Thursday, June 23, 2005

Old summer feelings wash up against seawalls of memory. Slant late light against the vacant ridge triggers a surge and swell of the past. On the radio "Time of the Season," and I remember the summers of high-school years, being kissed and kissed, so badly, in the tall grass at Lake Okoboji. And it's here in this moment. I've just read "The Master" (in The Heart of Awareness: A Translation of the Ashtavatera Gita): The sorrows of duty, like the heat of the sun, have scorched your heart. But let stillness fall on you with its sweet and cooling showers, and you will find happiness. For the world is nothing. It's only an idea. But the essence of what is and what is not can never fail. There was a meme lying around here someplace--five things I miss from childhood. I couldn't remember anything I missed. But I guess I miss dreaming about the future--the warm future family that lived in generations of my mind. And I miss all I planned to be--I was so famous to myself back then. I miss heavenly transports. Those of maturity lack a dimension of surrender built into childhood ecstasies at clouds and strains of music, breezes and birdsong, the tip of the tail of a red fox disappearing into a stand of corn. And the weird thrill of crowds--not the terror of Other People, as in classes and at parties, but hurling your truant body into throngs of midday city streets. The energy that washed over along with the voices and smells. Riding full buses and not getting off at the school stop but staying and studying the other riders getting on and departing, the families and the crazy people. At the end of the line--the routes all seemed to end at the ocean--walking in the gray to the rhythm of low water, and around the shut-up vendors on the unpopulated piers. And feeling brave, powerful even, behind my unprotected, uninformed, secret, solitary explorations. And planning my escape. And executing it. 8:27:18 PM    comment []

Support Freedom of Speech: Adopt A Chinese Blogger! Today's Really Good Idea from Robin Good:  ... A blog (or any website, really) using an independent hosting service hosts a blocked blog. (This simply means creating a subdirectory where the adopted blog can be published and store its files.) The host blog should not have a significant readership in the country where the adopted blog is blocked, because the host blog is running a (small) risk of being blocked in that country. The adopted blog is run completely independently of its host, via a blog client such as Blogger, Movable Type, or WordPress? (if the host has installed Movable Type or Word Press and is willing to share the engine). The adopted blog should link back to its host on its main page, and it would be appreciated if it also included a small Adopt a Blog banner to help promote awareness of the program. The host blog could also display a small Adopt a Blog banner or a link to its adopted blog if it so chose. By distributing the blocked blogs across a variety of hosts, the task of blocking a large number of blogs becomes increasingly difficult. If any adopted blog is blocked, it can still abandon its host and move onto a new one. ... Click here for the whole nine yards! 1:32:58 PM    comment []

My words disappeared for a long time (for me)--weeks--and I hope are creeping back now. Yesterday a chiropractor friend worked with me for two hours on circulatory and neurological issues and we are devising a plan of attack. Gave me some strange powder to drink in hot water and so I did and things began opening. Placebo, we may call it, yet I've never responded much to medicines based merely on belief, so it must be doing something. (It's just a fizzy magnesium supplement, tastes like Alka-Seltzer.) I awoke at 4 a.m., moonlight screaming in every window and restless pets pacing around. Got up and let creatures out and then in again, and burrowed back into bed. As I faded back into sleep a poem composed itself on the screen of my mind--Eureka!--and I struggled awake, grasping at the receding filaments of it, but no use. All I can remember is that it was a poem about America, about America's perfumed thigh, an image from the very middle of the poem, and I can't remember what preceded or followed it. I have a sense that what followed it wasn't particularly sweet, though. But I am hopeful. I know I am starting to be well: I've made a couple of outlines and listed ideas for book proposals and lines are coming to me on their own; this began to happen late last night. It's been a long time since I remembered what I was going to write about. This is good. The creek is low enough to walk across to the llamas now. This is both good and bad: it will be easier now to reach them with food and water, but it means the creek is not far from drying up and I may have to start hauling water in for them. This is not an impossible situation, though. I think we'll get through OK. I have heard that hay prices are going through the roof now, by the way, because although we have had lots of rain and so irrigation costs have been zero, we have also had lots of rain, and no one can harvest because the hay stays wet. I'll start putting bales by next week, buying a few at a time, so we'll have plenty on hand come late summer and fall, when the grasses die. There's no longer a meander of water through the pasture to keep things going. I have received the following proposal in an email. Did you? Whaddya think--should we go for it? Greetings from me and my family, Getting your contact was not an easy task because since I am not computer literate, I ordered my son to seek a partner very far away and he went to the institute of International Business to apply and he paid them the charges. My name is NOH DAE-JUNG, The brother of GENERAL. NOH TAE-WOO, the former President of South Korea who ascended to power through a popular electoral victory in 1988 to 1992. After serving duly, he was accused of mass embezzlement which ran into billions of won because of the GREAT OLYMPICS 1988 which brought Korea to the world lime light, and was arrested but released after long years of incarceration and now under scrutiny. Before my brother's was overthrown, I secretly siphoned the sum of 30 mil United States Currency out of Seoul and deposited the money with a security firm that transports valuable goods and through diplomatic means.I am contacting you because I want you to deal with the security company and claim the money on my behalf since I have declared that the consignment belong to my foreign business partner. You shall also be required to assist me in investment in your country. I expect you to declare what percentage of the total money you will take for your assistance. When I receive your positive response I will let you know where the security company is and the payment pin code to claim the money which is very important.we do not want the government of my Country to know about the money because they will believe I got the money from my brother while he was still in office as president .Once you confirm the receipt of the money ,I will come over with my Children to your Country or any Country in Europe to start a new life with my Family. As soon as payment is effected, and the amount mentioned above is successfully transferred into your account, we intend to use our own share in acquiring some estates abroad. For this too you shall also be our overseas manager of all our properties and you will be paid based on a certain percentage agreed on by both parties. For now, let all our communication be by e-mail because my line is right now connected to the South Korean Telecommunication Network services therefore we can not take the chances of being heard. Thank you in anticipation of your cooperation. Yours faithfully, Noh Dae-Jung. 11:23:24 AM    comment []