Thursday, March 3, 2005

Bright. Not a shred of snow remains today. I prepare for a trudge on the hill. A trudge. I strive to obey my conscious mind over the protests of my inner brat. I recognize these deep early sleeps as my heart not beating (dreams: freeways, traffic jams). After I walk, I am alert and productive late into the night. I must remember this. Oxygen is sort of important.

I lost these notes from Tuesday. This was my March 1st meander, a brief but encouraging stroll, written up just before sleep:

MARCH ONE--and spring's first moth beats itself to tatters on this upstairs window, mad for my reading lamp. This evening I walked "inland"--away from the highway, east toward the mountains. I observed the neighboring cottonwoods. I found thin smears of balsam protecting the leaf buds and my heart sang. Hawks mated in their high mess of a nest in the top of a cottonwood that stands across the creek. I heard cries. The dogs ran too far away, anticipating my route, thinking me capable of that much ambition. So far separated from them at dusk, I felt a pang lion fear I haven't had before.

Winter was sweeping up the crumbs of itself, sky all hues of gray, faceted in fierce knife-edged lenticulars. And adrift lower down before it the ridiculous poofs of spring, soft and moist and sherbet-colored, with generously frayed dissolving margins.

It's late. The rain comes down softly. The purr of the March lion.



10:16:54 AM    comment []