ice floe to stand on. Just think. Instead of sushi bars, mukluk bars. All the surviving polar bears could be trained to perform in casino circus acts; Cirque du Soleil de Minuit.

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 03:41:50 GMT

FRESH SCISSOR DANCE

THE TIME IS NOW

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 14:22:01 GMT

I AM MY OWN GNOME

ELK FALLS, KANSAS

Those of you who are familar with the film Amelie will recall that she kidnapped her father's garden gnome, and sent it around the world with a friend working as a stewardess for Air France. On her travels, the friend took polaroid pictures of the gnome posed in front of various world famous landmarks, and mailed them to Amelie's bemused father. I don't have a gnome, so I use (if need be) the ten second shutter delay on my digital camera, and pose as my own gnome.

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 03:17:00 GMT

"PROVOCATIVE ACT"

FROM THE OFFICIAL TEXT OF MR. BUSH'S STATEMENT:

Last night the government of North Korea proclaimed to the world that it had conducted a nuclear test. We're working to confirm North Korea's claim. Nonetheless, such a claim itself constitutes a threat to international peace and security. The United States condemns this provocative act. Once again North Korea has defied the will of the international community, and the international community will respond. (VIA NPR)

DIRECT FROM HIS WINDOWLESS CUBICLE IN HELL, DR. OMED RIFFS ON

Provocative Act

It’s an extremely provocative act.

It is a mad provocative act by a government which has lost all restraint.

It is hard to think of a more provocative act than this.

It is an unfortunate, provocative act that we cannot in any way encourage.

It was a provocative act that does not serve the cause of peace.

It is inconceivable that such a provocative act could have been undertaken.

It is the most dangerous and provocative act of folly.

it is quite appropriate to condemn this provocative and dangerous act.

It's very appropriate for countries to put sanctions on

to punish the provocative act.

We cannot say we cannot do anything.

We think it is a provocative act.

We view this as a deliberately provocative act.

We say North Korea did a provocative and unwise act.

We have here, then, a provocative and irresponsible act.

We point out, and object to, the oppressive and deliberately provocative act.

We stand next to you condemning the cowardly provocative act.

We strongly condemn any kind of provocative act, from whatever source.

We severely condemn this provocative act.

We lodge a strong protest to condemn this provocative act.

We condemn this provocative act and urge that it not be repeated.

We are truly facing a provocative act.

We cannot say we cannot do anything.

Our message is that this is a very provocative act.

You could hardly have had a more provocative act.

This provocative act violates a standing moratorium on provocative acts.

Washington warned it would be seen as a provocative act.

Britain said it would view any nuclear test as a highly provocative act.

We are consulting with international partners such as Russia and China

on the next steps uniting the world’s united opposition

to this provocative act.

Expect an impotent act of international self-stultification.

Do you have a position on whether this would be a provocative act or not?

I find it hard to believe that calling a provocative act

"provocative" constitutes effective deterrence.

We cannot say we cannot do anything.

Sun, 08 Oct 2006 16:01:34 GMT

DR. OMED'S 24-7 SERMONETTE

BUYING ARMAGEDDON

SEE IT ON THE BIG SCREEN AT GOOGLE VIDEO

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 17:12:46 GMT

GRENDEL’S LAUNDRY LIST:

READING FROM NASSIM NICHOLAS TALEB:

BLACK SWAN

A black swan is an outlier, an event that lies beyond the realm of normal expectations. Most people expect all swans to be white because that's what their experience tells them; a black swan is by definition a surprise. Nevertheless, people tend to concoct explanations for them after the fact, which makes them appear more predictable, and less random, than they are. Our minds are designed to retain, for efficient storage, past information that fits into a compressed narrative. This distortion, called the hindsight bias, prevents us from adequately learning from the past.

Black swans can have extreme effects: just a few explain almost everything, from the success of some ideas and religions to events in our personal lives. Moreover, their influence seems to have grown in the 20th century, while ordinary events—the ones we study and discuss and learn about in history or from the news—are becoming increasingly inconsequential.

