Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Newspeak Dictionary Dave Pollard made a valid point over at the Freedom 2004 Project yesterday. He pointed out that "a lot of things happening in the US these days surprise me." Honestly, the same is true for me. That's exactly why I'm out here blogging it up: I'm trying to make sense of it all. It finally occured to me that if I created a dictionary of the Newspeak in vogue today among Republicans and the American media, we'd finally be able to make sense of it all. So, with that as my goal, here is a first attempt at A Dictionary of Today's Newspeak: "media consolidation" is now "media competition" "conservative bias" is now "liberal bias" "fair and balanced" is now "liberal bias" "strident right-wing bias" is now "fair and balanced" Rupert Murdoch is now more American than you or me Rev. Sum Young Moon is now more American than you or me       "waging war" is now "creating peace" "peace" is now "appeasement," "communism," "terrorism" or "treason" "Republican" is now "patriot" "Democrat" is now "appeaser," "communist," "terrorist" or "traitor" "liberal" is now "appeaser," "communist," "terrorist" or "traitor" "liberal Democrat" is now "nuts" or "insane" "hawkish Democrat" is now "temporarily useful" "Democratic military veteran" is now "appeaser," "communist," "terrorist" or "traitor" "Republican draft avoider" now "supports our troops" "Democrat" is now "liberal" "moderate" is now "liberal" "conservative" is now "moderate" "radical autocrat" is now "conservative" "civil rights" are now "special rights" "jingoism" is now "patriotism" "autocracy" is now "democracy" "American" is now "Republican"       "big business" is now "small business" "taxes" are now "human rights abuses" "social services" are now "human rights abuses" "millionaire" is now "middle class" "billionaire" is now is now "upper middle class" "poor" is now "lucky ducky" "massive deficit" is now "job creation" or "economic stimulus"       "Paul of Tarsus" is now "Jesus" "John the Evangelist" is now "Jesus" the author of Leviticus is now "Jesus" Jesus is now a Republican "Republican" is now "Christian" "Apocalyptic Christian" (Falwell, Robertson, etc) is now "Christian" "conservative Christian" is now "American" "liberal Christian" is now "appeaser," "communist," "terrorist" or "traitor" "Quaker" is now "appeaser," "communist," "terrorist" or "traitor" "Unitarian Universalist" is now "Satanist"       "Kafkaesque" is now "Jeffersonian" "contempt" is now "compassion" "loony" is now "sane"       "Likud" is now "Israel" catastrophic war in the middle east is now "Christian" and "in America's best interests" "Saddam Hussein" is now "Osama bin Laden" "Al Qaeda" is now "The Baath Party" * "Osama bin Laden" is now nobody       "George W. Bush" is now "President" * "Al Qaeda" may soon be redefined as "Iran," "Syria" or possibly "North Korea." 7:14:40 PM    Put your John Hancock right here!