HAIL DUBYUS!


An Illustrated Guide to Mendacity and Folly in the Imperium Americanum
by Gregorius alexandrinus,
pictor mendacrium stultorumque
(Gregory of Alexandria--painter of liars and idiots)

Political cartoons and social commentary with Fred'n'Bert of the Squirrel News Network, Lafayette Park, Washington, DC
Updated MWF weekly, except holidays

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HAIL DUBYUS!

  Friday, September 29, 2006

A picture named cut_and_run.jpg (AP) Bush strikes back at Dems on security "Maneuvering for election-year advantage, President Bush is striking back at Democrats who have trumpeted government findings that the Iraq war has helped recruit more terrorists, saying the opposition party is one of 'obstruction and endless second-guessing.'"

(Reuters) Democrats want to "cut and run" from Iraq, Bush says

(AP) White House refuses to release full NIE "The White House refused Wednesday to release the rest of a secret intelligence assessment that depicts a growing terrorist threat, as the Bush administration tried to quell election-season criticism that its anti-terror policies are seriously off track."

Yup, it's true, if Wile E. Coyote cuts and runs, he'll never catch Road Runner. But... he'll never catch Road Runner if he "stays the course." All he'll get for trying is falls off cliffs and self-immolations and explosions. Complex situations like Iraq very RARELY have an either-or solution and if it is naive of anyone to believe anything about Iraq (President Bush on Tuesday said it is naive and a mistake to think that the war with Iraq has worsened terrorism), it is naive to believe that staying the course or cutting and running are the only two options. WE BROKE IRAQ. We have the obligation to get it back on its feet. But instead of doing anything real, like getting the electricity working, we frittered away our honeymoon period trying to create a stock market and other secondary items. Hell, even the police academy we built for them is dookie--literally "It was intended to showcase U.S. rebuilding efforts in Iraq, but instead Baghdad's new police academy was declared a health hazard by U.S. inspectors who found human waste dripping from the ceilings." Our continued presence there does little but increase the terrorist threat because we are doing nothing right. Right now, the best thing we could probably do is remove our troops instantly and dump the money we'd spend on them on the Iraqi government and let them figure out how to spend it. Even if they took half of it home with them, they couldn't waste it worse than we are right now.

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5:49:54 AM    comment []  



  Wednesday, September 27, 2006

A picture named condi_and_katie.jpg (60 minutes) Condi: Katie Couric gets to see the many sides of Secretary of State Condoleezza Oh Katie, Katie, there's such a thing as a softball interview, but damn, this was a nerfball one. Did you even entertain the idea of challenging her on...ummmm...anything? By far, the most interesting interview of the weekend was the one where Bill Clinton handed Chris Wallace his ass on a platter. (WashPost) Chris Wallace, Caught Off Balance?

(AP) Clinton, Fox anchor battle in interview

(AP) Rice challenges Clinton on terror fight

Right now, the rightwing spin machine is both trying to portray Clinton as some kind of raving madman and a liar. Quite frankly, after the number of lies they've told about him, I'm surprised he hasn't decked anyone yet. The lunacy charge is of course an attempt to deflect opinion from the substance of what Clinton said. As for Rice's weaselly rebuttal, see this article on Media Matters: AP, CNN uncritically reported Rice's misleading response to Clinton interview

I'd also like to point out once again Keith Olbermann's COUNTDOWN, the only mainstream media venue that is not jumping on the Party line and trying to give credit and blame where it is due. Clinton wasn't blameless, but he recognized the threat of Al-Qaeda during his administration and tried to deal with it. The Republican dogpack accused him at the time of trying to deflect attention from that most important of all issues, whether or not he got a blowjob from an intern. The American people at the time, to their credit, responded, who gives a f***? Nonetheless, Clinton wasn't able to do much about the extremist threat and attempted the handoff to the new administration and got rebuffed...they had more important issues like tax cuts and stem cell lines and missile defense systems to protect us from the now non-existent threat of the Soviet Union. Despite Condi Rice's claim that they were not presented a plan, they were given an assessment of the dangers of extremist terrorism and a list of actions needed to address those dangers. If that ain't a plan, I don't know what is. Olbermann is covering each of these points in detail this week and furthermore has an interview with Bill Clinton that took place right after the Chris Wallace one, so check out the Countdown site for all this...

