Guest Blogger #26
Well, we're almost done. We're down to family and possibly a curtain call. It's been fun.
When I asked Mom to write something, even though I told her she had a month to think about it, she was inspired and sent this right away.
She also sent another one, which I imagine I'll run in a couple of days.
I'm not much into geneaology, but I love family stories, and I'm always surprised by the details I didn't know. Since my father passed away, especially, I've appreciated getting to know and understand him better in retrospect.
June 16, 2005
By Carleen Sigars
Chuck has asked me to write something for his blog. I have tried to think of a subject that would be interesting to write about, but so far no good ideas. This will not be timely next month, but I have been thinking of the holiday that will be here Sunday.
Fathers Day…it comes around every year and every year I feel differently about it. Last year was the first Fathers Day since my husband and the father of my children died. It was a day of memories for me. I took flowers to his gravesite and thought about him and the children. As much as I would like to think he was a perfect father, he wasn’t. He was a man who had a mixed-up childhood and a missing father and then a stepfather who didn’t understand kids. He tried very hard but he really didn’t know how to be a father. He must have been successful, though. His children have good memories of him, and they all miss him, terribly.
We were only 19 when our first child was born, a son. So young…At 21 a second son, and at 23, a daughter. Life was not easy for us. I was a stay-at-home Mom who baked cookies and rocked babies and played games and read books with them. Chuck Sr. went to work every day and then would come home and run out to the store for a loaf of bread for dinner. I didn’t learn to drive until I was in my 30’s. There never seemed to be enough money for everything, but we managed. We had family around us that we visited frequently, and they were always there for support and encouragement when we needed it. Sounds like a 1950’s family…and it was.
Chuck Sr. took the boys to “Indian Guide” meetings and campouts. Taught them to ride bikes and roller skate and play ball. They helped with the yardwork and dishes. He tried to teach them skills that he was good at, repairing things around the house, building things out of wood, working on the cars. He was impatient with them, especially when they didn’t catch on fast. He was a perfectionist, which made it a little hard for his kids to come up to his standards. But…he was always behind them, all the way. He supported and cheered for them and their successes and supported and listened to them with their problems. He loved his family with a passion and we all miss him.
Fathers...of course, I can’t forget my own father. From a different generation, a different family life, but no different in how he felt about his girls. There were three girls in my family; I was the oldest. My father was also young when I was born, only 21. He was handsome and funny and certainly had the “gift of gab.” He was born into a farming family, during a very tough period. He grew up in the 20’s and 30’s. He married young and I arrived 10 months after that. During my life at home with my parents, he farmed and then became a salesman, with that “gift of gab.” He loved his wife and children, but he had his problems too. He was an alcoholic, and when he wasn’t drinking life was good. It was always feast or famine as far as the income he brought in. It didn’t really matter to us girls, because we always had everything we wanted, especially the love of our parents. I never feared confiding in either of my parents. No matter what the situation was, they always supported me. Corrected me and told me what mistakes I made, but forgave me everything. That’s a wonderful way for a person to feel. It gives you the confidence to do anything. He died 15 years ago next month. I miss him still, but memories are wonderful things.
I now see my children as parents and they are all different. Again, I see how much they each love their families and that is good.
What I do realize is that we are all products of our past. We all make mistakes with our kids but the one mistake we cannot make is to love them totally.
8:41:37 AM 
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