doublethink: Archives: March 19 - May 18, 2003

You Say Slovenia, and I Say Slovenia-- Uh, Waitasec

Sat, 28 Jun 2003 03:41:40 GMT

Originally Posted March 28, 2003

The only thing I know about Slovakia is what I learned first-hand from your foreign minister, who came to Texas.

-- George W. Bush to a Slovak journalist,
after meeting with Janez Drnovsek,

Prime Minister of Slovenia
Knight-Ridder News Service

June 22, 1999

This just in from Ljubljana! Hundreds of Slovenians hit the streets Wednesday to protest their country's inclusion in President Bush's $75 billion Iraq war budget as a partner in the war against Iraq. The White House asked for $4.5 million for Slovenia as part of the grants to members of the vast "coalition of the willing."

Small problem: The lovely Alpine nation isn't a member. "When we asked for an explanation, the State Department told us we were named in the document by mistake," Prime Minister Anton Rop said at what Reuters called "a hastily arranged news conference."

This of course would not be the first time someone confused Slovenia and Slovakia...

They Got the 'Slov' Part Right
Washington Post

March 28, 2003

Comments

From LGBTBinat on 03/31/03

Doublethink, ya know, everytime I come to read your latest entry in your journal (and you know by reading your stats that I am here a lot), I always scroll back down to this one article. Something kept grabbing me, but I couldn;t work out what, that is until tonight.

It is the quote of Bush*s you have up the top. It shows just how dumb this guy truly is. I guess I am used to seeing how dumb the bastard is, but you think, as a world leader he would atleast take the time to learn something about the country he is _meant_ to be talking about.

From doublethink on 03/31/03

Hey, remember -- this is the guy who A) confused Canadian Prime Minister Chretien with the name of a Canuck dish of french fries and gravy, B) asked if Brazil had "blacks, too?" and C) managed to reconfigure U.S. geography in his own head so that Texas practically butts up against California.

Among many, many other things.

(Can you say "nuclear"? He can't.)

From LGBTBinat on 03/31/03

I never heard about the geography one, but damn I can picture him saying it. LOL

Yes I can say nuclear, only it is with an Aussie accent. ;)

From doublethink on 03/31/03

Here you go:

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

-- George W. Bush cozying up to Angelenos

Los Angeles, 2000

I suppose he might have been trying to be figurative -- but if so, it would be the first time!

Quick Takes

Sat, 28 Jun 2003 03:36:19 GMT

Originally Posted March 28, 2003

The war against Iraq was going extremely well, Prime Minister John Howard said today...

"I believe in all the circumstances (it is) going extremely well," he told reporters.

"To those who are suggesting that because it hasn't in effect resulted in complete victory in the space of a week, I suggest they take a reality check and understand a number of things."

War is going 'extremely well', says Howard

Sydney Morning Herald

March 28, 2003

"Complete victory"? Those boys rationed down to a single bottle of water per day would probably settle for one lousy supply convoy getting to its destination.

Or do you mean it's going "extremely well" because the only Australian casualty so far has been a news cameraman?

Bush has said he believes, as commander-in-chief, that he should be the last person in the chain of command to express doubts or worries about what his administration is doing, fearing that would quickly demoralize his team.

CEO Bush No Longer Delegates Message

Washington Post

March 27, 2003

So, Georgie, you're afraid to hurt somebody's feelings by questioning the massive screw-ups in Iraq? Or were you ever in the driver's seat at all? Well, at least we know who's not in charge. Call to tell us who's really calling the shots? Rove, Cheney, Rummy, Perle? Or all of the above?

Oh, wait a minute! If Georgie isn't really running the show, that's what John Howard must have meant by things going "extremely well."

US-led forces have yet to get their hands on Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein but they may have hit him where it hurts -- sinking his luxurious yacht, a British commander said.

Allies sink Saddam's yacht: report
News.com.au

March 28, 2003

And I was worried that we weren't making any progress. Now, let's blow up his SUV -- that'll really hurt!

Despite official statements that everything is fine on America's southern border, the Bush administration seems to be giving cold treatment to Mexican President Vicente Fox after Mexico's decision not to back the U.S. stand on Iraq in the U.N. Security Council.

In sharp contrast to their much-publicized friendship two years ago, when they bragged about being on the phone constantly to consult on major issues, President Bush waited four days before returning a call from the Mexican president, senior U.S. officials told me.

"Fox wanted to test the waters, to see how the relationship was," says one U.S. official familiar with the conversation. "He should realize that the relationship has been affected."