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  Monday, September 25, 2006

A picture named the_shadow_knows.jpg (AP) Many hopefuls keep Bush ties under wraps "Bush has yet to hold a single traditional campaign-style rally for one of his party's hopefuls this election cycle...of six fundraisers Bush is headlining this week, all but one [~] for Alabama Gov. Bob Riley [~] are private, by agreement between the White House and the campaigns...this year, in the same time period between July and the end of September, nearly two-thirds of Bush's political events are scheduled to be closed, held in private homes..." Invitation only, be sure to have your checkbook and Republican Party card in hand and be prepared to sign the loyalty pledge on entering.

In the meantime, people far more knowledgable than I have looked over the "compromise" between the mavericks and Bush about legalizing torture. Check The Nation The Pro-Torture Pact, The Washington Post, The Abuse Can Continue: Senators won't authorize torture, but they won't prevent it, either. and this press release from Amnesty International Amnesty International 'Deeply Disturbed' by New Detainee Legislation Everyone got what they wanted--Bush looks like he compromised when he didn't, and McCain, Graham and Warner got their names in the paper making believe they were righteous. The farce goes on.

And not that I'm old enough to have heard it first run (unless my parents had it on before I was even in short pants hehehe) but my favorite oldtime radio program is, as if you couldn't guess, THE SHADOW! Too bad the Alec Baldwin movie had such a LOUSY script...I wonder why there's this modernizing cliche of providing the characters with a back story and then getting it ALL WRONG!

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5:43:36 AM    comment []  



  Friday, September 22, 2006

A picture named well_theres_me.jpg (Reuters) Bush, Republicans forge terrorism interrogation deal

(AP) Deal on detainees quells GOP infighting

Let's face it, the only people Bush is interested in saving by "clarifying" the Geneva Conventions was his own and Dickyboy's sorry asses (well, Donald's and Alberto's too). By reaching a deal with his party's "mavericks", he gives them a win and makes a big show of being able to compromise. But have y'all forgotten something? The infamous Signing Statements. The president, our esteemed frat boy who used to brand pledges, is still going to be able to define what he decides is "cruel and inhuman".

Your faithful cartoonist apologizes for the lack of his usual anal retentive technique--he jumped too hard into a diet (ain't middle age awful? gotta watch that weight and cholesterol count) and had a rough day in the energy department. Not a bad drawing--just not as nitpicky perfect as my usual stuff. LOL. Fred'n'Bert will watch over me this weekend and forcefeed me a few carbs to get the engine running again :) Y'all have a good one. Oh and belated birthday greetings to a special pet who's helped almost as much as yon squirrels :)

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6:12:36 AM    comment []  



  Wednesday, September 20, 2006

A picture named geneva_clarifications.jpg (USAToday) Our view on handling terror suspects: Rules for interrogating terrorists? Yes. Torture? No.

(Slate) Powell Trumps Bush

(AFP) Powell expresses opposition to Bush plan on military tribunals

(AP) Bush fights GOP revolt over terror bill

(AP) Bush anti-terror plan edges forward

McCain and other Republicans, including Colin Powell, are being described as rebels and mavericks for opposing Bush's demands for "clarified" interrogation legislation. As everyone knows, if you try to clarify what's acceptable and what's not acceptable, you make it much easier to undermine the intent of a law by providing loopholes...just think income taxes. You'd think the IRS would have clearly defined instructions on what is and is not legal, but that doesn't stop people with good lawyers and accountants to find ways to circumvent the intention of the regulations. THAT'S what Bush's clarifications are intended to do, provide loopholes for torture. These rebels and mavericks are trying to uphold the rule of law, which the administration doesn't give a damn about...all they care about is the rule of the economic jungle, the survival of the richest.

