It’s All About Me

Just to reinforce the whole Mom-ME blog issue, let’s talk about Conor’s baptism on Sunday and how incredibly hideous *I* looked in the pictures. 

Oh, sure, he was cute.  He tried to splash in the baptism water and he let the minister hold him and kiss him and he smiled at the church when everyone clapped at the end.

Blah, blah, blah, the child was adorable, cute and just the sweetest. WHATEVER!

The real issue is my three chins that were hanging over my new Steinmart suit that didn’t get stolen.  WHAT THE F*CK!?  Seriously.  I don’t have a strong jaw/chin to begin with, but where the hell did those extra ones come from?  It’s one thing to have my face fade into my neck, but quite another to have rolls of flesh protruding out of the merge.

And then, my hair!  Dudes, I need to get to the hair salon ASAP.  I’ve got about 2 inches of dark and gray mixed hair between my scalp and what I think of as my normal colored hair.  And LORD, how can such thick curly hair be FLAT like Frankenstein on my head????

AND, to add insult to injury, my new suit makes me look like a cow.  I didn’t think I looked that fat until I saw the wide barrel of fabric around my middle.  It looked ok in the store.  WHAT HAPPENED?!

I looked like a middle aged, frumpy fat mother, and that is SOOOOOOOOOO not how I see myself.  

Research

I received this from a student at UTenn-Martin.  I'm not officially endorsing it, but I'm quite happy to pass it along to folks who read.

The researcher is:

10:08:38 AM