I must learn to not read the morning paper until after my coffee has kicked in.
The other day, Carol Mosley-Braun bought herself a one-way ticket on the Talbot Hate Train, hopping aboard with all the Relationship Pundits, SUV Drivers, and Corrupt Religious Leaders who have similarly managed to piss me off over breakfast.
She was discussing a legitimate issue - the need for more female and minority representation in government - but she totally poisoned me against her cause when she uttered this little gem:
“Women tend to be oriented toward practical solutions and problem solving. If you want practical solutions that solve multiple problems, turn the problem over to a woman.”
Here we go again.
It’s all fine and dandy to point out that women do, in fact, have the skills necessary to succeed in politics or business. Like the kids say, “Duh.” But could you imagine the outcry if that comment had been made by a man about men? There’d be rioting in the streets. Why? Because it’s a sexist comment all gussied up to look like it’s really saying something positive.
This is a trick they’ve played on us throughout history, and shame on you, Carol Mosley-Braun, for falling for it. They usually base it on biology. You know, women are more empathetic, more willing to talk through problems, more open with their feelings - how very Venutian it all is - all because we have the capacity to bear and nourish children. That somehow translates into a biological imperative to be more loving and nurturing to everyone around us.
Well, we may have the physical capacity to be all this, but take my word for it - physical capacity does not a nurturing nature ensure, and I know some pretty cold-ass women who can attest to that. Hell, I’m one of them.
Recently, though, in an effort to update this tired old cliché, they’ve taken this argument out of the biological realm and translated it into our daily experience. Nowadays, or so they extrapolate, we find that women are good at multitasking because we’re so used to juggling home, family, and work concerns that we’re naturally more efficient than men.
Well, I multitask pretty damn well (just watch how efficiently I can surf the Web while mentally composing the brilliant prose you’re reading right now), and the only things I juggle are my car, my condo, and my diabetic cat. So try again, Dr. Joyce Brothers. Women just do what they have to do, and I’m betting that if you were to put a man in the same situation he’d rise to the occasion quite admirably (but of course that will never happen for reasons I’ll get into in another blog someday).
I don’t understand this endless compulsion we have to constantly arrange and organize everything along gender lines. And I think women in particular do ourselves a tremendous disservice when we try to assign specific character attributes to others based on sex. Why? Well, for starters, whenever you start making sweeping generalizations about the virtues of one sex over another you’re a sexist. Period. No, you there in the back, put your hand down and don’t argue with me. You’re a sexist. And, need I point this out, sexism has not exactly been a friend to women over the past couple of hundred years so why in the world would we embrace it in this case? Take my word for it - if there’s a way that these types of generalizations, however complimentary, can be used against us, someone will find a way to do it.
Same goes for the little patches of woman-only turf we try to stake out for ourselves. We struggle to open our own health clubs, run our own web sites, start our own schools, arguing that these are the only places women can truly thrive (once again, turn this around and imagine what would happen if men tried this argument - or pick up a history book and see for yourself what happened when they did just that). The irony here is, of course, that these meaningless little victories will eventually be turned on their heads and used against us. After all, what’s the point of having an exclusive club if there’s no power attached to it? It’s the societal equivalent of picking up your football and going home - except that you’re on the losing team and it’s the old, deflated football no one wants to play with anyway. The other team will always have the better ball, and they’ll laugh at your back, spread out over the entire field you’ve vacated, and kick the shit out of the teammates you’ve left behind. Yeah, that’s progress, all right.
I consider myself a feminist, and I’m amazed that my fellow feminists don’t get this. I was having a conversation with someone the other day about single-sex colleges, and I’m sorry, but I just don’t buy the idea. Not one bit.
Despite the fact that some of them are pretty damn good - hey, my best friend went to Simmons and she’s one of the smartest people I know - that has more to do with the caliber of students and the quality of the faculty than the fact that it is (or was) women only. Sure, the women who come out of these high quality schools are high achievers - that’s why they were accepted by those schools!
The argument in favor of single sex education seems to boil down to the following: women do better in these institutions because they gain confidence in a single-sex environment when they’re not distracted, intimidated, or overlooked in the presence of men.
Well, in the first place, isn’t college supposed to give you confidence anyway? If you’re attending a top-drawer educational institution like Smith, Mt. Holyoke, or Simmons, odds are you’re a smart person interacting on a daily basis with a lot of other smart people - as confidence builders go, that’s got to be right up there. And if it’s not, then you’ve got some more deeply rooted self esteem issues that have nothing to do with your gender.
As for being distracted by men? Honey, get over yourself, will you? There is an entire population of men running around out there, and you’re going to have to learn how to deal with them sooner or later. Giving them free reign of that world while you shrink away in you little pink-and-ivory tower isn’t going to make things any easier on you when you finally deign to come down and join the rest of us down here on Planet Earth. You think you’ll be distracted in the classroom? Let me tell you something - it’s a thousand times more distracting in the office, and if you don’t figure out how to deal with it sooner rather than later you’re destined for a long and unremarkable career filing microfilm in a dark, lonely basement somewhere in the bowels of Office Park Hell.
Oh, no. You again? You in the back, waving that study about how teachers and college professors consistently ignore women’s input and call on men over and over again? Yeah, I’ve read that one, and if it’s true then shame on them. And it should be incumbent upon them to change their behavior, not incumbent upon us to remove ourselves from the situation. So, if you know the answer, by all means, go ahead and raise that hand (no, not you - I’m sick of you), or just holler it out. Learn how to come out swinging. Like it or not, that’s how things work in the business world, so you‘d best get used to it. Otherwise they’ll chew you up and spit you out like a month-old ladyfinger. And that’s no way to advance a career.
Now let’s talk for a moment about intimidation and harassment. Sexual harassment is a legitimate complaint and it’s a lot more common than people think it is because it’s so ingrained in people’s behavior that a lot of us - male and female - can‘t even recognize it when it pinches us in the ass. But the only way to combat sexual harassment and intimidation is to confront it outright and make it clear that that kind of behavior is not acceptable in any venue. Women who are intimidated and harassed aren’t doing anything wrong, so why should they be the ones to have to alter their lifestyles and plans to avoid intimidation and harassment? Yeah, fighting back is scary, messy, and uncomfortable, but it has to be done. Just ask anyone who remembers what it was like to try to get women the vote. She’ll tell you the same thing. And then I’m sure she’ll tell you it was worth it.
The problem with the Mosley-Braun brand of gender politics is that it focuses way too much on the differences between men and women and not enough on the similarities. Maybe if we spent a little bit more time trying figure out the problems we all have in common, rather than making certain problems all about one sex or another, we’d begin to understand that most of the shit that goes on in the world does affect everyone one way or another. Then we’d all be a lot more interested in fixing that shit, rather than merely dumping all the responsibility on the other guy’s (or girl’s) shoulders and saying, “Well, that’s your problem.”
That’s the way I see it, anyway. Of course, I’m a little crankier than usual because my coffee was interrupted yet again today by the breaking news that there’s a new self-help book on the market advising women over 35 that time is running out and it's up to us to learn how to “market” ourselves to prospective mates.
Sigh. My work is never done.
Move over, Carol. This train’s getting mighty crowded.
11:52:34 AM 
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