Much of what happens in history comes from 'Black Swan dynamics', very large, sudden, and totally unpredictable 'outliers', while much of what we usually talk about is almost pure noise. Our track record in predicting those events is dismal; yet by (the) mechanism called the hindsight bias we think that we understand them. We have a bad habit of finding 'laws' in history (by fitting stories to events and detecting false patterns); we are drivers looking through the rear view mirror while convinced we are looking ahead.

Consider: How would an understanding of the world on June 27, 1914, have helped anyone guess what was to happen next? The rise of Hitler, the demise of the Soviet bloc, the spread of Islamic fundamentalism, the Internet bubble: not only were these events unpredictable, but anyone who correctly forecast any of them would have been deemed a lunatic (indeed, some were). This accusation of lunacy would have also applied to a correct prediction of the events of 9/11 — a black swan of the vicious variety.

A vicious black swan has an additional elusive property: its very unexpectedness helps create the conditions for it to occur. Had a terrorist attack been a conceivable risk on Sept. 10, 2001, it would likely not have happened. Jet fighters would have been on alert to intercept hijacked planes, airplanes would have had locks on their cockpit doors, airports would have carefully checked all passenger luggage. None of that happened, of course, until after 9/11.

Why are we so bad at understanding this type of uncertainty? It is now the scientific consensus that our risk-avoidance mechanism is not mediated by the cognitive modules of our brain, but rather by the emotional ones. Humans' risk-avoidance machinery is antiquated and unfit for the modern world; it is made to counter repeatable attacks and learn from specifics.

This may have made us fit for the Pleistocene era. Our risk machinery is designed to run away from tigers; it is not designed for the information-laden modern world. If someone narrowly escapes being eaten by a tiger in a certain cave, then he learns to avoid that cave. Yet vicious black swans by definition do not repeat themselves. We cannot learn from them easily.

The first error (is) excessive and naïve specificity. By focusing on the details of the past event, we may be diverting attention from the question of how to prevent future tragedies, which are still abstract in our mind. To defend ourselves against black swans, general knowledge is a crucial first step.

To paraphrase Kirkegaard, history runs forward but is seen backward…The mistake of overestimating cases of possible negligence (is) a chronic flaw of hindsight analyses.

Our system of rewards is not adapted to black swans. We can set up rewards for activity that reduces the risk of certain measurable events, like cancer rates. But it is more difficult to reward the prevention (or even reduction) of a chain of bad events (war, for instance). Job-performance assessments in these matters are not just tricky, they may be biased in favor of measurable events. Sometimes, as any good manager knows, avoiding a certain outcome is an achievement.

One of the greatest flaws in modern society: it does not understand risk. The focus…should not be on how to avoid any specific black swan, for we don't know where the next one is coming from. The focus should be on what general lessons can be learned from them. And the most important lesson may be that we should reward people, not ridicule them, for thinking the impossible. After a black swan like 9/11, we must look ahead, not in the rear-view mirror.

Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Note: Dr. Omed has edited the excerpts: To read the texts in full, click the link.

Additional Reading: Considering the Effects of Castastrophic Terrorist Attack

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 03:51:42 GMT

"RECOGNIZED AS INDISPENSABLE BY CIVILIZED PEOPLES"

RELEVANT PORTION OF ARTICLE 3 OF THE GENEVA CONVENTION:

In the case of armed conflict…each Party to the conflict shall be bound to apply, as a minimum, the following provisions:
(1) Persons taking no active part in the hostilities, including members of armed forces who have laid down their arms and those placed hors de combat by sickness, wounds, detention, or any other cause, shall in all circumstances be treated humanely, without any adverse distinction founded on race, colour, religion or faith, sex, birth or wealth, or any other similar criteria. To this end the following acts are and shall remain prohibited at any time and in any place whatsoever with respect to the above-mentioned persons:
(a) violence to life and person, in particular murder of all kinds, mutilation, cruel treatment and torture;
(b) taking of hostages;
(c) outrages upon personal dignity, in particular, humiliating and degrading treatment;
(d) the passing of sentences and the carrying out of executions without previous judgment pronounced by a regularly constituted court affording all the judicial guarantees which are recognized as indispensable by civilized peoples.