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5:07:40 AM    comment []  



  Monday, September 18, 2006

A picture named spinach_e_coli_popeye.jpg (AP) Number of E. coli spinach cases hits 109

(AP) Brands recalled due to tainted spinach

(AP) Company: organic spinach not to blame

If you're concerned about any spinach you have at home, forego the spinach salad. COOKING kills e. coli. Sauteed spinach in garlic and olive oil (maybe some crumbled bacon for added flavor) is a wonderful dish. Spinach can also be added to chicken broth for a hearty chicken soup or to tomato soup for a tomato florentine. Saute it before using it in an omelet however--tossing it into the eggs as they cook just won't kill the e. coli. Cream of spinach soup is wonderful if you're not on a diet. Creamed spinach over poached salmon is to die for.

Yeah, Popeye got me to eat me spinach when I was a kid. If you can get ahold of them, the original Segar comic strips are wonderfully surreal, as are the early Fleischer cartoons. A true American classic.

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  Friday, September 15, 2006

A picture named droopey_dawg_lieberman.jpg I'll be posting commentary a bit later--headache time again :( But yes, I decided to realize Joe Lieberman as Droopy Dawg (as Jon Stewart has been vocalizing him) because I haven't seen anyone ELSE who had ... Droopy's thatch of hair makes a nice yarmulka, doesn't it?

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7:51:27 AM    comment []  



  Wednesday, September 13, 2006

A picture named safer_at_the_old_ballgame.jpg (NEWSWEEK) Patriotism or Politics? President Bush called for unity in his latest speech, but in reality, he was gearing up for a bruising fall campaign.

(CNN) Transcript of Bush Speech

(Keith Olbermann Blog) This hole in the ground

How is it that Olberman is the only commentator in network or cable news who dares to tell the truth these days? I guess it's not surprising when the events of 9/11 meant nothing to the man leading our country but a political opportunity and continue to mean only that. You read headline after headline about Democrats being upset at the Bush. Well, I'm NOT a Democrat and I'm DAMN upset about where he has led our nation, about his lies, about his sabotage of the constitution, about his war for his oil cronies. Get it right, news media, this isn't about Democrats and Republicans, this is about democracy and demagoguery. Do we have to prove Plato right?

In the meantime, investigative reporter Greg Palast has been slapped with criminal charges Palast Charged with Journalism in the First Degree for "unauthorized filming of a 'critical national security structure' in Louisiana," i.e., an oil refinery right next to a Katrina evacuee encampment still filled with 73,000 people made homeless for the last year...maybe they're still homeless as punishment for looking at the refinery every day? Welcome to the police state.

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  Monday, September 11, 2006

A picture named fifth_anniversary.jpg Is this a tasteless cartoon? You're damn right, it's tasteless. But no more tasteless than the shameful and shameless politicizing of this tragedy on American soil by Bush, his administration and their corporate ilk. I only saw two hours of the ABC-Disney "Path to 9/11" last night because that was all I could stomach. Over and over again was this constant drone underneath every action: This wouldn't have happened IF WE DIDN'T HAVE TO OBEY ANY LAWS.

DAMN YOU FOOLS--the fact that we pay attention to laws is the very thing that makes US the GOOD GUYS! Is this the legacy of 9/11? of the 3000 innocent dead? That this nation decides to step over the line and say, "We ARE the law, we don't need to pay attention to any laws that are too inconvenient for us to follow!"? Is that why these people gave their lives?

