We're a quiet bunch so far today. We had a solid rest. Fell asleep looking out at stars, woke up to rain. The sky is unsettled now (nearly noon), cloud cover breaking apart.
I wrapped a half-dozen items to mail. I did a long slow Tarot study that encouraged me greatly. I read and then tried to gain momentum on my own pages. I won't say I failed. But I put down nothing I could keep.
I'm going to get these suddenly brutal midlife symptoms under control--the flashes and sweats and cottonmind. Did some research this morning. In her book The Wisdom of Menopause Christiane Northrup M.D. writes that these are not "symptoms," but labor pains; I am giving birth to my new self. This is a nice way to think about it. I will experiment with isoflavones--soy, basically. Seems promising. My first concoction was quite good--a smoothie made of tofu and OJ and banana and pineapple and ice cubes. And for supper I'll have edamame alongside whatever else I make. It will be good for Brian, too; I read that isoflavones from soy have been shown to protect against prostate cancer and prostatitis. We just won't overdo it.
And, pressed to the wall, I meditate, as I so often forget to do otherwise. Nothing relieves anxiety better, I think, because then the reasons behind ugly situations become clear, one's responsibility for one's circumstances becomes obvious, and solutions pour in. If I can follow through at even a minimal level, I think I'll have this chaos licked.
I very much would like to have another bookstore in the east--my own, this time--in some quiet place. And use it for more than selling books (which, in a quiet place, is unlikely to support anyone). I'm brainstorming toward that end.
Meanwhile I'll continue with the postcards and notecards. Processing costs and service fees force my prices up so high I can't imagine anyone actually buying any, but we persevere. I'm just learning, at this stage. These miscellaneous items represent Round One of Jordan Rose Mills, my publishing outfit--small steps in that direction. Soon to come (before the end of the year)--chapbooks (not by me, certainly), under several imprints. Stay tuned.
12:47:02 PM 
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