Bush putting Mexican president on hold
Miami Herald

March 27, 2003

That's right, Georgie, piss off both our nearest neighbors. At least Fox has the class not to stay mad about Javier Medina.

Felicitaciones, Señor Presidente, para tener los cojones para hacer el primer gesto de amistad. Me disculpo por el "hissy fit" de Señor Bush.

Despite the desert conditions of the Iraqi campaign, many American soldiers are sporting deep-green combat fatigues. Why are some troops donning woodland camouflage?

According to published reports, the Pentagon simply goofed by not anticipating the demand for sand-colored desert fatigues, formally known as battle-dress uniforms. When Army and Marine units were preparing for deployment, several discovered that they lacked enough desert BDUs to outfit each soldier with the requisite three outfits. The UPI reports that the Army's 4th Infantry Division, headquartered at Fort Hood, Texas, chose to dress all its troops in the more traditional green fatigues -- commonly referred to as woodland BDUs -- rather than have only some don desert dress.

Homogeneity is generally preferred among military commanders...

Oh, heavens, that makes all the sense in the world! Mixing dark-green camouflage and desert-sand would be like wearing white after Labor Day! We simply can't sacrifice good fashion sense for a little safety, can we?

Military leaders insist that the shortage of desert BDUs will not affect the safety of American soldiers. They point out that Iraq's terrain is not entirely Sahara-like, and that green camouflage may actually work better near the banks of the Euphrates River, where vegetation and mud are present.

Why Are U.S. Troops Wearing Dark-Green Camouflage?
Slate

March 26, 2003

What a relief. Now we just have to hold our collective breath until they make it to the river. But considering their progress so far...

Ignoring a presidential ban, Afghanistan's farmers are growing more opium poppies than ever throughout the country, including areas previously free of the crop, officials said Thursday...

The production of opium, from which heroin is refined, was wiped out under the hard-line Taliban regime, but farmers began planting it again when the religious militia was deposed in 2001 during the U.S.-led war on terror. Some farmers ripped up their wheat fields to plant the lucrative drug-producing plant, which brings in hundreds of times the revenue.

Afghanistan's Farmers Growing More Opium
Newsday

March 27, 2003

Oh, so that's what we "liberated" Afghanistan for!

Or is there some sort of dirty deal in the works?

April, 1978: Soviet-backed coup in Afghanistan sets stage for explosive growth in Southwest Asian heroin trade. New Marxist regime undertakes vigorous anti-narcotics campaign aimed at suppressing poppy production, triggering a revolt by semi-autonomous tribal groups that traditionally raised opium for export. The CIA-supported rebel Mujahedeen begins expanding production to finance their insurgency. Between 1982 and 1989, during which time the CIA ships billions of dollars in weapons and other aid to guerrilla forces, annual opium production in Afghanistan increases to about 800 tons from 250 tons. By 1986, the State Department admits that Afghanistan is 'probably the world's largest producer of opium for export' and 'the poppy source for a majority of the Southwest Asian heroin found in the United States.' U.S. officials, however, fail to take action to curb production. Their silence not only serves to maintain public support for the Mujahedeen, it also smooths relations with Pakistan, whose leaders, deeply implicated in the heroin trade, help channel CIA support to the Afghan rebels.

A Tangled Web: A History of CIA Complicity

in Drug International Trafficking

Federation of American Scientists

Tommy Franks "Reveals" Something We Already Knew

Sat, 28 Jun 2003 03:29:14 GMT

Originally Posted March 28, 2003

Time magazine reports that the president poked his head into the office of Condoleezza Rice, his national security adviser, in March 2002 and told three senators sitting there: "[Expletive deleted] Saddam. We’re taking him out."

How long has war been in the cards?

MSNBC

March 27, 2003

Now, that's just wrong. Georgie would never say "expletive deleted." Heck, he probably couldn't even pronounce the word "expletive." What he really said was, "F--k Saddam. We’re taking him out."

That word, he can pronounce. Just ask Al Hunt. In fact, you'd be surprised at some of the two-syllable words Georgie can pronounce, with very little effort.

What do you mean, I missed the point of the article? As they say in Texas, not hardly. You think the idea of invading Iraq -- inspections be damned -- just popped into Little Georgie's head in March of 2002?

Haven't you been listening? The plans have been in the works for ages; Wolfowitz's people finally put it on paper in early 1992, and the newly-formed PNAC presented the plan to Bill Clinton in 1998.