This is the infamously unclear Article 3 cited by George W. Bush as "vague" and "subject to interpretation." You don't have to consult 50 years of case law and commentary by military lawyers. Almost every citizen who has not been hypnotized by Fox News or Talk Radio knows what cruel, humiliating, and degrading treatment is because we all have been humiliated, degraded, and treated cruelly at one time or another in some way or another, especially those of us who are non-rich, non-white, non-Christian, and non-conforming—You don't have to be an ex-POW to figure it out, though I imagine being locked in a concrete box for years at a time might clarify the issue for you.

Outrages against personal dignity abound in these United States after five long years of fear-mongering and war—What? You haven't have been taken aside at an airport security checkpoint and subjected to a strip search, and had the contents of your luggage tossed like a Caesar salad? Travel by air? You'll get your turn.

Never been profiled and pulled over by a traffic cop? Why, you must be as pretty as Ann Coulter or as studly as Karl Rove. Never been sexually harassed by a boss? Maybe you aren't as pretty as Ann or as studly as Karl.

Have you never been laid off, or outright fired, had your desk rifled and your personal things tossed in a box by the herpie (human resources person) and marched publicly from the building, all or in part because you did not participate with sufficient slavish enthusiasm in the workplace consensus reality, which very often has a religious or political dimension? If you are a true blue citizen living behind the Fox Curtain in Red America working as a corporate janissary to make a living and feed your family, it's likely you have, maybe more than once.

Never had your campaign signs stolen, your bumper sticker peeled off, your flyers ripped up or tossed in the dumpster, received anonymous threats through your mail slot, or otherwise had your right of free speech abrogated or suppressed? You must be a Republican. Or else you aren't trying hard enough.

We haven't even gotten to the really outrageous outrages against personal dignity. But sometimes it's the little things that really shake you. I was walking my beagle one night last week, and 3 policemen pulled up to say "Hi" one after another over the course of a few blocks. The reason, I suspect, is that I was wearing my digital camera on a lanyard around my neck, and carrying a small collaspible tripod, some neighbor or other saw the glint of metal, and called it in. That's how bad the fear has gotten. I had my camera and tripod because I wanted to take some pictures of some neon signs on the main avenue on the way home (which I did). When the last cop slowed to a stop beside me, I was beginning feel some personal outrage, and I said with some exasperation, "Is it illegal to walk my dog?" All he said was, "It's dark out here," and slowly pulled away.

Fear is what the man I am ashamed to call the President is selling. It is an outrage against the dignity of our nation. What has been called into question in this matter is not the character or motives of George W. Bush, it is our character as the people of this nation. Will we chose to live in and act out of fear? Then we have lost the war, no matter how many terrorists we torture and kill. Are we a civilized people, or not?

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 23:07:36 GMT

"We must also provide our military and intelligence professionals

the tools they need to keep our country safe."

George W. Bush

TOOL

TOOLS

NEW TOOLS

OLD TOOLS

PROFESSIONALS USING TOOLS

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 22:34:46 GMT

What’s happening in Washington now is that the establishment political class—and that includes the military, moderate Republican and Democratic members of Congress, the jabbering pundits and op-ed writers, and the bulk of the thinktank denizens—are coming to grips with the stark fact that the war in Iraq is over. And that the United States has lost. It’s beginning to sink in, but it won’t be confronted directly by the political class until after the November elections. After that, all hell is going to break loose. If the Democrats win back Congress, it will happen faster—but even if the Republicans hang on, the gusting winds on Iraq now buffeting the White House will gather strength to become a full-fledged, Category 5 hurricane.

Richard Dreyfuss, Iraq's Reality Sinks In, September 8, 2006

VIA James Wolcott and TomPaine.com

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 02:58:23 GMT

A tight crop makes a good photo-op.

_____________________________

Five years later this space is still empty.

Five years later there is no memorial to the dead.

Five years later there is no building

rising to show with proud defiance

that we would not have our America

wrung from us, by cowards and criminals.

Five years later this country's wound is still open.

Five years later this country's mass grave is still unmarked.

Five years later this is still just a background for a photo-op.

Keith Olbermann, This Hole in the Ground

Sat, 09 Sep 2006 20:34:44 GMT

COMING TO YOU

FROM HIS WINDOWLESS CUBICLE IN HELL

DR. OMED READS A CLEAN, WELL LIT POEM.

