Friday, October 29, 2004

The SADness of October Days I have to close up the plant room for the winter. Can't afford to heat it, so all the begonias and ferns are settling in, in and around the bathtub. They seem happy, and this will make the occasional bath more of a project, and so slow me down. I ran the well dry, last one I took, so there will have to be a very good reason to risk it now. Those little showers aren't so bad. We did in fact get out of here yesterday, waited until things seemed soggy and melted enough and then just floored it down the road. Brother and I laid down our own set of guide tracks. Got the mail, bought provisions to get us through another week or so. Stopped up at my friend's place to see what's the deal, anyway? But he's in the middle of a despair I can't touch. And maybe my poetry exercises, in particular the suggestive moon poem, went too far, and aggravated this. I wouldn't have risked sharing it with him--I hate embarrassing him--but he insisted I read it to him on the phone yesterday morning. He said it was beautiful, but he made strangled noises when I told him I had posted it here. I wish this bothered me more, because I do love him. Maybe that's why. Maybe I can make myself believe that it's better for him that he distance himself from someone who's only just testing the water, because I'm gonna jump in one way or the other, and I'd hate to splash all over someone who wants to stay dry. 10:04:49 AM    comment []