“Man’s” Work & “Woman’s” Work
Anyone in a long-term relationship knows there is “Man’s” work and there is “Woman’s” work. Without general agreement on these tasks there is chaos. These are not broad cultural norms but differ from relationship to relationship.
As in most relationships, I, the man, have the lion’s share of the responsibility. I don’t mind, this is the way I was trained (by my mother, of course). Fortunately, I am very efficient and can finish my tasks with plenty of time left over for leisure activities. Christina seems less able to make time for “discretionary” tasks. Lest you think I am exaggerating I want to give you some examples (I’m sure this will sound familiar to the guys).
My responsibilities include all the important things –
- Making a living to support us in the style to which I have become accustomed. This is only slightly less arduous since we retired. I spend much time on the telephone with Barry and read many newspapers and magazines.
- Staying on top of global events. Not easy in a foreign land.
- Doing research and shopping for the big things. This includes jewelry, watches, knives and cars. Christina handles the smaller items.
- Researching and recommending restaurants to Christina. All she has to do is pick one from the list and make the reservation.
- Anything to do with maps.
Christina’s responsibilities are less demanding –
- Shopping for the little things. This includes food and household items (excluding knives). This is all pretty straightforward. You take your “Pousette-Marche” and go to a market or store where there is a great selection.
- Managing the households. I admit this is somewhat complicated with 3 locations (NY, Otis and Paris).
- Handling social arrangements. This includes the wedding, and the party as well as talking to anyone who calls and making all plans with others.
- Making reservations at restaurants.
- Making travel arrangements. This includes hotels, trains, airlines, cruise lines, car rental agencies, etc.
NOTE from Christina: He forgot to mention the daily living agenda—like answering the question: “So, what are we going to do today?”
As you can see, Christina’s responsibilities are much more straightforward while mine are more complex (do you know how many restaurants there are in Paris and New York?). I don’t understand why she doesn’t seem to ever have any time to read or knit. I’m already on my fourth book. It seems the more I try to help her (by making a few well intended suggestions on some additional alternatives she could have considered) the busier she gets!
delB/May 9, 2004
2:21:50 PM 
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