Pumping at Work

 

Who knew all those unexpected awkward moments of motherhood were out there waiting to be experienced?  Truly, before I had a child, I never gave much of a thought about how women who breastfeed their children continue to do so while they work.  I just assumed “They pump.  Breastfeeding women just pump at work.”  Yes, they do.  But it’s a bit more complicated than that.

 

First, I know I am lucky because as a faculty member, I have my own office with a door that shuts.  And locks.  Every day at 10 am, 1 pm and 4 pm, I shut and lock my door to pump.  Except, I have to be honest: I only shut it now.  Only once has someone knocked on my door when I was pumping.  When I answered “Ummmm, Just a minute???”, they scurried away.  

 

But really, that’s the least worrisome part of pumping at work.  The bigger issue has to do with cleaning the pump pieces and storing the milk.

 

At first, I brought an ice pack to work and stored my milk bags in the cooling compartment of my Pump In Style! breastpump.  But then I kept forgetting the ice pack and I started storing the milk in the faculty refrigerator.  Although, I’m being generous with the term “refrigerator;”  it’s really a mini-fridge, smaller even than the ones you see in a dorm room.  We all squish our lunch in there at the beginning of the day and then it empties out as folks heat up their lunch in the microwave or toaster oven.  The mini-fridge is also located where the coffee pots are, so it’s a pretty active room. 

 

My office is down the hall from our “lounge” so twice a day at 10:15 and 1:15, I walk down the hall with my accessories (to rinse out with hot water in the sink) and my bag o’ milk to put in the mini-fridge.  After the third pumping, I keep the milk in my office and just take the accessories down for their final cleaning and sterilization. 

 

At first, I felt a bit awkward carrying both items down the hall.  It’s not all that often that one walks around with paraphernalia directly and exclusively related to one’s boobs at work.  To be honest, it’s not completely obvious what I’m carrying.  The “pumps” in fact look more like mini air horns  though they are made clear plastic and don’t make as nearly much noise.  The bag o’ milk just looks like a bag of milk which, if you think about it, is odd.  Why would the average person store milk or any liquid in a bag?  Of course, once someone reads the label on it, “My Mommy’s Milk,” it’s pretty clear what’s going on here.  I actually put the My Mommy’s Milk bag in a Ziplock in case, God(dess) forbid, it breaks open and spills all over my colleagues’ lunches.  Yeah.  That’s my reaction, too.  I have no doubt that same visceral reaction has occurred in others. 

 

So, I’m walking down the hall with my paraphernalia.  There are generally three reactions:  1) Unrecognition.  This is the most common reaction for students and for folks who don’t have young children or use the faculty lounge.  2)  Knowing, empathetic laugh.  This is from colleagues who recognize what I’m carrying and realize I must feel a bit awkward with my air horns and bag of milk. And face it, it's funny.  I would laugh if I saw one of my colleagues carrying air horns and bags of milk.  With my airhorns/bag, I’m basically walking down the hall at work with the equivalent of a flashing neon sign over my head saying “THINK OF MY BOOBS NOW!!!!”  That’s funny.  3)  The third reaction is the most endearing and the most awkward.  The colleague recognizes what I have in my hands, wants to be cool about it, but isn’t really quite sure where to look next.  I call it the “self-conscious-supportive-while-trying-not-to-actually-notice-what-I’m-carrying-smile-and-nod.” 

 

Honestly, after two months of work, everyone is getting used to my breastpumping and the breastmilk in the mini-fridge.  The only time it’s been awkward recently was when I forgot the Ziploc bag.  I had to put the “naked” bag of milk in the fridge.  A colleague was washing out his coffee cup.  I was spending an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out how to put the milk in there without it touching anyone’s meal.  Finally, I felt I had to make an excuse to my cup washing colleague (CWC) why I was spending so much time with the fridge door open.

 

Me:  I’m having a hard time putting my bag in here because I don’t want to weeb anybody out by having it touch their food.

 

CWC (Trying very hard to say something supportive):  Ummmm.   Errrrr.  Ahhh. 

 

Me (recognizing that I had brought up a very odd topic of conversation):  There’s not really much anyone can say in response to that, is there? 

 

CWC (Glad the awkwardness was recognized, stood at the door ready to flee the room, smiled, waved his hand and said):  Hi! 

 

Then he left the room. 

 

For some reason, I think that’s one of the sweetest things that has happened to me since I’ve been back at work.  It’s odd having one’s boobs and what they do so prominent at work.  My colleagues want to be supportive despite how bizarre it is to see breastmilk sitting on their sandwich.  Yes, it’s natural and bfing is Right and Good.  Nonetheless, it’s odd. 

 

Fortunately, this is where not being overly modest has come in handy.  My own reaction is to laugh.  It’s funny.  Breast is best.  But it’s pretty damn funny, too. 

 

Dead Birds

 

We've seen 10 dead birds in our breezeway over the last two days at work.  Apparently, they are eating these berries which have fermented and they are dying of alcohol poisoning outside our offices.  That is freaky ass.  You can't help but think it's an end of the world omen when you walk out the office door and there are 5 dead birds within 10 feet of each other.  Then you realize it's college, they're drunk.  And if you're like me, it becomes very hard not to laugh and then there's this feeling of awkwardness because it's not the appropriate reaction, and you want to appear cool, so where do you look next?

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