Hey, don't get on Bill's case -- King George I had plenty of opportunity to take out Saddam, and declined. The momentum from the "win" in Kuwait would have been enough to garner support both at home and abroad -- and might have even won Poppy another four years in office.

(Come to think of it, if we'd known all along Iraq was such a threat, why didn't Little George make it a major talking point of Campaign 2000?)

And don't give me that tired old excuse that congressional Democrats wouldn't let George I act on his own. The CIA director-cum-Veep and his ex-boss waged unconscionable war, trained, funded, and armed terrorists (hint: initials include OBL and SH), and installed puppet dictators throughout the Mideast and Latin America without so much as a "screw you" to Congress or the American people, for far less legal or ethical reasons (and with far more disastrous results) than Poppy could have armed himself with.

(And they accuse peaceniks of "aiding and comforting the enemy"?)

So don't try to feed me that old line about Bush I being "prevented" from doing any damned thing he wanted.

What Poppy did do was miss his window of opportunity -- and the neo-cons had to wait for Junior to hit the trifecta.

So, the big, whoop-de-doo Franks "revelation" is old news -- at least to those of us who have been paying attention.

Still, one wonders if Georgie Boy has fingers enough to plug any more leaks.

Oh, THANK YOU, William R. Schaffer of Tacoma, Washington

Sat, 28 Jun 2003 03:22:36 GMT

Originally Posted March 28, 2003

...who wrote a letter to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, whining about "left-wing" media, calling us peaceniks "America bashers" who "spend their nights burning flags" (oh, yeah, right, can't walk through my living room for all the ashes!) and "starting fights with those who oppose their views" (sure -- and you oughta see the other guy!), yada yada yada ad nauseum -- the same paranoid crap I've heard a thousand times... but for one difference:

Today, I salute YOU, Mr. William R. Schaffer, for giving me the opportunity to say something I have longed to say, all my life, to an ignorant, brainwashed, hysterical, reactionary, hypocritical, First-Amendment-usurping, robotic, Limbaugh-parroting, garden-variety extremist warmonger who has never entertained an original thought in his life.

You wrote:

I'm ashamed to be living here and ashamed to be part of the fighting force protecting their rights.

And I reply:

Mr. Schaffer...
Love it or leave it!

Damn, that felt good!

Comments

From P---- on 03/28/03

Hey! No fair stealing our trite and hackneyed phrases!

Just wait. Someday I'll find a way to use one of you guys's trite, hackneyed phrases against you! And then I'll be all like, "No blood for oil!" all over your butt. Just wait and see.

FYI, the 2003 Federal Homeland Security Act which was passed this morning prohibits the use of more than three adjectives in referring to registered Republicans. Also, as a matter of national security, all hyphenated adjectives are now prohibited when discussing persons who support Operation Iraqi Freedom. Please edit your description of Mr. Schaffer so that you are in compliance with all legal requirements, or I shall have no choice but to report you to the proper authorities.

(See? I could have so easily been a self-righteous, right-wing-baiting comsymp! :-) It's so much fun! And then I would get a link in your "Eyes Wide Open" (i.e., "Agrees with Me") section! LOL)

From doublethink on 03/28/03

If it'll make you feel better, I'll stand with you outside Tom Daschle's office (or Hillary's, or Gep's, or any one of those DINOs) with "No Blood for Oil" signs. I'd be more than happy to call those opportunistic hypocrites on the carpet. (That was only one adjective -- but you will tell me if words of five or more syllables are tabu, won't you?)

No more than three adjectives? Damn. I'll have to consult my Newspeak dictionary. But if memory serves, I think I can replace all the adjectives with one word: doubleplusbad.

And, P----, the eternal optimist in me envisions the day you, too, will claim your rightful place in the Left-Wing Journalers Hall of Fame at right. I have hope for everyone! *evil grin*

From P---- on 03/28/03

You may use as many adjectives as you wish in referring to DINOs or other Democrats. Only registered Republicans and persons who sincerely support Operation Iraqi Freedom are protected under the 2003 Homeland Security Act. If you are at a loss for adjectives to refer to Democrats/DINOs, please so advise, and I will be happy to lend you a few of mine.

Please: If you ever feel that I have qualified for your Agrees with Me list, I expect that you will, being an honorable man, shoot me. (Hey, you're the gun guy, not me.)

Similarly, I will give you my solemn vow that if I ever feel compelled to put you in any listing of "People Who Have Learned From History", or similarly question-begging category which means "Agrees with P----", I will - oh, I don't know, how do you want to go? I'm not much with a gun; just my measly USAF training, which was long ago.