President Bush is fond of saying that we are at war and we took the war to Afghanistan and to Iraq so we wouldn't have to fight it here. But What in God's Holy Name did 9/11 have to do with Iraq? (AFP) No Qaeda-Saddam Hussein links: US Senate report and (Reuters) Senate panel finds no prewar Iraq-Qaeda link

And yet, as late as a scant few weeks ago, El Exigente continued to link Saddam and 9/11 in a press conference: "I square it because, imagine a world in which you had Saddam Hussein who had the capacity to make a weapon of mass destruction, who was paying suiciders to kill innocent life, who would -- who had relations with Zarqawi. Imagine what the world would be like with him in power. The idea is to try to help change the Middle East. You know, I've heard this theory about everything was just fine until we arrived, and kind of 'we're going to stir up the hornet's nest' theory. It just doesn't hold water, as far as I'm concerned. The terrorists attacked us and killed 3,000 of our citizens before we started the freedom agenda in the Middle East." And when the reporter he was speaking to dared question that connection: "Q: What did Iraq have to do with that?
THE PRESIDENT: What did Iraq have to do with what?
Q: The attack on the World Trade Center?"
Bush whirled on him faster than Bela Lugosi on a recently lacerated finger and fired back, testily: "THE PRESIDENT: Nothing, except for it's part of -- and nobody has ever suggested in this administration that Saddam Hussein ordered the attack. Iraq was a -- the lesson of September the 11th is, take threats before they fully materialize....Nobody has ever suggested that the attacks of September the 11th were ordered by Iraq." (From The Nation) At Press Conference, Bush Stays the Course What amazed me was that Georgie was so used to combining Saddam and 9/11 in one paragraph that he totally had no idea what the reporter was questioning when he asked what Iraq had to do with 9/11. WOW, doubleplusgood duckspeaker, that!

But let's get back to The MOUSE. No, not the one at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, I mean Disney-ABC and their probably-still-being-edited opus. We all know about Monica Lewinsky. Because of allegations about practically everything under the sun, Clinton was under investigation from the 2nd year of his incumbency. The only thing they could really get on him was that he'd had a dalliance with an intern. Not that that's illegal, but by questioning him about it under oath while he was testifying about some other incident, he relied upon a studied prevarication, which was far enough away from the truth to allow him to be impeached on a charge of perjury. Now Bill Clinton isn't the first Pres to have an affair in office, nor will he be the last, but I mean com'on, how many husbands would say I dood it unless they have to explain an illness or a baby, yanno'at I mean? Let's be serious!

So, "PATH" segues from a discussion about how AMERICANS are in danger (in a made-up section of the screenplay) (MediaMatters) ABC retained fabricated scene showing Clinton officials aborting mission to capture Bin Laden to a shot of Monica Lewinsky on a television in a car with Richard Clarke and John O'Neill. (AP) ABC airs first night of 9/11 miniseries "In the original scene, an actor portraying White House terrorism czar Richard Clarke shares a limousine ride with FBI agent John O'Neill and tells him: 'The Republicans are going all-out for impeachment. I just don't see in that climate the president's going to take chances' and give the order to kill bin Laden.
"But in the film aired Sunday, Clarke says to O'Neill: 'The president has assured me this ... won't affect his decision-making.'
"O'Neill replies: 'So it's OK if somebody kills bin Laden, as long as he didn't give the order. It's pathetic."

Disney/ABC claims that the Lewinsky affair has been neutralized by this dialogue. But anyone in Film 101 can tell you, it doesn't matter what's SAID in a film, the very inclusion of a shot of Monica Lewinsky TELLS the viewer that the Lewinsky affair is MUCH more important than the dialogue indicates. And once again, O'Neill's line about the unwillingness of Clinton to order an assassination being pathetic goes straight back to the thesis of this production, that if we didn't have to follow laws, we could've dealt with this. I refer you to Executive Order 12333 (1981, signed by Ronald Reagan) part 2.11: Prohibition on Assassination. "No person employed by or acting on behalf of the United States Government shall engage in, or conspire to engage in, assassination." It's not only a law, by damn, it's a REPUBLICAN law!

