Frustration, Pressure and a Stinky Dog

I had to admit to Dave yesterday that I am feeling frustrated and a lot of pressure about the whole baby thing---and this is just month 3 of trying!  No, this pressure is not coming from any one source and especially not from my wonderful man.  I'm feeling the most frustrated that I am as old as I am and I have had absolutley no idea about what has been going on with my body for lo these past 28 years.  Not. A. Clue. 

Being that I am a searcher-of-the-truths-of-people in my career, this makes me feel very sad and frustrated.  Even to the point that I am crying as I type this.  (And that, of course, makes me feel guilty because I'm afraid I'm making my body too stressed for any little combination of Ovalina and Sparky to want to settle in and make a future with each other)

And then I do feel pressure especially from the great new book (which I really do like) Taking Charge of Your Fertility.  The charts are so detailed and intricate and being the Good Girl that I am, I feel pressured to faithfully record my temperature, poke and prod myself, write down all impressions, search out the pictures, re-read all the sections I've already read, feel guilty about the ones I haven't and  take my robitussin, evening primrose oil and massive amounts of water (after the ovluation predictor test) every day.  Bleah.  And don't tell me to "stop trying" or "stop worrying" because I will hunt you down and smack you in the head.  It is my nature.  The pressure comes when I don't do absolutely everything I'm supposed to, or I skip on one of the things for one of the days and then I start worrying that I've "missed" or miscalculated ovulation for this month. 

So, thoughts and impressions and hopefully help for those who find this blog through various searches.  Robitussin as a fertility aid works. I'm not sure about the evening primrose oil, but I'm going to stick with it, too, because something or some combination of things is working. I haven't stuck with the grapefruit juice long enough to know if it's working.  I have also just figured out that my body has been trying for a 28 day cycle, but not quite making it.  Then it goes for a 35 day cycle.  I have absolutely no doubt that my 35 day vs. 28 day cycle is related to stress at school/work.  Next semester should be less stressful by an amazing amount and I'm looking forward to it. 

OK.  Enough bitching and moaning on this part.  I hope some woman (or man?!) trying to get pregnant finds this entry and it makes their lives a little better.

On to the stinky dog.  Patches has started rolling again.  There is some dead thing in our backyard and Patches has decided to make it Eau de Canine. Petting him, his fur is gummed up and truly, his smell is not conducive to a lot of loving.  Also, he is limping really badly in the mornings.  We are tricking him into taking his special dog Enteric coated aspirin by having him Sit! and then giving it to him covered in peanut butter.  It's a treat that way.  We use the same trick with his doggie glucosamine Glyco-flex sans peanut butter.  If he gets it after a command, it must be a treat, eh?!

Off to work.  As soon as I update all the info in my chart.

8:10:11 AM