I'm Back (sort of)
It's been 10 days since I've posted here, and there are lots of reasons. But more about that later.
I wanted to tell you what it was like to grab a last-minute flight on Halloween night, in case it ever comes up.
It was okay. They handed out Starbursts at the end. A couple of kids wore costumes. It was 40 degrees when I left Seattle and 80 when I arrived in Phoenix, but that could happen almost any day, so forget that.
The flight back was interesting, though, mostly because I sat in front of two younger guys who were drinking Wild Turkey and talking very loudly. Their conversation mostly centered around NASCAR and their jobs in Alaska, which was where they were headed, I gather.
One of them wondered aloud what time it was in Anchorage, and so they had a serious discussion about this. The consensus seemed to be that it was 2:30 a.m. in Alaska, which was interesting because the current time was 10 p.m. and we were approaching Seattle.
So, I'm thinking that maybe I'm getting cranky in my old age, or possibly it was just the stress of the trip, but it might be a good idea if a simple test is given in the airport before you're allowed to board. This would consist of identifying -- on your first attempt -- your right arm from your left, and estimating the current time at the place that is your final destination. I say if you're off by more than three hours (or an arm), they don't let you on the plane. You're now free to bus around the country. Just from a safety point of view. Anyone that stupid is liable to try to use a cell phone in flight or step outside for a smoke. I say we nip this in the bud. Or else the terrorists will have won.
Actually, the more I think about it, this has everything to do with age. I'm currently writing a piece about the fortieth anniversary of the JFK assassination, and I realize I remember something that happened 40 years ago. My daughter is in college and my son is taller than I am. I don't think I know how to play the guitar anymore. I'm missing some hair and teeth. I drive a minivan. I made a joke about Patty Duke the other night and nobody got it.
And so on. Oh, for the days when I could drink Wild Turkey without a second thought and ruminate on the mysteries of God and Daylight Savings Time.
There. I'm done. I'll be back soon and in a better mood, same Bat Time, same Bat Channel. And if you don't understand that reference, then I'm probably too old for you to be reading. If you do, I've got a great Patty Duke joke. Really.
11:41:58 AM 
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