And yet John Lehman grouses in the aforementioned AP miniseries article, "'And if you don't like the hits to the Clinton administration, well, welcome to the club,' Lehman said. 'The Republicans have lived with Michael Moore and Oliver Stone and most of Hollywood as a fact of life.'" Welcome to Disingenuousland. Does Lehman mean to imply that there is a moral equivalency between a movie you have to leave your house and pay to see and one that's beamed straight into your livingroom free of charge? I think he does. But I hope more people are beginning to see through the rhetorical tricks that are being used to pull the wool over the American people's eyes. If there is any fitting memorial to the innocents of 9/11 I could wish, it would be the opening of the eyes of our country to the spirit of lawlessness, of the hunger for power for its own sake that is a cancer on what was once a land of integrity.

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6:54:12 AM    comment []  



  Friday, September 8, 2006

A picture named potomac_intersex_bass.jpg (Newsday) 'Intersex' bass discovered in Potomac River

(WashPost) Male Bass Across Region Found to Be Bearing Eggs: Pollution Concerns Arise In Drinking-Water Source

(SeattleTimes) Best moment as president was catching a largemouth bass, Bush says

That's Going Too Far: Bush's fish story, part II

I think this cartoon (and its source stories) speaks for itself, but what I want to talk about is the impending 9/11 Fifth Anniversary mediablitz, and especially, the "docu-drama" going to be shown on ABC that purports to be based on the 9/11 Commission Report, but contains a whole host of inaccuracies, all to the benefit of the current administration. Seems they had themselves vetted by the Republican committee chair and promised Rush Limbaugh through a friend that it would skewer the Clinton administration. Now, ordinarily, I'm very laissez-faire in the free speech department, but I believe that common carriers like television networks have a duty not to promulgate propaganda, particularly when, as originally planned, this docudrama was going to be shown to school kids in study programs. Fortunately, SCHOLASTIC has decided NOT to support it with study materialsScholastic squashes 'The Path to 9/11' guide (replacing them with materials "focusing on media literacy, critical thinking and historical background."), but heck, a lot of ADULTS are going to watch this and think it's basically a dramatization of the 9/11 report, which seems to be FAR from the case. Anyway, check out Media Matters for more information. Think Progress has a petition here if you care to protest. The innocent victims of 9/11 deserve to be memorialized by the truth, not by partisan fingerpointing. ABC claims that any criticism is misplaced because "editing" had not yet been finished...less than a week before the showing of a five-hour miniseries? Oh, yeah :)

UPDATE: MoveOn.Org has this to say: "In a little over 48 hours, ABC will air a five-hour "docudrama" on the 9/11 attacks. The movie was written and produced by a right-wing activist who fabricated key scenes to blame Democrats and defend Republicans.1 It's so partisan that even Rush Limbaugh was surprised ABC decided to air it.2 And an FBI agent who was brought in to consult on the docudrama quit because, he said, "they were making things up."3 ...It's not just that ABC's movie is slanted. Big parts of it are simply untrue. The producer himself even admitted to simply improvising a key scene which depicts the Clinton administration letting bin Laden go when they had him in their sights[^]a complete fabrication.5 Last night, the movie's star, Harvey Keitel, said "It turned out not all the facts were correct."6" Click here to sign MoveOn's petition going to ABC.

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4:55:34 AM    comment []  



  Wednesday, September 6, 2006

A picture named good_n_crazy.jpg (USA TODAY)Bush: Enemies are 'evil,' but not insane

(MercuryNews) Faulting the White House is similar to appeasing Nazis, Rumsfeld says

Oh, yes, we are gearing up for the November election, all right, gotta make sure the populace is good and scared. More if you're not with us, you're against us, let's make believe that we're fighting the Nazis and anyone who thinks we're wrong is like Neville Chamberlain. In the meantime, we're playing by Herman Goering's playbook.

