Bizarre Pregnancy Math

OK.  Let's start this by agreeing on one important concept:

9 x 4 = 36.    That is a correct calculation, right?  9 months times 4 weeks per month equals 36 weeks.  OH!  Yes.  You're right.  We're talking word problems now, and we all know how tricky that is!  We've all heard that women are pregnant for 9 months, right?  So it seems logical that 9 months would translate into 36 weeks. With me so far?  It seems fairly straightforward, but it is not, my friends.  It. Is. Not.

"Term", or how long women go from conceiving to popping the bun out of the oven, is actually 38 weeks.   OK!  Fine!  9 1/2 months.  No big whoop.

But when you calculate a due date, you actually use 40 weeks!  The doctors, nurses, and pregnancy books tell you to calculate from your last menstrual period (LMP) and add 40 weeks (or add a year, subtract three months, and add a week or something freaky like that).  Yes, 40 weeks folks:  10 months.  They reason that "most women" conceive around 14 days after they start their period.  So, 38 weeks + 2 weeks after LMP = 40 weeks. 

OK.  Fine. Whatever.  But please note that using this 40 week calculation, as soon as a women conceives, she's supposedly starting her 3rd week of pregnancy!  Yes!  For all you women out there--as soon as you start your period, you're one week pregnant!  In the week(s) before you ovulate, you are actually 2 weeks pregnant according to this stunningly lame-o pregnancy math.  Why on earth use this calculation?  Well, women aren't always sure when they ovulate, but it's always clear when they start their period.  So healthcare professionals count from the start of their last period.  But why not just add two weeks to the date of the women's LMP????? Then one week pregnant means that this is actually your first week of  pregnancy!  My Lord!  What a novel idea!!  Let's have the mathematical calculation coincide with what is actually happening!! 

You may recall my diatribe on bull-sheet information about what "most women" do.  God forbid that you didn't ovulate 14 days after your LMP--what if you ovulated 3 weeks later?  The pregnancy week is still calculated from your LMP, but not adjusted--so you're nearly 1 month pregnant (4 weeks) right after you conceive!  AHHHHHHH!

Why such a tizzy from this blogger?  Well, people ask me how far along I am, and I don't know!  I read through books to find out what is going on inside my body right now and I have to search to figure out if they are talking about weeks since LMP or weeks since conception.  Certain tests can be quite dangerous if they are performed before X weeks, and I don't know if they mean X weeks since LMP (which assuming ovulation at 14 days would be the wrong calculation for me!) or from date of conception.

I'm not an accountant, but I feel like the books should match. Weeks pregnant should correspond to weeks with a bun in the oven. 

New tirade over. Off to work.  Yesterday, Dave witnesses a rabbit experience with Patches similar to my bird one.  This time Dave was the one running around shouting DROP IT and LEAVE IT while the poor rabbit looked at Dave with frightened eyes.  Apparently, Patches had it by the scruff of the neck which may have been what he was trying to do with the bird.  Fortunately, Patches dropped the rabbit who scurried away and, we believe, survived.  I'm proud of Patches that he was fast enough to catch a rabbit, but it still totally weebs me out. 

8:38:27 AM