Detritus

 

I’m not in a coherent state this morning.  Although Conor slept through the night, my body decided to honor our ritualistic waking by sending my diaphragm into a spasm from 3 am until 4 am.  Usually, I only get that after a really hard run, but last night, well, last night my body decided to just keep me in that less-than-full-sleep mode.  It hurts, but it’s clear there’s nothing seriously wrong.  So, ahem, there’s no need for anyone close to me to worry about it.  (You have to feel for the folks close to me; it’s hard for them to read this blog and not get freaked out occasionally, what with the twitching, red, spasmy bits I share)

 

So here are things on my mind:

 

Bad Mommy

 

Conor’s daycare is beside a YMCA in Charlotte.  Dave and I joined it before Christmas so I could start working off my booty.  I feel guilty going to the gym when I could be picking up Conor early.  But I figure the 30 year old Conor would forgive me for picking him up a little late if the Mommy he has then was still healthy and vibrant. 

 

Nonetheless, I wasn’t expecting the 18 month old Conor to see me drive into the parking lot yesterday.  (When I say his daycare is beside the Y, I mean his daycare is almost touching the Y—they share a plot of land and a parking lot)  So he sees the car drive in, he sees me get out of the car and he proceeds to run around the playground squealing in anticipation of me picking him up.  Imagine my guilt when I walk into the Y.  And then let me tell you that it was worse that you imagine.  I did a quick workout and then picked him up. 

 

I’ve got to keep working out and get a healthy body back, but the guilt is pretty overwhelming.

 

Cooking

 

Thanks to some very kind gifts, I received two good cookbooks over the holidays which I have been using quite a bit.  I think it’s part of the healing process and also part of being on vacation, but I’ve made chicken meatball soup, braised pork roast, Indian spicy cauliflower, Spanish fish and fried cheese, “real” macaroni and cheese, and even more considering the holiday parties we hosted, again as part of the therapy.

 

I do love cooking and I’m lucky to have a husband and a toddler who are pretty willing to try about anything.  Conor isn’t always a fan, but if we can sneak it in his mouth, he’ll eat it. 

 

Of course, in my head, when I blogged about my recent cooking, the details were mouth watering and inspiring.  <insert witty, inspiring, mouth watering comments here>

 

Remodel

 

Here’s this year’s lesson:  we’re ending out third year in this house and finally, FINALLY, the To Do less is getting shorter.  We took the advice from Saturday’s Charlotte Observer to write down all our plans for the year and to create a budget (Yikes!  Some items immediately went to next year).  We also incorporated Nancy Brachy’s To Do list for the garden.  (I love her, by the way.  I’ve written her so many times I feel like a stalker)  It’s a lot:  we have two more landscaping beds to do as well as decide on some trees and blueberry bushes; Dave has more work on the garage; we need to repair some rotted out wood, etc. etc.  I have even decided to keep the vegetable garden this year despite the fact that I hated it last summer.  We’re planting less and we’re using a boat load of mulch to keep the weeds out. 

 

Nonetheless, I turned to our To Do list in April for 2 years ago, and the To Do list for APRIL was as long as our to do list for this WHOLE YEAR! 

 

Holy crap!!  We were stupidly ambitious. 

 

And Dave, being unused to the whole point of making a To Do list and then To Put It Off has already started on three of his items and is nearly complete:  screens for office windows, change heating filters and MAKE A CUPBOARD FOR OUR COFFEE CUP COLLECTION!!  Since Saturday, he’s done all this. 

 

If I had-a known that, we’d have lists stuck up all over the place.  I, of course, have done squat on my list.  Oh well.  I think that’s pretty much my life.

 

OK.  The conference paper is in and I think it doesn’t suck.  Now, I need to write an essay and then review a research proposal from Canada.  I don’t know how Canada found me, but it’s a pretty big deal and I’m happy to help.  I’m not sure when I’ll be back here.  Tomorrow I’m teaching and Thursday I’m going to Clemson for a NSF conference. 

 

Did I mention that I woke up Sunday night and found that my shoulders were attached to my ears?  In my SLEEP!!!!  I’m unconscious, yet nonetheless, my shoulders are up around my ears.  I kept pulling them down, going back to sleep and then waking up to them at my ears.  That is pathetic.  Pa-thetic.   

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