Note: It's somewhat disquieting at times to watch and listen to oneself on the viddy. All the tics, fumbles, mumbles, and mispronounciations are there in not quite living color and 'puter speaker sound for me to see and hear. It's instructive, for the same reason. I'm not quite satisfied with the reading I gave, but it wasn't too bad, and I wanted the florescent-lit ambience of my workplace, the aforsaid windowless cubicle in Hell.

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 10:04:29 GMT

Poetry after Midnight

In the month of Remember...

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 14:04:36 GMT

FLARF POEM COMPOSED ON A GOOGLE OF "WAR IS NOT A TIME OF JOY"

Call President Bush

for quick deployment

of international force.

Uphold the fragile

cease—"The need is urgent," Bush said,

"War is not a time of joy,

These aren't joyous times.

These are challenging times,

and they're difficult times,

and they're straining the psyche

of our country,"

The President said.

"Sometimes I'm frustrated,

rarely surprised.

Sometimes I'm happy."

The President said.

I believe the next verse is

"I thought of, this is, you know…

War is not a time of joy."

Quite the bout of finger-pointing

is underway. Really.

There is absolutely nothing wrong

with being frustrated.

Bush is human. Really.

These are challenging times,

leaving now would be a disaster.

Pullout is impossible. Got that?

"Nobody wants to turn on their TV

on a daily basis and see havoc wrought by terrorists."

The President said.

Well, he did say he just finished

the plot against America.

War hurts. I want my Jesus back.

"War is not a time of joy," he said,

Thrilling linguists everywhere

by speaking an entire English sentence:

The President said,

"Nobody likes

to see innocent people die."

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 14:43:31 GMT

FRESH SCISSOR DANCE

(CLICK TO SEE LARGER IMAGE)

and, an ape with angel glands,
erased the final wisps of pain
with the music of rubber bands.

Leonard Cohen, The Master Song

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 09:04:23 GMT

Dr. Omed's 24-7 Sermonette:

Get Your War On (To Win the Unwinnable War…)

Have you ever noticed that whenever America makes war, a war declared in the media and not in Congress, a war against a word, an idea, a state of mind, a condition, or a category of nebulously defined behaviors, substances, or political entities, instead of a war declared and waged against a nation or nations, that these Wars On are conflicts which America never wins, or at least is rarely if ever the clear victor? That, in fact, these Wars On never really end, though such wars may subside and flare up, are occasionally discretely abandoned by their sponsors, or else we declare victory and withdraw, just like Reagan withdrew the Marines from Lebanon in 1984.

There was/is the War on Crime. In America, the main victors in this war are politicians who are "tough on crime" during their election campaigns. Often the criminals join the politicians creating in a "win/win situation."

There was the War on Poverty, and America certainly did not win that war. Today, under various dog-whistle rubrics such No Child Left Behind, and Welfare Reform America wages an undeclared War on the Poor.

There was/is the War on Drugs; did America win that war? We just say no to the drug-du-jour, and when next year's model hits the streets it always seems to be more noxious, more addictive, and more destructive to society than the last drug "scourge." However, this crusade, like the War on Crime, is a perennial winner for politicians and for the drug businessman too, on the whole.

For a long time, America fought a War on Communism, aka the Cold War; to my mind better called the Hot-and-Cold Running War. Some say we won that war, around the time the Soviet Union collapsed and the Berlin Wall fell. But both North Korea and Vietnam, "Communist" states to which we served up piping-hot war in the midst of the Cold War, still have "Communist" governments run by the same basic set of people that were in charge when we were making war on them.

We went to the brink of the hottest of hot wars during the episodes known as the Bay of Pigs and Cuban Missile Crisis, and since maintained a simmering enmity against the "Communist" regime of Fidel Castro. Yet nearly a half century later we are still waiting for Fidel to just fall down and not get up. The most populous nation on Earth, China, has a "Communist" government run by the same ruling class for almost 70 years. China and its present day ruling class are more powerful and more ambitious than the Imperial dynasties of old.

