Coming Apart at the Seams

 

So apparently, I did have the flu.  I didn’t even accept that as a possibility until I picked Conor up from daycare Monday afternoon.  His primary care provider was there and I asked her how she was feeling since she had been out nearly the entire week before. 

 

She was fine now, but the “flu” was awful.  I’m not so trusting of people who say they have the flu.  First, many people think that the flu means you have gastrointestinal problems (i.e., you yak and poop).  This is not the flu at all.  Second, some people will say that every bad cold they have is the “flu.” Not so much either. 

 

So when she told me she had been to the doctor who had diagnosed her flu, I paid attention.  She told me the main signs were fatigue, fever and a cough so bad it hurt her back and she would nearly throw up.  My responses at the time were “I’m a working mother I’m always tired,” “I have a fever of 103,” and “yes, I’ve been coughing and gagging, too.”

 

I left with Conor thinking, well, I’ve got two of the three signs (because I’m not really more tired than usual), I guess it could be the flu but I doubt it.

 

Then I started thinking about the party we went to Saturday night and how I took a cat nap at 6 despite the fact that we were leaving at 7.  And how I slept in the car over there.  And how I slept in the car when we arrived early and waited for someone else to show up.  Hmmmmm, I said.  That’s not usually normal for me, despite being a working mother.  We also only stayed 1.5 hours at which point I was too pooped to talk to anyone else and we came home.  Definitely not so much me at all. 

 

I would like to also point out that it was only today that I realized that on Monday when I drove to work, I could barely keep my eyes open.  I rested them at each stoplight.  And when I arrived at school, I took a nap in my car so I could then walk to my office. 

 

But of course none of that occurred to me at the time when she was asking me “if I was tired.”  Nope.  I’m just normal.  A bit more tired than usual.  But not very, very tired.

 

Then Monday night about 2:45 am, I felt a stabbing in my ear.  It was a sharp needle-y feeling but I recognized it:  an ear infection.  Yes!!!!  I was having an ear infection AND the flu!!!!! Yay for me!!!!!! 

 

Luckily, it popped incredibly quickly and was not painful.  In fact the dramatic re-enactment would entail:  Ow. Ow.  OW!!!! OW!!!  Oh my God!!!  Dave!  Get up and get some cotton balls I’m draining into the pillows. 

 

At that point, I was pretty much bossing Dave around.  Bring me medicine!  Bring me water!  Get cotton balls for my blood and pus ear!! 

 

The next morning I made a first time possible appointment at the ENT.  In another fortunate turn of events, Dave had both an early morning and late night work appointment.  So I was going to be alone with daycare drop off and pick up responsibilities along with single parenting with my flu and blood/pus ear until late, late Tuesday night.  Personally, I think he planned it that way.  (how you stay at home moms do it when you’re sick, I have no idea)

 

I arrived at the doctor.  I told both him and his nurse about the flu and the recurring sinus infection that I was now thinking was not quite killed and had therefore led to the ear infection.  Blah, blah, blah.  Yadda yadda yadda.  Two separate but ironic bits of luck for me and my wonderful health. 

 

He looked into my ear and said, “I don’t see a hole.” 

 

I was flabbergasted.  I swore to him that blood and pus had come out of my ear.  He agreed that it was not normal as he could see all the blood behind it, but it must have been just a pin prick that let the liquid out and then healed over.  (I’d like break the narrative right now and say that driving home the same thing happened again and it freaked me out.  Oddly, there was not even pain this second time.) 

 

So then he started asking more about the sinus infection.   He asked about headaches.  I told him I have them all time; I’m stressed at work.  He didn’t seem impressed.  He said, I want to send you in for a C/T scan. 

 

Ok.  Fine.

 

But then he said, “I need to shoot this up your nose.”  “Come again?” I inquired.  “Something…something…blah…blah…don’t make this a habit,” he replied and then he stuck this long silver wand up my nose and said “Inhale!” 

 

As best I could as some teenager being forced to try a drug she no intention of experimenting with and wasn’t really sure she ever ought to try, I took a big sniff.  And the he did the other one.  And I tried to sniff again.  He waited while I sniffed again and again trying to inhale it deeper and deeper. 

 

I will admit that it wasn’t until I was lying face down on the hair net covered C/T scan headrest that I realized that I was not having fun.  That I would much, much rather have my annual exam at the OB/GYN with my wonderful doctor whom I love than what I was experiencing here. 

 

I took my X-rays back to the doctor and waited.  After about 15 minutes, the nurse called me in.  She put the X-rays on the light.

 

“You are a very sick woman,” she said.  Later I would “That’s what my husband says!” but at the time all I could process was “Duh.  I have flu and an ear infection.  Of course, I am very sick.”

 

She continued, “All of this part of your skull should be black and show air.  But yours is gray.” 

 

OK, I admit that seemed odd.  But whatever. 

 

“I’ll send the doctor in.” And she left. 

 

The doctor walked in and said, “Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting this.  You are very, very sick.” 

 

To be continued…

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