Me
The numbness and tingling and loss of sensation on my right side is now confined to a small area in my lower right leg: I can't feel just above my ankle or the top of my right foot. So, it's getting better. I'm still getting bad headaches, though, and I have photophobia, which is a fancy way of saying that I am intolerant of bright light, or any light at all, really. My eyes water and I wince. I don't know what that's about, but I haven't worn my contact lenses in a week and I'm hoping it goes away because I don't want another round of going to see doctors. Yes, yes, yes, I'll take care of it. I hear you all moaning at me to go see an eye doctor. And I will. I promise.
The other thing has been a persistent sharp cough and tickle in my throat which I thought would have gone away by now, since it's been one week since my surgery. The cough wakes me up at night and, consequently, I am remembering my dreams. And my dreams have been very very very strange. Lots of old boyfriend dreams (nothing racy, just guys whom I hadn't thought about in years showing up in my dreams) and strange places dreams (like a hotel that is being remodeled but until the remodel is complete, needs to be accessed by swimming to it or office buildings that require special access that I don't have and then I get in anyway, but get caught) and just strange-all-around dreams. I just want to sleep! Bleah.
I am officially off from work until next Monday. I am confident that I'll be able to go back by then. I see the surgeon again on Wednesday and go to Occupational Health on Thursday to get my clean bill of health.
Jack
When my nephew, who is 12 years old, was about Jack's age, I called my sister to see how she was doing and she sighed in a mixture of exasperation and exhaustion and said, "He's a climber."
I had no idea what she meant, but I do now.
Jack is a climber, too.
Today, I came here, into the little office cum downstairs nursery to send a few e-mails and left Jack playing happily in the living room, where many of his toys are. I heard some noises that I wasn't sure about, and ran out to the living room, only to see him in the kitchen STANDING on the kitchen table with a basket of peaches and throwing the peaches across the room (he thought that they were balls.)
This morning, when we took Sydney for her walk, Jack climbed up onto a low stone wall and walked on it for its entire length. He did this several times.
He is unstoppable at playgrounds. He heaves himself up on the platforms for big kids and hurtles himself down sliding boards. He is still (thank you God) cautious about jumping (I don't know why he's so cautious, but I am not questioning this little bit of grace that I have been given.) It's good that he is cautious because I often turn to find him at the highest peak of the jungle gym poised at an opening looking defiantly at me. Then he spins around and finds a slide to come down on.
It is very very very hard not to be overprotective. I scream inside myself every two seconds: No! Holy shit! Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't! No! Shit! On the outside, I say: Good job! What a good boy! Hold on! Feet first!
Where is my little baby who I carried around in the baby carrier?
Three H's
The weather has been dadgum hot. Hot sticky hot. On Saturday afternoon, when Kevin got home from work, he took Jack and I to the beach in Gloucester. Yesterday, Jack and I went to the sprinkler park. Today, we were all set to go to the pool that is about a block from our house and that pool was, inexplicably, closed, so we went to another pool that we had to drive to. At least we were wet. Tomorrow, we are going to the beach again. I am trying to pack a lot of summer into the days. I like having damp beach towels on the clothesline and bathing suits on the towel rack in the bathroom and the whole insouciant attitude that comes with beachgoing and pool-hopping. Meals are whenever and whatever. Bathing suits are rinsed out and worn again under a pair of shorts or a skirt the next day. Hair is in a ponytail or under a hat. Shoes are flip flops or sandals. Socks are in winter storage. It's ok to eat a popsicle for dinner.
It's summer.
8:54:25 PM 
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