Originally Posted March 27, 2003
Moscow launches intercontinental ballistic missile
The Russian military has launched a test intercontinental ballistic missile from its northwestern Plisetsk base, military officials said.
The Topol rocket, which was 18 years old, was fired at the Kamchatka peninsula, the usual target for most Russian intercontinental test sights.
Military officials told AFP that the launch was not linked with the United States' decision to launch the Iraqi war...
When contacted by AFP earlier, a Russian military space agency official had refused to answer whether the test had been planned before or after the US-British military attack on Iraq...
March 28, 2003
Let's see now... With a high concentration of U.S. troops within spitting distance of Russia's backdoor, and a high probability Kim Il Jung is eyeing a target anywhere from the Aleutians to Hawaii to San Francisco...
Yep, I'd say "they" have us pretty well covered. Like 275 million sitting ducks.
Anyone up for pushing France or India over the edge?
I can already smell the biggest barbecue in the world.
Thanks, George. I feel a LOT safer now.
Comments
From LostDreamer on 03/27/03
that last sentence sounds like sarcasm...i think that might be bad. seeing as how i am politically challenged...what does that entry mean. feel free to use food as an example again..or if you dont want to explain it to me thats ok too. hahahaha.
From P---- on 03/28/03
Hey, LostDreamer. doublethink already used a food example: "I can already smell the biggest barbecue in the world." :-)
Here's another one. Let's say Taco Bell had these super-gigantic burritos that they could mount on intercontinental missiles. And then McDonald's had these giant cheeseburgers that they could shoot out of submarines . . . .
Ah, geez, I can't do this. doublethink's gonna have to do it.
-P----
From doublethink on 03/28/03
Okay, LD, I'll give it a shot. No food this time, though...
It's like this: Most of the kids in the neighborhood are fed up with the neighborhood bully. He has a long history of pushing everybody else around all the time, stealing smaller kids' lunch money, and beating up on kids who can't defend themselves. (He also makes a lot of threats to bigger kids who can defend themselves, but until recently he's been pretty good at talking his way out of fighting them, because he doesn't really know if he can kick their butts.) Even the two kids who live right next-door to the bully have finally come out and said they're mad at him -- and these two have always been pretty quiet, because they didn't want to upset him.
Well, now there's a lot of gossip racing through the neighborhood. The buzz sounds like a bunch of the other kids, including a few who used to belong to the bully's old gang, are planning on ganging up on the bully and beating the crap out of him.
They've all tried talking to him, but it hasn't worked. It's not that the bully is stupid or anything, but right now, he's stuck on this idea that he's going to be top dog of the whole neighborhood, no matter what anybody else wants -- and there's been no way to make the bully listen. A lot of the kids who used to belong to his gang are surprised, and scared -- and while none of them really wants to mix it up with the bully, they're quickly getting the idea that the only language the bully understands right now is brute force.
Still, nobody's sure if anybody really has the guts to take on the bully, because he really is the biggest, strongest kid in the neighborhood. Some of the kids are secretly hoping that all they'll have to do is pants the bully in the middle of Main Street, so the bully's -- uh, shortcomings are exposed to the whole town, and the bully is so embarrassed, he bursts into tears and goes home.
The thing nobody counts on is that there are a couple of other really big strong kids (who used to be bigger bullies, but neither of them has punched anybody out in a long time) getting into the act.
One of these guys -- Ivan -- is a lot weaker since his gang broke up a few years ago, but he's still pretty scary, because he has a lot of guns, knives, and brickbats (and he's been seen sharpening his collection of knives lately) -- even though he promised the bully he wouldn't use them. But then, the bully kind of gave him permission to use them, by backing out on a deal the two of them had made a long time ago. Plus, the bully's been messing around in Ivan's backyard, where Ivan's got a bunch of pennies buried in coffee cans. And Ivan is very protective of his penny collection.
Then there's this other big dude -- huge, really -- called Pao (as in "pow!"), who's a lot older and tougher than most of the other kids. Pao hasn't punched out anybody in a long time either -- but everybody in the whole town is afraid of making him mad, because if he ever decided to hit you, he could kill you with one punch. And the other thing about Pao is that nobody can really figure out what's going on in his head -- he's really secretive. He keeps to himself, and keeps everybody else guessing.
Then there's this other kid, who's smaller than Pao, but right now he's as scary as Pao used to be. The scariest thing about this kid is that he's crazy as a woodtick -- a real loose cannon -- who's been stockpiling illegal fireworks. If you get into a fight with this kid, he won't try to beat you up -- his fireworks would do a lot more damage than his fists, and he's been talking about setting them off. The worst part is, the bully has been ignoring this crazy, out-of-control kid. Some people think that's because the bully is scared to start anything with somebody so crazy and dangerous -- and some people think it's because the bully knows this crazy kid can't fire his bottle rockets very far: He'd probably only be able to blow up the bully's cousins, on the other side of town -- cousins the bully really doesn't like anyway.
Oh yeah, one other thing: This crazy kid isn't exactly the best of friends with Pao, but if the bully goes messing with the crazy kid to stop him before he can start lighting his fireworks, Pao is likely to step in and kick the bully's ass.
Then there's Jean-Paul, and Vreeshna, two more kids who have their own awesome collections of fireworks. Jean-Paul probably wouldn't really do anything to the bully, but Vreeshna is kind of a wild card. See, the bully is friends with one of Vreeshna's enemies, Pak -- and Vreeshna and Pak have been threatening to have a major gang war any day now. If that happens, the bully might have to step in and help Pak -- but even the bully is smart enough to realize that this rumble would be so big, it could destroy a lot more than the neighborhood.
Does that make more sense?
From dsdhall on 03/28/03
Excellent!
You could tidy that up a bit, and repost that as an article in its own right!
From doublethink on 03/28/03
Thanks! I might just do that. :)
3:11:39 AM 
|
|