I'll let you choose. :-)

From doublethink on 03/28/03

Trust me -- I'll let you know. One thing you'll find is that I will admit to being wrong when proven so. (And believe me, I am dying for you or anyone else to prove me dead-wrong about Pax Americana.)

In the meantime...

P----, where in the world did you ever get the idea I was a guy?

Hmm, maybe it's because I don't "write female" (you know, using those unnecessary, self-undermining qualifier sentences: "I think..." and "It's only my opinion, but..." and "Maybe I don't know much, but...").

Well, I always do take it as a compliment that I can play just as well as the boys. :D

From jadedgrrl on 03/30/03

haha! when i realized you were a grrl i'm like 'whoa, a grrl with 'tude, how totally fucking cool!'

From doublethink on 03/30/03

LOL! From one grrl with a 'tude to another: Gracias, chica! :)

I Couldn't Make Up a Headline This Scary

Sun, 08 Jun 2003 10:11:39 GMT

Originally Posted March 27, 2003

Moscow launches intercontinental ballistic missile

The Russian military has launched a test intercontinental ballistic missile from its northwestern Plisetsk base, military officials said.

The Topol rocket, which was 18 years old, was fired at the Kamchatka peninsula, the usual target for most Russian intercontinental test sights.

Military officials told AFP that the launch was not linked with the United States' decision to launch the Iraqi war...

When contacted by AFP earlier, a Russian military space agency official had refused to answer whether the test had been planned before or after the US-British military attack on Iraq...

Sydney Morning Herald

March 28, 2003

Let's see now... With a high concentration of U.S. troops within spitting distance of Russia's backdoor, and a high probability Kim Il Jung is eyeing a target anywhere from the Aleutians to Hawaii to San Francisco...

Yep, I'd say "they" have us pretty well covered. Like 275 million sitting ducks.

Anyone up for pushing France or India over the edge?

I can already smell the biggest barbecue in the world.

Thanks, George. I feel a LOT safer now.

Comments

From LostDreamer on 03/27/03

that last sentence sounds like sarcasm...i think that might be bad. seeing as how i am politically challenged...what does that entry mean. feel free to use food as an example again..or if you dont want to explain it to me thats ok too. hahahaha.

From P---- on 03/28/03

Hey, LostDreamer. doublethink already used a food example: "I can already smell the biggest barbecue in the world." :-)

Here's another one. Let's say Taco Bell had these super-gigantic burritos that they could mount on intercontinental missiles. And then McDonald's had these giant cheeseburgers that they could shoot out of submarines . . . .

Ah, geez, I can't do this. doublethink's gonna have to do it.

-P----

From doublethink on 03/28/03

Okay, LD, I'll give it a shot. No food this time, though...

It's like this: Most of the kids in the neighborhood are fed up with the neighborhood bully. He has a long history of pushing everybody else around all the time, stealing smaller kids' lunch money, and beating up on kids who can't defend themselves. (He also makes a lot of threats to bigger kids who can defend themselves, but until recently he's been pretty good at talking his way out of fighting them, because he doesn't really know if he can kick their butts.) Even the two kids who live right next-door to the bully have finally come out and said they're mad at him -- and these two have always been pretty quiet, because they didn't want to upset him.

Well, now there's a lot of gossip racing through the neighborhood. The buzz sounds like a bunch of the other kids, including a few who used to belong to the bully's old gang, are planning on ganging up on the bully and beating the crap out of him.

They've all tried talking to him, but it hasn't worked. It's not that the bully is stupid or anything, but right now, he's stuck on this idea that he's going to be top dog of the whole neighborhood, no matter what anybody else wants -- and there's been no way to make the bully listen. A lot of the kids who used to belong to his gang are surprised, and scared -- and while none of them really wants to mix it up with the bully, they're quickly getting the idea that the only language the bully understands right now is brute force.

Still, nobody's sure if anybody really has the guts to take on the bully, because he really is the biggest, strongest kid in the neighborhood. Some of the kids are secretly hoping that all they'll have to do is pants the bully in the middle of Main Street, so the bully's -- uh, shortcomings are exposed to the whole town, and the bully is so embarrassed, he bursts into tears and goes home.

The thing nobody counts on is that there are a couple of other really big strong kids (who used to be bigger bullies, but neither of them has punched anybody out in a long time) getting into the act.

