Yeah, so everyone and their mother will be writing about the last episode of Buffy, but I don't care; this time, I'll be part of the crowd.

Hardly "one of the crowd," Maureen's take on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" goes beyond the review of this infamous episode and evolves into a gut-wrenching discussion of domestic abuse. A well-written, heartfelt post that should not be missed!

10:25:15 PM    dish []  

Have you "found yourself" at this point in your life or are you still looking? Were you a late bloomer or did you come out of the gate early with your destiny all mapped out? Do you tend to reinvent yourself often of your own volition or only when other circumstances necessitate that change?

I'm curious about these things because I've always been a little bit fickle about my core interests, and I've changed my goals many times to accommodate that. If I have to point to a single purpose in my life, I'd certainly protest the "single" restriction and say "lifelong learning," maybe in part because it gives me an excuse to keep expanding in new directions and that's what I've found that I'm really all about.

Over the past year or so, I've been reading the evolution of Wil Wheaton via his blog. I found it from some link on another site I was reading at the time and checked it out because I'm a casual Trek fan. I stayed because, while his life events are not necessarily of keen interest to me, he has a wonderful way of expressing himself; there's a lot of his writing that is so poetic you feel like you are there. If I say I can really sink my teeth into his prose, I mean it almost literally – he's so descriptive that it feels like my senses are involved, not just my imagination. Here's an example:

...In the living room, the table where Aunt Val would put the artificial tree at Christmas is gone, though it's footprints still mark the carpet. In my mind, I put it back, fill the space beneath it with gifts, warm the air with the laughter and love of the entire family gathered around it, singing songs and sipping cider...

Sure, there's an "it's" where he means "its," but don't you just FEEL both what he imagines and the melancholoy in his experience of its absence?

So what does this have to do with "finding oneself," you ask? Yesterday, Wheaton described his realization that he had, indeed, found himself by writing and self-publishing his first book. And, as a reader of the blog for the past year, I suspect he's right on the money about what he's all about right now. No more looking back at what was, other than to marvel over how it contributed to getting him to now.

Wheaton is around thirty, I think. It was funny reading his adult thoughts because in my mind, he was perpetually adolescent thanks to his acting roles. When I discovered his writing, it was odd to realize that he was older than several of my coworkers because I thought of all of them as adults but thought of him as a "kid."

So what age is "grown-up?" At what age do you think you should be over trying to figure yourself out and on to actually producing whatever the product of your maturity is/will be?

I doubt that Wheaton will stop striving to become more himself; his writing just screams out that, while he's quite happy with who he is and what he has accomplished, he'd be bored with the idea of resting on his laurels. I have a sneaking suspicion that many bloggers, regardless of their age, are lifelong learners too; curious, seeking, exploring. Perhaps blogging is just one more way of looking at both oneself AND how one fits in this amazing world that we share.

When I was twenty, I tried to imagine what I'd be like at thirty or forty, but all I could know was myself at twenty. The person I was at twenty has not disappeared despite the fact that I've lived that many years since. Instead, she has grown, expanded, and become something MORE rather than simply something different. I can look at someone who's twenty and see that there is a lot of life and learning ahead for that person, but that doesn't mean someone who's twenty doesn't have something important to say and contribute NOW.

At twenty, I worried that I wouldn't be able to achieve; to measure up; to make a difference. At forty, I worry sometimes about becoming irrelevant; about closing my mind to the possibility that tomorrow could be different; about reaching a point where I will no longer seek out challenges that bring about new growth – and that I won't be able to make a difference.

My dreams have changed over the years; I've achieved some of them and discarded others. But the point is that I still have dreams, and those dreams are key to who I am as well as who I will be twenty years from now. Life continues to present endless possibilities, and I'm excited to have so many of them from which to choose. That may not make me "young," but perhaps it keeps me from growing "too old."

7:07:40 PM    dish []  

...is PREVARICATE. Perhaps dictionary.com is just a tad slower to react to the news that politicians lie than Salon blog writers Rich Pure&Simple, kriselda jarnaxa, and Jan Haugland?
5:59:06 PM    dish []