Even in most of the territories of the former Soviet Union, the same ruling class, more or less, is in charge, where there is anybody is in charge; little tyrannies fostered on ethnic hatreds formerly suppressed by the larger Soviet tyranny commit new crimes against humanity; the criminal class and the "new" nomenklatura prosper, while the mass of people suffer. The rich are richer, the poor poorer, and the differential between them vaster and more obscene than ever. Is this the triumph of our democratic freedoms and our egalitarian pursuit of happiness, or of the unrestrained psychopathy of transnational Capitalism? Did America really win the so-called Cold War?

Politicians and the elites of which they are a part benefit from declaring endless, unwinnable wars. The people can be distracted from their real concerns, polarized one from another and hoodwinked into acting against their own best interests for the fun and profit of the Oligarchs-R-Us. Getting your "War On" blows the dog whistle for the true believers and makes anyone dissents from the declared "consensus fearality" of the War On a traitor, one of those who the real war is made on. No nuances allowed. Who isn't against whatever the thing the WAR is ON is that thing.

For the past few years now, America has waged the War on Terror. If you're not against terror you're for it; you are the moral equivalent of a terrorist and enabler of Terrorism. That is the purpose of getting this War On. The purveyors of fear are empowered, common sense is marginalized, and reality becomes a bad joke.

Karl von Clausewitz (1780-1831), best known for his book, On War, defined it as "an act of violence intended to compel opponents to fulfill our will." The real purpose of war, therefore, is to put an end to any opposition— to shut down debate, stifle or chill any voices of dissent, rally society around an enemy, seize the high moral ground, and divert resources from one set of solutions to another, usually a military-based solution set. As a political tool for capturing and maintaining power, declaring war is simply too irresistible for power seekers to resist. (Link)

How terrified do we, the people, have to be, before our own ruling class can it a win? How many of our freedoms will we give up before we will surrender the least of our comforts, or give up the strangely comforting fear itself? How many countries must be laid waste, how far must “Democracy” be spread, before the “Ter-rist” bogeyman can be retired? How many people have to die before the President the United States of America can declare final victory?

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 14:58:24 GMT

FLARF POEM COMPOSED ON A GOOGLE OF “FOG OF WAR”

The fog of war
conceals much more
than can be seen.

In the fog of war,
chips can fall
in different ways.

Why not
have surrogates
do the fighting and dying?

The fog of war,
of course,
is thick.

Clausewitz, and probably
every military theorist since,
has spoken of the fog of war—

The difficultly of telling
what’s happening
when you’re in the field.

The war happened,
and then what happened
happened, and the timing was just right…

Tragic mistakes happen
In the “fog of war.”
Soldiers have since time immemorial died

from friendly fire
and other lethal errors.
In war, stuff happens.

It is devilishly difficult to follow
the ricochets
amid the incendiary fog of war.

But I suppose
we shall have
to try

not to see it as a failure,
attribute the negative outcome
to the fog of war.

On the positive side…
defined goals have melted
into the fog of wars gone by.

Other consequences
of the invasion
are still shrouded
in the fog of peace.

DR. OMED'S DAILY KOS DIARY:

The Fog of War and the Fuzz of God on Hard Facts Ave.

Fri Aug 04, 2006 at 09:41:42 AM CST

Human beings are not moved by facts. This is the closest thing to a true fact that you will ever encounter in your human existence. The facts, ma'am, just the facts are just too boring, too inconvenient, too depressing, too...factual--or as Mr. Colbert may already have said (Dr. Omed doesn't have cable)--too facty.

We, as a people, as an allegedly sentient species, don't want too much factiness. We do not want to be told the facts; we want to be told a story, a story with a happy ending; or at least a story with a good moral. I don't blame us; the facts are hard. We want some factric softener added to the wash, so our thoughts about them will come out fuzzy and warm. "God" is our favorite brand of softener when it comes to the really hard facts. God comes in many brands, and each brand claims unique and exclusive features and offers periodic enhancements to keep the devotion of its customers, but mostly what we want is to make those cold, hard facts fuzzy and warm.

CLICK HERE TO READ IT ALL.
COME BACK AND TELL THE DOCTOR WHERE IT HURTS.