Happy Happy Joy Joy

Well, the first part of the day rocked.  I zipped up and wore my size 8 jeans.  These are neither my cute nor my skinny jeans.  But they fit.  And I wore them.  There was some excess flesh mushed up around the top but I don’t care.  I have 10 more pounds before I have access to all my cute clothes, but I’m thisclose to opening up a better part of my wardrobe just by almost getting to the 8’s. 

And then there was the Rest of the Day…

So that was the highlight of my day.  The rest of the day involved work and the dentist.  And I have decided that I would rather have a baby without an epidural than go to the dentist. 

I hate the dentist.  The people are actually nice, but the whole steel utensils and electric equipment in my mouth is just wrong. 

I was also a bit concerned by the screensaver on the hygienist’s computer.  I interpreted it as a threat.  It was an IBM computer.  First an eye appeared.  It was closed, resting on the screen.  Then a bee appeared buzzing around the eye.  (Get it???  I.  B.  M.??)  What was unnerving was that the eye became alarmed at the bee, staring at it as it buzzed around.  Then the bee approached the eye, until it was actually touching.  They danced around the screen the eye staring and the bee stinging until the M came in to bust it up. 

Was the bee really stinging the eye?  It looked like it was!  Whose bright idea was it to put a BEE stinging an EYE in a DENTIST’s office!??  Was this some sort of threat?  “You think this hurts??  You think this hurts??? Just imagine if a bee stung your eyes.  Now THAT would hurt!!”

Fortunately, it didn’t hurt at all.  However, I am, apparently, quite drooly.  I know Conor is, and I suspect that he got that “honestly” as we say in the South.  So drooly people have more teeth problems because, I guess, their spit sits around in their mouth and does bad things to their teeth and gums.  I have been having massive pains on one side of my mouth and I suspected that I had a cavity.  Well, I do have a cavity, but on the other side of my mouth (my first cavity since the 5^th grade.  Yikes!).  My pain is because my gums are receding faster than an ebbing tide on the right side of my mouth.  The pain is because my freakin’ tooth roots are exposed!  It’s a problem with “age” (one of just a few, I’m told).  So now I have to use sensitive toothpaste to help fill in the holes the exposed part of my teeth or something pathetic like that.  The hygienist even suggested that I just put a glob of the toothpaste on my tooth before I go to bed at night to help fill in the holes.  Lovely. 

So, really….that was one of my best dentist visits in a while.  And that is a sad, sad statement of how horrible my trips to the dentist are.  (And I don’t have cavities, usually!).  Again, epidural free birth versus dentist versus bee sting in the eye.  You choose. 

7:39:45 AM