Mommy Self-absorption

The winter storm was less than problematic:  one inch of snow and less than 1/4 inch of freezing rain.  It’s all melting now.  I did wake up every hour last night to 1) make sure the power was still on and 2) listen to my husband hack out a lung, and I guess I should add 3) to stick a boob at a needy baby.  Last night was not one of my better nights of sleeping as a Mom.

But, of course, let’s talk more about how well I slept because this blog is about ME: ME as a Mommy and ME as wife, ME as a professor, ME as a cat and dog owner, ME, ME, ME.  In fact, note that informal word for mother is really Mom-ME, if you’re smart enough to pronounce it right.

Or at least, that’s what today’s NY Times article on Mother Blogs implies.  (And according to the article, I am truly a horrible, selfish mother for wishing that this blog was included in the article, which it wasn’t)  Also, according to the article, women who give birth in the 30’s or later are particularly self-absorbed.  As the article says:

Today's parents - older, more established and socialized to voicing their emotions - may be uniquely equipped to document their children's' lives, but what they seem most likely to complain and marvel about is their own. The baby blog in many cases is an online shrine to parental self-absorption.

And clearly, this is a problem with mothers who have blogs today.  We are so focused on our own lives that we really don’t give a rat’s ass about our children’s problems.  Didn’t you realize?  Mothers are supposed to relinquish their own selves when they give birth.  Once you procreate you own life is less worthy.  Mothers are no longer separate entities.  God forbid if you are a working mother, who may be trying to juggle your work and home identities and come to grips with feeling incompetent at both.  Too damn bad.  Don’t talk about it on a blog because Good Mothers don’t think about themselves.  Good Mothers’ concern is Their Children.  Babies are the Only Thing Important in Their Lives for Good Mothers.   

So as a selfish old hag who gave birth and is now obsessed with myself on this blog (and of course, note that the self-absorption label does not apply to non-parental blogs), I would like to point out that this is my first time personally experiencing that lovely societal event which I first read about as a graduate student in psychology:  Backlash against women.  In this country, good mothers are no longer individual women who have given birth.  They are only and completely mothers.  They should shut the frell up about their own lives and focus on the lives of their children.  Don’t let the world see mothers as individuals.  Don’t let mothers gain support from others in this cold online world.  Never mention that if it wasn’t for this blog community I’d probably have caved in on feeding my son homemade organic food at daycare and could possibly have stopped breastfeeding as one of the few mothers who wants to do so for an extended period of time.  That’s because all of that is focused on ME.  It has nothing to do with trying to be a good mother at all.

Don’t forget that.  Don’t ever forget that this blog is about ME.  Therefore, it is clear evidence that I am a bad mom-ME.

12:33:04 PM