The Feds Claim Poor
Miss California Seduced Her Rapists
The Parodist
Editor's Note: This story was written in response to Scott Rosenberg's blog suggesting that Californian's should be impeaching FERC rather than the governor. http://blogs.salon.com/0000014/2003/06/27.html#a388
The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission is usually called “FERC” and it has lost its marbles. The poor thing has become unhinged. Its logical thinking resembles Rush Limbaugh’s argument that in order to be fair and principled, congress must give child tax credits to the childless.
Just think how salacious the two republican commissioners (Pat Wood III, the Chairman and Nora Brownell, both appointees of President Bush) have become. According to them, Miss California is the biggest hussy in the union:
“Why she flaunted herself in front of the world, inviting her own rape. She made holes in her apparel, which were definitely provocative openings that allowed glimpses of her nudity and private parts. She tossed her body around seductively, lifted up her skirts and with such behavior aroused the helpless energy companies into an uncontrollable desire to gang rape her. So naturally they abused her and had their way with her. But they couldn’t help it. It was all her fault so she has to pay all those contracts she signed.”
Oh, poor unhinged FERC, can’t you see those contracts she signed as she struggled to free herself from the rapists were made under duress? Nope. Old Pat Wood categorized those contracts as “fair, negotiated, hard-fought deals.” I think he got the “hard fought” part kind of twisted, don’t you?
FERC has unwittingly copied an oft-repeated defense of convicted rapists. (Even some murderers and con men have used it.) It’s “The victim made me do it,” defense. The only problem is the law consistently rejects it. But as I said, FERC can’t help it. Its sunk to absurdity. Its regulatory job forgotten and overridden by the rules in the loony bin where the inmates are in charge.
Take a look at poor Pat Wood III, the Chairman of FERC. He can’t help it. Ken Lay (the former head of Enron) recommended him for his first job with Governor Bush way back in Texas. It wasn’t his fault he was appointed to head the energy commission in Texas. (Wood denies that Lay had anything to do with his appointment. He wrote a letter to Rep. Henry Waxman stating that he knew Bush had not relied on Ken Lay’s endorsement since during his job interview with Bush, he was able to read, upside-down and across the Governor’s desk, the actual letter Bush relied on in appointing him—and it wasn’t Lay’s!)
Well then, there he was minding his own business in Texas and up comes that upstart Ken Lay again. This time Lay was appointed to the presidential transition team under Dick Cheney. His job was to interview applicants to the FERC. It wasn’t Pat Wood’s fault Ken Lay recommended him again, this time George W. was going to be president. It wasn’t Pat Wood’s fault that he got the job again. And lo and behold, it happened so fast, poor Pat Wood was stuck in the middle of a crisis in California, a state he didn’t even know was in the U.S. Well naturally, he didn’t order any investigation. He let his staff plug along on eliminating all the various possibilities for the cause of the California energy crisis, and that let him count the ways for two years.
And of course poor Pat Wood never did read the National Energy Policy Report published on May 16, 2001. The one, you know, put out by Dick Cheney and his task force. So poor Pat Wood didn’t know that the prez and the vice prez left their fingerprints in the energy report, revealing they had to have known and had to have remained silent while the rapists were in the act of raping poor Miss California. They never blew a whistle. They just sat back and watched. Oh dear. Scott Rosenberg was right when he said that the unfolding story in California is “a big story.” But the story is the fodder that could bring down the presidency—not just the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission.
For a detailed report with links to documents see the article “Fraud Traced to the White House” at http://www.yuricareport.com.
11:39:05 PM 
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