Guest Blogger #29
John and I went round and round about this.
I wanted Classic John, the boy who thinks every joke is the funniest, every meal is the tastiest, every day is the sunniest. He can be like that, you know. I wanted his observations, as concrete as they can be. He really can be a wonderful writer when he's in the mood. And the mood I wanted, of course, was optimistic.
But no one is optimistic all the time, as he points out. And summers are hard. School is hard, too, but it comes with a built-in stress reducer: at the end of the day he gets to come home. Summers, though, are relentless days of same ol', same ol'. We do not take summers in this household, a household where the adults do not get two weeks of paid vacation every year. So John suffers. You can only enjoy the luxury of waking up when you want so long before you forget what the other way was like.
He was in this mood, sort of dark and pensive, when he wrote his first piece for me. I stamped "REJECTED" on it, and he dug his heels in and that was that. So I scrambled, rearranged, told my wife I needed her blog right away and emailed Beth to say the same thing. I stamped my foot and pouted and complained that my family had let me down. I went out and mowed the lawn. I shaved my beard off. I probably gnashed my teeth. And then the phone rang.
"Let me talk to John."
"Why do you want to talk to John?"
"Just let me talk to him."
"Beth, I have to live with him. Tell me why." (I knew, of course).
"DAD. Let me talk to John."
There is no greater power in the universe, you see. Not with John. Beth uses this judiciously, and rarely, but she wields a big sword when it comes to her brother.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him blog. Not unless you're his sister.
Born to Be OLD
By John Sigars
Hello. There are many of you who have heard of me, but not from me, so I thought I would clear some stuff up.
I'm not perfect, I'm not always happy, but I get through it.
You're probably wondering about this weird title. Well, it's how I feel every day. For any of you who have seen "Lord of the Rings," you might remember this line: "I feel stretched, like butter spread on bread too thin" or something of that matter. Mind you, this might not be exact. I'm lazy and I just don't want to find the real words, but I think this is close.
Anyhoo, just so you know, that fits my every-day feelings exactly. I feel like my back is going to lose its spine, or my head will eventually turn completely around, from all its cracking. At the age of 15, I feel so old. Now that I've explained the title, it's time to clear up who I am.
A man once said, "Life is peaceful, life is simple. Life is BORING." Ask my father, he'll explain.
That is my life. Everything is simple, peaceful, and mega-boring. My dog? Well, he hates me...we have issues. Then there's my sister. I was a brat, a snot and a lot of other things too, and now my sister is off in college. My own grown-up and smart sister is gone. I miss her. I wish I could have her back and hug her if just once. I miss her.
Then there's my mother. She teaches a lot! And my dad, though at home, works like a slave. I just want him to hang out with me. I don't have any nearby friends, which sucks, and then I have the obsidian curse of all curses.
I say stupid things.
I try to be funny. I can't.
I try to "hang." I most definitely can't.
All this thinking really just makes me want to get away, makes me want to travel.
Yeah, travel sounds good. Maybe go to that big giant Buddhist temple? Oh man I forgot its name. It does get me thinking maybe I should become a Buddhist. I like unity, I'm not one for violence, I would love peace and serenity -- a feeling of calm to wash away my troubles.
That or I could swim with dolphins.
All of these things are dreams of mine.
These things will probably never happen, but I can dream can't I?
Alas, things are destined to be unusual for me.
Well, this is it. My life, my thoughts, my dreams, and my questionable fate.
8:34:23 AM 
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