UPDATE: Little did I know that Our Beloved Bush was going to go on and on in this mode for several days running...even Republican polls must be showing them in danger of losing either the House or the Senate. Our madcap Big Brother acknowledged our illegal "black prisons" (secret torture gardens in remote, non-U.S. countries to avoid scrutiny and looking as guilty as sin) by bringing 14 prisoners to Gitmo (gee, what an improvement) (AP) Bush acknowledges secret CIA prisons and now wants to "amend" the War Crimes Act to specify exactly WHAT kind of torture is illegal so we can freely practice any OTHER kind of torture we have a mind to (AFP) US wants to amend law barring degrading treatment of detainees, since the so-called vagueness of the ban against torture and degrading and humiliating treatment is deemed, in that horrible locution of CorporateSpeak, unacceptable. (WashPost) War Crimes Act Changes Would Reduce Threat Of Prosecution. Geoffrey Corn, former US Army legal expert, told the Post that Common Article 3 was, according to its written history, "left deliberately vague because efforts to define it would invariably lead to wrongdoers identifying 'exceptions,' and because the meaning was plain -- treat people like humans and not animals or objects." Which is exactly what the intent of the amendment is...

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8:07:50 AM    comment []  



  Monday, September 4, 2006

somebody watched crocodile hunter too muchI wasn't planning on any updates today, but I couldn't let this pass, so I'm reprinting a cartoon from 2004 that had a humorous but affectionate reference to Crocodile Hunter. Steve Irwin was, by all accounts, a great person, as fun in person as he seemed to be on the tube, and a truly great lover of our wild companions on this planet. I'm not the outdoorsey type, but I love it when new creatures visit my studio (OK, I wasn't too thrilled when I discovered a 5' long black snake crawling through my ceiling fixtures one dark and stormy night after I'd been watching a Hammer movie fest the night before). Steve did wondrous things to make people aware of the beauty of our wild neighbors, a beauty which more and more is disappearing from the world, and aware of our responsibility to act to help maintain the spectacular diversity of creation. Ironically, the animal which accidentally killed him is not a very dangerous creature, but as always, Steve Irwin got as close as he could and this time, as close as he could was a little too close. He was a kind and brave soul who inspired others and he will sorely be missed. Our sincerest condolences to his wife and family.

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6:22:35 PM    comment []  



  Friday, September 1, 2006

america's heroine...NOT! Dobbs compared Coulter to Michael Moore; she preferred Mencken or Twain

Ann Coulter Identifies John Murtha as a Target for Murder (121 comments)

(Ann Coulter.Com)THEY SHOT THE WRONG LINCOLN

Ann Coulter, the Ayatollah of rightwing fake punditry, has put a fatwa on the head of old Lincoln Chafee, showing she has much more in common with the Islamo-fascists than she likes to admit, and I don't mean the Islamo-part. Or is this one of her famous "jokes"?

Coulter told Lou Dobbs she considered herself the right wing Mark Twain or HL Mencken, arguing for herself a wit comparable to these great men of American letters. At least she tacitly admitted that these two of our greatest minds WEREN'T right-wing, but as to whether or not her wit is their equal, I'd rather say she was the equal of a sleazy Weimar Republic cabaret host telling hate jokes (But if you could see her through my eyes, she wouldn't look Jewish at all--CABARET). In any case, in her latest hate-spew, she suggests the wrong Lincoln got shot, as if the bigots of the world would wait 140 years to shoot Lincoln Chafee whose only sin appears to be being a Republican with the gall to think for himself. This makes him a candidate for assassination? Think, "Night of the Long Knives"!

As Hitler explained his actions on that night: ""If anyone reproaches me and asks why I did not resort to the regular courts of justice, then all I can say is this: In this hour I was responsible for the fate of the German people, and thereby I became the supreme judge (oberster Gerichtsherr) of the German people"
(Wikipedia) Night of the Long Knives, quoting Wm. Shirer, The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich Substitute "American" for "German" and you'll see why Bush, Coulter, and all the rest of these frighten the bejeesus out of me and why three years ago I began this illustrated journal.

In any case, here's one of my most celebrated sketches to round out this retrospective...Have a great Labor Day holiday :)

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3:31:33 AM    comment []  




Aye, I'll condemn anything that leaves the task of protecting American freedom to scofflaws like me.

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