Tuesday night
I have been low on words to describe the world as we uncover and interpret it in the here and now. I had a mind-shattering dream I tried to convey on Sunday. Naturally no one but the dreamer is likely to respond with force to any dream, which is by definition tailored to that peculiar psyche and vibrates the wires that connect the stars and planets of its constellations. Dreams come from pre-word parts of us, or not pre-, exactly, but a place that transcends the coarse verbal translation that inevitably is traitor to authentic experience. The most accurate manifestation truly conflagrations in the mind that arrive behind the spark-showers of image striking image.
These days are empty with confusions, odd persisting health anomalies. All systems will interact properly and smoothly perhaps only when some great happiness arrives. And if my studies tell me anything true, it's that such happiness is ever-present, and the point is to reach in and draw it out, or perhaps to stand back and let it take over.
Itches and twitches behind windows that give on summer snow. The creek had found its warble, a lilt and rhythm that recites the best of early summer, when the latest storm system swept in and goaded it back to this inarticulate rage. I wonder if it wants to rest.
My old laptop died this morning (or entered coma). I dragged out another, an even older and feebler model, and it sprang to life like a vintage VW in a Woody Allen movie. Production for use. I won't use this little Powerbook 190 to death as I did the 5300. Email only, and some keyboarding.
Last night I was awake until 3, and then at 6 a flicker landed at my window and screamed three times. What an alarm! It knocked hard at the board siding for 15 minutes. I didn't shoo it off; those boards are so full of bugs it could only be a good thing to develop a symbiosis with a hidepecker. But the cry and the knocking brought the whole household to its feet, and so we were up, and I passed the day in semistupor. I drove out for the first time since Friday and mailed two books, visited the bank, bought milk and bananas. I did throw together a very pretty supper of turkey-based goulash, spring greens salad, and sourdough toast rubbed in garlic and olive oil. I landed upstairs on my bed at 7:30. It would have been a good time to sleep, but I have to wait for my brother's bedtime before I can crash. Too sleepy to read. Tomorrow we must drive out early for his dental appointment on the other side of the mountain.
...
window open on the black night for some blessed sleeping air and water sound. taste of wood smoke enters, the last fume of the fire I made to eat supper by...
2:41:50 PM 
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