Say it ain't so. This is one of the writers around here who really inspires me. He makes me think and he makes me laugh. His turn of a phrase is unmatched. He will be sorely missed.

Here's hoping it's a brief respite from the fray and not a permanent retirement. There's truly nowhere else on the web that I've found that comes close to The Raven's artful use of the English language.

10:36:29 PM    dish []  

Last year, there were at least three movies made around "mature" women having affairs with younger men (or, in the case of Tadpole, an adolescent). It's a theme that's certainly not new, but in "real life," it's something of a taboo in polite society, aside from the old cliché of the sexually inexperienced young man coming of age in the more skilled arms of an older woman (who can forget Stifler's mom?).

In many such films, the older woman character is sadder and lonlier than Stifler's mom, of course. If the movie is not of the sentimental romantic-comedy type, she often becomes something of a "Fatal Attraction" problem for the young man when either one or the other wishes to call it off (e.g. the already crazy Holden losing it entirely when Jennifer Aniston calls it quits in The Good Girl). If the central plot is the coming-of-age theme, the older woman simply fades into the background when the young hero decides to pursue more age-appropriate love interests.

Me? I'm married, to a man a few years older than I am, and not very likely to have a wild fling with anyone, let alone someone much younger. But I can feel the stereotypical itch sometimes that amounts to little more than a desire to confirm that I can still be attractive, and perhaps still unpredictable and untamed. There has always been a desire imbalance in my relationship, and, contrary to what culture usually portrays as the norm, it's not me who gets the headaches. It was actually when I was younger that I had the feeling I would have been more sexually satisfied with a younger man who would be more physically inclined to match my appetites.

I'm more likely to fantasize that I am younger (and of course considerably hotter) than that my partner is. That's not to say that I don't notice younger men. I work with many younger people nowadays, though by and large they are computer geeks as opposed to underwear models with washboard abs and pouts, so they don't turn my head as such. They tend to consider me "safe" rather than sexy, so it's an environment of "feeling at home" rather than one of unbridled sexual tension. This is actually fun because it gives me a bit of insight into their minds and even the occasional glimpse into their hearts. Were I more maternal, such perspectives would fill my own heart with sentimental goo. But it has allowed me to respect the ways that they are mature in their emotional lives and to appreciate the places where they are still "unformed."

So I'm attracted to the conquering mind of the younger man – the searching soul; the sense that there is so much more ahead than there is behind. If sex could tap into and borrow that the way that friendship has, I'd probably be a wanton woman in my midlife. Instead, the true gift that has come to me through the privilege of friendships with a few younger men is a dash of that courage in my own life, and a sense that there is much that I might yet accomplish before I toddle off to the old folks' home.

Would I sleep with a younger man? Well, I am monogamous and I don't intend to change that, so under current circumstances, no. If circumstances were different, I'd certainly consider the opportunity if it arose, but there would probably have to be some compromises. I can't see myself making love with godsmack playing in the background, but the younger men around me are teaching me never to say never.

6:18:54 PM    dish []