One of these guys -- Ivan -- is a lot weaker since his gang broke up a few years ago, but he's still pretty scary, because he has a lot of guns, knives, and brickbats (and he's been seen sharpening his collection of knives lately) -- even though he promised the bully he wouldn't use them. But then, the bully kind of gave him permission to use them, by backing out on a deal the two of them had made a long time ago. Plus, the bully's been messing around in Ivan's backyard, where Ivan's got a bunch of pennies buried in coffee cans. And Ivan is very protective of his penny collection.

Then there's this other big dude -- huge, really -- called Pao (as in "pow!"), who's a lot older and tougher than most of the other kids. Pao hasn't punched out anybody in a long time either -- but everybody in the whole town is afraid of making him mad, because if he ever decided to hit you, he could kill you with one punch. And the other thing about Pao is that nobody can really figure out what's going on in his head -- he's really secretive. He keeps to himself, and keeps everybody else guessing.

Then there's this other kid, who's smaller than Pao, but right now he's as scary as Pao used to be. The scariest thing about this kid is that he's crazy as a woodtick -- a real loose cannon -- who's been stockpiling illegal fireworks. If you get into a fight with this kid, he won't try to beat you up -- his fireworks would do a lot more damage than his fists, and he's been talking about setting them off. The worst part is, the bully has been ignoring this crazy, out-of-control kid. Some people think that's because the bully is scared to start anything with somebody so crazy and dangerous -- and some people think it's because the bully knows this crazy kid can't fire his bottle rockets very far: He'd probably only be able to blow up the bully's cousins, on the other side of town -- cousins the bully really doesn't like anyway.

Oh yeah, one other thing: This crazy kid isn't exactly the best of friends with Pao, but if the bully goes messing with the crazy kid to stop him before he can start lighting his fireworks, Pao is likely to step in and kick the bully's ass.

Then there's Jean-Paul, and Vreeshna, two more kids who have their own awesome collections of fireworks. Jean-Paul probably wouldn't really do anything to the bully, but Vreeshna is kind of a wild card. See, the bully is friends with one of Vreeshna's enemies, Pak -- and Vreeshna and Pak have been threatening to have a major gang war any day now. If that happens, the bully might have to step in and help Pak -- but even the bully is smart enough to realize that this rumble would be so big, it could destroy a lot more than the neighborhood.

Does that make more sense?

From dsdhall on 03/28/03

Excellent!

You could tidy that up a bit, and repost that as an article in its own right!

From doublethink on 03/28/03

Thanks! I might just do that. :)

'Right from the top'

Sun, 25 May 2003 01:22:49 GMT

Originally Posted March 27, 2003

So, Cellucci wasn't just being an ass all on his own:

U.S. Ambassador Paul Cellucci was delivering a rebuke straight from President George W. Bush's White House this week when he complained of Canada's refusal to participate in the war in Iraq, U.S. officials confirmed yesterday.

Despite Liberal government assurances that the Bush administration had accepted the Canadian decision gracefully, U.S. officials say Mr. Bush and his advisers are furious, not only with the decision to stay out of the battle but also with what they say is the anti-American rhetoric that Prime Minister Jean Chrétien has tolerated.

Sources said national security adviser Condoleezza Rice consulted Mr. Cellucci about the message he was to deliver at a breakfast speech on Tuesday in Toronto.

"This came right from the top," one U.S. official said.

When Mr. Chrétien announced the Canadian position, Liberal ministers had assured the Bush team that, while Canada would not participate in the war, it also would not criticize the U.S. and British effort in Iraq.

However, American officials noted that Mr. Chrétien quickly characterized the war as "unjustified" and then failed to condemn Natural Resources Minister Herb Dhaliwal, who called Mr. Bush a "failed statesman." ...

U.S. diplomats have delivered similar messages in other countries that have failed to back the war in Iraq. In Mexico, which had a key seat on the Security Council, U.S. Ambassador Tony Garza, a Texas friend of Mr. Bush, irritated many Mexicans earlier this month when he said that the U.S. administration would not be "placated" by any half-hearted support from its neighbors.

...Mr. Cellucci warned obliquely that there could be some disruption in Canada-U.S. trade relations, saying "security will trump trade." ...

...Mr. Bush is scheduled to travel to Ottawa* for an official visit in early May.

Mr. Cellucci suggested, however, that Mr. Bush is a wartime president and may have to cancel the visit.

White House Consulted Cellucci on Rebuke

Globe & Mail

March 27, 2003

* Guess Canada has exempted Georgie's DUI.